The 2-1 journey continues....

[Joy-filled]

I am soooooo frustrated!!!  Nothing works with this boy.  I'm not one for exaggerating or focusing on the negative but the honest truth is that nothing has worked with Aaron and it has been a year now.  I am so weary of trying and trying. 

WU was 6:50 today, GU 7:00
Nap 11:38-12:11 (33 min ), rocked and slept only 1 more sleep cycle (36 min) .  Woke at 12:56.

According to my new plan he should therefore go to bed at 6:30 as he had a crummy total of 1 hr 9 min.  However, I am absolutely certain he is going to be OT as that will mean 5.5 hr A time having had practically no restorative sleep in the day as he had 2 short naps, essentially.  I think it would be better to try a car CN and a 7:00/30 BT. 

Sigh...I am so tired of this.  I just want a set nap time, my boy to sleep 2 hrs and a set BT.  I was hopeful we'd get there but it wasn't working and it is discouraging to change the plan again.  My head hurts trying to figure out the best plan for this boy, recalculating things every day and constantly trying something new every other week and it not working.  I really don't mean to complain but I guess I wish this wasn't so hard.

I was hoping he'd sleep a good long lovely nap with a shorter am A time but he clearly didn't do that yesterday or today.  Shiv, what do you think I should do?  Did I not stick to the 12:00 set nap time and 7:30 set BT long enough?  I just don't know.

[Eva's Mummy]

Yesterday you still did 4hrs 35mins A time, why dont you try the 4hrs and see what happens?

[Joy-filled]

I guess I thought it was 4 hrs since I counted 1/2 time from WU to GU.  But maybe since he's wide awake during that time, standing, singing, crying, throwing his lovey out of his crib, etc. it really isn't 1/2 time and it really was 4 hr 35? 

Do you think I should do 4 hrs even on the "1 nap" days?

[Eva's Mummy]

Its worth trying once then you know, as i said Eva pulled a 3hr nap out the bag on a shorter A to catch up then we did 5hrs to BT. So that gave us a 12hr day then she slept 13hrs that night. That got us back on track for 4.5hr, nap (usually 2.5hrs) then 4.5/5hrs BT 

[ZacsMumme]

Oh Hun you have tried so hard to help him get onto a good 1 nap day. Sometimes they just don't play ball with us 

I really just don't know tbh all I can tell is he is most definately OT. But if your pushing through OT to get his clocker is is expected...but I just would have thought things would have settled by now YK?

There is no harm I don't think in just taking 3 days to go by his cues. Cut the A times down and see if he will sleep better.

S x

[Joy-filled]

Thanks ladies  .

Trouble with following his cues is that other than the falling asleep while BFing at 4 hr A time he has no tired cues at all.  The boy would just keep playing and playing all day.  Sometimes he's fussy and wants a cuddle but otherwise he'll just keep going and going. 

Tomorrow DH and I are having a vow renewal service at 4:30 pm and we even planned it specifically at that time as we figured Aaron wouldn't need a nap at that time and we could still get him to bed for 7:30.  So unfortunately tomorrow has to be a 1 nap day no matter what time he WU or long he naps  .  I think tomorrow we'll do 11:30 set nap unless Aaron wakes silly early and then we'd possibly be able to fit the CN in before 4:30 (?).  I've accepted that he'll just end up OT tomorrow, unless he mega naps as we won't be able to get him to bed before 7:00 at best.  However, on Monday I'll do the 1st (and hopefully only) nap after 4hr A and hope he pulls off a wonder-Eva 3 hr nap  . I'll see how that goes and go from there. 

[jenn1975]

Hi there. I'm just popping in and I have missed all the history here with your son, but I just thought I'd give you what worked for our son at that age. Almost a year ago already. He's now 23 mos.

At age 12 mos we tried going to one nap....yeah, he wasn't able to cope. But two were too many and I wanted to lose my mind, much like you're saying. He never fit into any one method.

So finally after trial and error we did this...
Didn't allow more than 11-11:20 hrs of night sleep.
First nap at the normal time but I never let him go longer than one hour.
Second nap approx 3-3.5 hrs later for only an hour so it wasn't too close to BT.
BT approx 3-4 hrs after second nap.

This worked for almost 5 months until that second nap kept getting later and later or refused and then WU became 5:30am. Then we knew he had to go to one nap.

It was a tough 2 week 2-1 transition but it was night and day how much more he was ready at that age then he had been at 12mos.

My idea was just to spread his sleep evenly by my own doing rather than let him do it on his own. I did have to set my alarm and wake him in the am. I felt bad waking him from both naps but he did well with it.
It bought us some time until his body was truly ready for one nàp.

Don't know if that will help but I hope so! I feel your pain!

[Joy-filled]

I'm at a loss as to what to do and would appreciate some direction.  I aimed for 4 hr A time today and he still OT short napped and needed me to rock him back to sleep!  Unfortunately we didn't get a 3 hr miracle Eva nap, though.  Here's the last few days:

Sat (tried for 11:30 set nap)
WU 6:50
A 4 hr 48
S 11:38-12:11 (33 min), rocked slept 12:21-12:57 (36 min)
A 3 hr 33
S 4:30-4:55 (woke after 25 min, nap in the car)
A 2 hr 47
BT 7:42 (PD at 7:15) - Several NWs but none more than 15 min.  WU 6:30 rocked to sleep 6:38-6:25 - total sleep 10.5 hrs

Sun - set nap 11:30
WU 6:52
A 4 hr 51 (PD at 11:25 but took 20 min to fall asleep)
S 11:43 - 12:51 (1 hr 8 min) rocked him for 45 min as no option for a CN today and BT had to be 7:00 or later, but he just wouldn't fall back asleep
A 6 hr 20
BT 7:10 (crashed so only 2 brief NWs .

Today so far
- aimed for 4 hr A time and hoping for a mega nap
WU 6:35
A 4 hr 13 (PD at 3 hr 52 but rolled, stood, head stands, etc. for 20 min)
S 10:48-11:15 (27 min ), rocked and he slept 25 min, woke for 5, slept another 40 awake 12:35

Will try a CN in the car today.  Apparently he is so OT that even 4 hrs was too much for him today?  I'm also quite concerned about the rocking nap prop I have clearly become.  Aaron starts daycare in a few weeks and I have no idea what we are going to do.  He can't be rocked to extend his nap and he can't be driven around for the pm nap nor can she let him scream and scream for a pm nap in his playpen as it will traumatize everyone including the other 2 kids at the daycare.

Thoughts on what to do in the meantime though?  Should I pull back again tomorrow and aim for 4 hr A time and once again hope he mega naps on his own?

(By the way, thanks for the input jenn1975 but unfortunately I'm not sure that would work for my DS.  He has taken 20-30 min pm naps since he was 6 months old regardless of am nap length and regardless of A times.  The worst part was that it was regularly preceded by great resistance (aka screaming).  His A times were also getting to the point where 2 nap days resulted in worse OTness as there was so much A time in the day to fit the 2 naps in that he would get OT....have multiple NWs so get 10.5 hr less hrs of night sleep and it was just not good.  The only reason we've pushed the 2-1 early is because it has seemed like the only option for him )

[Joy-filled]

I don't know.  Maybe he hasn't been in an UT/OT loop all these past 6 months and he was just actually simply OT all the time and his A times were too high and bumping wasn't the answer?  Bumping really didn't work, sometimes it would work for a day or a few but then we'd be right back where we were and he'd keep short napping and having poor nights.  I don't know.  I'm really at a loss as to why things have been so bad for so long and nothing has worked.  Maybe it would be worth trying to put him on 2 naps again but with lower A times?  Wouldn't have a clue what A times to use though and maybe it would uselessly and unsuccessfully just prolong the 2-1 transition and make all of this silliness go on even longer? Or maybe he's crazy LSN?

I just don't know.  What do people honestly think?

[Eva's Mummy]

Oh honey i really feel for you. For what its worth i would pull right back to 3.5 - 4hrs tomorrow if he takes a short 30 min nap i would not rock then put down for a pm nap after 3hrs - 3hrs 15 something like that.

As for the daycare i wouldn't worry about what you can't control. You might find he sleeps better there as he wll be more stimulated during the day then you would just do EBT where needed x

[jessmum46]

Just thoughts here, no magic answer I'm afraid  but what we did at this age (as two naps wasn't working for us either) was nap 11.30, BT 6pm.  I honestly think nap 12, BT 7.30 is quite a push for a young LO trying on one nap, J couldn't have handled it at all (pretty much only just managing that now at nearly 20m), but they are all different

Nap here when we did that was less than two hours for several weeks and she was OT, there were NWs.  But it did slowly improve over time.  I went as early as 5.30pm BT on a couple of occasions when the nap was crazy short.  Never later than set times though, only earlier by 15 mins for nap and 30 for BT.  Didn't wake her in the morning or from nap unless it hit 3h.  And then once things stabilised very slowly worked to a later BT.

Worth a shot?  Scary I know, those BTs are early (especially if your LO hasn't tacked much in the past), but the 2-1 is when many who didn't tack previously will start doing so if you're brave enough to try early enough

[Eva's Mummy]

Char i know you are scared of EBT as Aaron doesn't tack on but i have had great advice from Katherine and i would give it a go. Possibly your EBT's havent worked as they have not been early enough and he is still OT at BT. If i remember right EBT for you has still been after a 12hr + day hasn't it?

At home we nap between 11-11:30 and at CM's its more 12:20 but she makes up for it with longer,earlier naps when she is home.

[Joy-filled]

Yes I am scared of EBT as Aaron doesn't tack and we got into a 6:00-5/5:30 rut for a good while in the past so I'm afraid of that happening again as I am so very tired from a year of NWs.  But I do think that's what got us into trouble here.  I was doing a 12:00 set nap and 7:30 BT regardless of nap length and I think that's why he got so crazy OT.  Perhaps I should've done 11:30/12;00 set nap and 6:00/6:30 BT.

6:00 BT will not be possible when I go back to work but that isn't for another month so maybe I could do it in until then?  It's just too bad as DH will barely get to see Aaron...but maybe we could push it later after a bit.  Can I do 12:00 set nap and 6:30 set BT? Or is that a bad idea?

Katherine, what time did J usually get up or was it all over the place?

[HenaV]

Hey Char,

EBT is really scary but just looking back at the trouble you've been having, I'd definitely take Katherine's advice. Its certainly worth a shot isn't it?


Hena

[jessmum46]

Once we'd settled into it a bit then it was usually close to 7am couldn't believe how long the nights were, it didn't last, but it was like her body just needed to get that sleep in somehow until she could properly manage the longer A times for one nap.  V occasionally if she woke at 5.30ish I would go for a drive at 9/9.30am, let her have 20 mins then go for a nap between 12/12.30.  Those days weren't great but we muddled through them and got back on track the next day.  I pushed to set nap (-15 mins) on a 6am WU or later x