10.5 month old likes solids more than bm and has for quite some time

[lyndsy_p]

Ughhh I want to throw that pump out the window!

Some history: Got AF when dd was 7.5 months and every time AF comes along, or teeth are coming in, or the moon is in orbit (lol) she refuses the breast. Or cries at the breast because my letdown is so slow. I have taken fenugreek and it's helped a bit. I do compressions, I pump and then put her on (sometimes this works). It would last 5-10 days.

During our first bout of this I pumped and gave her a bottle if she outright refused, which she took happily. I have been pumping since she was 4 weeks old, and dh has been giving ebm every couple of days so that I could work. I am so worried about her weight. My first drank soooo much more.

So now every 10 days or so we go through this where she won't drink from the breast and I feel like $hit because my letdowns slow or because I am resentful of pumping. And right now I think we have been in more than 10 days of this and I am just so over it.

 I really, really, really really really don't want to give her formula.

So my question is: can I just give her whole cows milk, please, tell me it's ok. I am dying over here. I am sick of pumping when she refuses, is it possible that she just doesn't like breast feeding (sad sad face).

Her schedule:

630 or 7am bf (or ebm 3-6oz if she refuses)

8am breakfast: yogurt mixed with oatmeal

11 or 1130 lunch of pasta or some of my sandwich or toast with cream cheese (really whatever we're having) fruit

1 or 130 bf (or ebm 3-6oz  if she refuses)

330 or 4 snack: baby mum mum, fruit

6 supper: whatever we are having, carb, veg, meat

7 or 715 bf or ebm 3-6oz  if I am working

Sleeps through

Thanks in advance,
Lyndsy

[bluehour]

I wouldn't give her all cows milk just yet. What about an alternative like goat (supposed to be closest to human milk)? Homemade almond? If you can pump a bit longer  Can you hide more BF in her food, like make oatmeal with it? Or why not give it to her in a sippy cup, if she likes those?   Is the issue with the milk or with feeding?

[Fiver]

You might have tried it already, but what happens if you switch the lunch and lunchtime BF around so the BF is 11/1.30 and the food later and then offering a BF at the snack time?  I just wonder whether at those times she might be more hungry and more willing to take the breast.

Also, have you tried taking a calcium/magnesium supplement around ovulation?  More details on that and dosages here - http://www.motherandchildhealth.com/Breastfeeding/Becky/menstruation.html  It's meant to go some way to helping with dips in supply at menstruation, so might be worth a go for that.

Without the go ahead of your doctor/HV, I wouldn't want to advise switching straight to cow's milk.

[*Ali*]

You need to check with your doctor if you want to give any milk other than breast or formula as no other milks have the right balance of nutrients that she needs until after 12mo. She needs the fats and iron which are just not there in cows milk or other milks. Here in the UK we are recommended not to give any other milk as a drink before 12mo even alongside breast or formula and definitely not instead of those. 
Why dont you want to give formula if you don't mind me asking? 
Personally I would persevere until she is old enough to make the switch to cows milk but of course that is easier said than done.

Hugs

Posted with amanda.

[lyndsy_p]

Thank you ladies for the help.

Fiver I was initially feeding that way until recently, as she was totally uninterested in nursing after waking from her first nap. She wouldn't even lay in my lap.

I didn't want to drop that feed as clearly she is too young so I switched it. She wants to drink milk at the 1 or 130 time, she just doesn't want it from the breast most days. Truly as I type this I feel like my letdown is the issue. She will take 2 sucks and cry, then I switch her to the next boob, same thing. Sometimes 4 cycles of both boobs. We do this almost every time we nurse whether it's successful or not. If she won't latch, that's when I pump. Ughhh!

Thanks for the link on the calcium/mag supplement. I will try that.

Ali, I bf'ed my first until 13 months, and I know it's best.  I know that bf'ing doesn't work for everyone but I think formula is crap. Man made crap! I don't mean to offend anyone, but those are just my views. We have made it this far I am not about to go to it now when I only have 2 months to go. I will keep on and continue to pump. Then I will smash that pump on the pavement with a sledgehammer.

Lyndsy

[Fiver]

Then I will smash that pump on the pavement with a sledgehammer.

I think a lot of ladies have that sort of relationship with their pump after a while!!

I know it's easier said than done, but I just wonder whether you're feeling a bit anxious about your letdown not coming so quickly and either she's picking up on it and not wanting to latch, or the anxiety itself is coming full spiral and thus causing it to come slowly, so perhaps some positive thinking and relaxation type thing might be helpful.  And yes, I know it's really hard.  I started quite early on trying to "train" my body to letdown - so having some other physical thing that I did that almost caused, in the end, a letdown to happen, like a trigger action.  So to start with, when I did letdown, I did that action and then eventually it would work the other way round.  I know that sounds a bit weird, and it might not work trying to start it at 10m, but it was effective for a good while.  Might be worth a go?

[lyndsy_p]

I agree I am anxious about it for sure. I don't even go out when it's time to nurse because I am afraid that I can't do it without the pump or she may not even feed at all!

I have tried to be calm....When we sit down to nurse I try to think of the actual milk coming out, but I can't close my eyes so it's hard to visualize. I am curious what your physical thing that you do is?

Today at her 130 feed she was uninterested until she saw the pump for crying out loud! Like she's yelling "don't take my milk, pump".

Lyndsy

[Fiver]

Oh bless you both!! Since you're interested, what I did was pelvic floor exercises!!! Figured they needed doing anyway and meant some got done LOL. Did sort of backfire from time to time when I did them when I wasn't feeding, though.

You can pick your own thing though.

[*Ali*]

I've never used it for letdown but have used the physical cue for other things like relaxation and avoiding food cravings. I pressed my thumb and middle fingers together or pinched the flap of skin between my thumb and index finger. 

[lyndsy_p]

Thank you both! Very helpful.

We successfully nursed at the morning feed (this one is the most common without the pump) AND THE 1pm feed! Didn't need the pump!!!!! I just kept being calm and I guess it worked?!

[Fiver]

Hoorah!  Onwards and upwards!