DD1's School Schedule conflicts with LO's routine--need EASY suggestions/help!

[stephanne2]

With school starting next week, I need some EASY suggestions as DD1's school schedule conflicts with LO's routine and I need a little help working this through in my head.

Here's what LO's routine was today--it varies within about 30min day to day:

7:30am - Wake Up
E - 8:00 Nurse, 9:00 Solids (puree)
A - 3:15hr
S - 10:45 to 12:00 (1:15hr)
E - 12:00 Nurse, 1:00 Solids (finger foods)
A - Usually 3:15 to 3.5hr, but put down early--fussy and exhausted--with top up feed 30min prior to 2nd nap
S - Ideal would be 3:15/3:30, but today nap was 2:45 to 4:15
E - 5:30 Nurse, 6:30 Solids (Puree + finger foods)
A - 3.5hr with BT routine = bath, bottle (EBM + formula), jammies, book, bed
S - 7:45

We live within walking distance of DD1's school. In good weather we walk and start to finish it takes about 30 minutes. In bad weather we drive and start to finish for drop-off is about 30 minutes, while pickup is about 60 minutes.

For drop-off, we'd leave around 8:40am and be back around 9/9:10. Not too worried about this time as I could probably adjust morning nursing session and solids to accommodate the time.

The afternoon pickup is the trickier time frame because it comes during nap #2.  For pickup, we'd leave around 3:40 and be back around 4/4:10 (in good weather). Given her current schedule, LO is typically asleep anytime between 2:45 and 4:30, depending on how things go in the first part of the day.

So, given that my goal is still good DT sleep (LO still does not STTN though she just turned 9MO), I'm concerned about what this schedule will do to that 2nd nap--especially since that's usually the better of the two naps.  I do not have alternative options available for getting DD1 to school--I'm it. And though we're relatively close to the school (about 1 mile) she is not old enough to walk by herself as it's a VERY busy street she crosses.

Any thoughts/suggestions for what I might try?

[jessmum46]

Would you consider starting your day at 7am?  Then you could do something like:

WU 7am
Nap 10-11 (wake her)
Nap 2-3.30
BT 7pm

[stephanne2]

I did think about being more consistent with a 7am DWT--sometimes it's 7, sometimes 7:30.  But with WT's that are closer to 3:15-3.5hr, I still run into the same problem come the afternoon nap. It's too early to go to one nap (I think--maybe I'm wrong), but sometimes I wonder... she's just now 9MO.

[jessmum46]

No I agree too early for one nap.  But if you aim for her pm nap at 2pm (almost like a set nap) and then slowly cap her morning nap shorter to ensure she's tired enough to go down for it then I think that might be a good way round your problem.  You could do set naps at 10am and 2pm (although this is not standard BW advice it is what a lot of mums who have other LOs to work round have found helpful) and initially cap her morning nap at an hour.  If she begins to resist her pm nap and seems UT, then you can slowly cap the morning nap further.

What do you think?

[stephanne2]

Anything's worth a shot!!!  If I understand what you're saying, I'm going to actually REDUCE her current WT'S and do naps based on the clock vs. actually WT length, right?  Start capping nap #1 at 1hr, then gradually--based on the length of her PM naps--back it off until she's old enough for 1 nap.  Is there a minimum nap she should have? Like... 30 minutes? Or would 45 be the min to back things off to?  (Jumping the gun here, I know--my OCD self just likes to know my plan in advance so I don't reneg!)

Naps have been exceptionally short yesterday and so far today--35 minutes. I was putting her down earlier than usual because she was getting nasty grumpy/tired and figured her short naps were due to UT (though she wakes up angry).  Will she eventually re-adjust to the shorter WT's again after several days?  I'm assuming I'll probably have a few more days like this... right?

[jessmum46]

How have the last couple of days been?

The idea when you do a short am, long pm routine is that because you are capping the first nap short, it doesn't matter if it would have been an UT nap.  In fact LO is likely to be in a better mood being woken from a nap after a shorter A time than a longer one.  But if your LO won't go down UT for naps (mine never would) then you may have to rethink a bit, but we can cross that bridge when and if

After the capped am nap the next A time is also likely to be a bit shorter because LO isn't fully rested by the capped nap.  So yes in a sense you are going for shorter A times in the earlier part of the day, but the A time after the long nap should be a 'full' A time.  The times I suggested were just a guide and you may find you need to alter them a bit to suit your LO and your commitments.

Generally I would cap first at an hour, then maybe 45, 30, 20 and then jump to one nap.  Some people have done a quick 10/15 min nap but I found that did nothing for us. 

[stephanne2]

Makes perfect sense now that you explain it--totally hadn't considered that approach to UT naps before. I'm anxious to give it a try, but unfortunately LO has been short-napping all this week, so I haven't been able to cap. Hopefully it's just her adjusting to the shorter AM WT!! Thanks for your suggestion--can't to give it a go!

[stephanne2]

Alrighty... we're about two weeks into our new schedule, but we've yet to actually put "the plan" (capping 1st nap at 1hr to allow for good 2nd nap) into action because LO has been short-napping (30-45 minutes) since the day before I decided what to do!

So here's what our day looks like:

DWT, 7am (though often awake and fussy/mantra crying between 6:30/6:45)
E - 7:15 Nurse, 8:15 Solids
A - Take DD1 to school @8:40, Stroller Ride, Playtime = 3hr
S - 9:45/10 to 10:30/10:45  (Down at 9:45am when UBER fussy/cranky and on days when awake earlier)

E - 11 Nurse, 12 Solids
A - Playtime, Errands, Top-up feed before 2nd nap (though thinking about taking this away to go strict 4hr routine) = 3/3:15hr
S - 2 to 3/3:20
Pick up DD1 at 3:45

E - 5 Nurse, 5:30/6 Solids
A - Playtime, bathtime, Nurse before bed = 3:30hr
S - Asleep at 7pm (usually)

MOTN = 5am, Nurse

Any suggestions to maximize our naps? LO is 9.5MO and hasn't been a great napper, ever, though for a short stretch of about 2-3 weeks a month or so ago, she was taking two 1.5hr naps every day.  Now I'm getting a rash of short naps and am not really sure how/where to start to get things back at a healthier level.

She goes down for naps without a peep, but wakes cranky, rubbing eyes and groggy. Once downstairs and at play she's generally fine though.  In the mornings, she makes it about 2 hours before she starts getting "ugly" (fussy/cranky) and in the afternoon I don't notice much fuss at all because her WT is short enough I don't think it ever really gets to that point. 

TIA

[jessmum46]

I wonder if you need to shorten her am nap to say 30 mins and then pd for the pm nap earlier, hoping for a more restful 1.5-2h?

Say something like

Nap 9.45/10 for 30 mins
Nap 1.15/30 for up to 2h

?

[stephanne2]

The first nap has been typically in the 30-35 minute range, with a rare 45-60 min nap thrown in--just to keep me guessing. :-)  And unfortunately, even with the short naps in the morning, her afternoon naps only seem to be getting worse.  On a good day, we get 1:20 naps, but usually it's about an hour to 1:15.

So discouraging.  It's been 9.5 months and she's still not STTN and I'm still trying to figure out naps.  I feel like the worst Mom ever. DD1 was a cake walk in comparison--which is why I find myself so frustrated and down in the dumps all the time!  I feel like I hardly get any 'Y' time and this Momma is BURNED.OUT.

I'll try capping consistently at 30 and see what happens. Thanks!

[jessmum46]

How are you getting on?

[stephanne2]

It's going.  Sometimes we get good naps... about 1 in every 4 days.  I tried putting down for the afternoon nap earlier, but that nap ended up being 30-45 minutes as well, so after about 4 days trying I went back to Plan A where I was at least getting one long nap out of the two. And now I'm back to one short nap, one long nap.

Trying to figure out this little one is exhausting and discouraging and I feel like she'll always be a poor sleeper because naps are irregular, she doesn't STTN yet (at 10MO) and I've tried just about everything. Don't know whether to keep experimenting and trying and calculating and tracking patterns like I have been for 10MO now, or just accept that she's a short napper, hope that someday she'll STTN and move on mentally/emotionally. :-(

[Erin M]

Trying to figure out this little one is exhausting and discouraging and I feel like she'll always be a poor sleeper because naps are irregular, she doesn't STTN yet (at 10MO) and I've tried just about everything. Don't know whether to keep experimenting and trying and calculating and tracking patterns like I have been for 10MO now, or just accept that she's a short napper, hope that someday she'll STTN and move on mentally/emotionally. :-(

I just have to drop off some BTDT (((hugs)))) right here -- my ds was a terrible napper - I could never figure out if I was too busy with his sisters to get the A times right, if he was too overstimulated, or if those infernal school runs messed everything up -- but my silver lining is that when we dropped to one nap around a year, he started taking 2 hour naps every day (this from a boy who almost never took one longer than 40 minutes up until this point).  He also started STTN at 11 months after never sleeping through prior to that.  So, try to provide the "right" conditions for good naps, but don't stress yourself out overly about it. 

[jessmum46]

Agreed

DD was never a great napper but has been much better since on one nap too x