How in the world...

[av8rx]

My son is 10 weeks come Monday.  I was naturally following EASY, but have never figured out the S part.  Apparently I've instilled some bad habits already. Getting him to sleep is literally a full time and very unsuccessful job.  After a 10-minute feed, we are active until I see sleep signals, then we check/change his diaper, go to the pack-n-play or crib depending on time if day (pack-n-play mornings so DH can get some sleep as he works late, then back to crib after noon when he leaves for onsite work).  I sing a lullaby or turn on a recorded one, swaddle, and sit with him.  If he's not overtired (first nap attempt of the day), a gentle bounce here and there and he begins to drop off.  I stay with him at least 20 minutes, he sleeps only 30 and wakes, and I can't seem to help him fall right back or keep him from crying without picking him up.  I spend half an hour gently and intermittently bouncing and shushing him (patting makes him fuss) until he drops off again.  If I lay him down before he's very asleep, he cries.  Another 20-30 minute nap if I'm lucky, and it's time for the next feed.  As the day goes on, he get more and more difficult to lay down for a nap.  When I refuse try not to pick him up and instead lean over the crib and shush him, he cries so hard that he chokes and sometimes vomits.  Incidentally he does this in his car seat now, too, so I no longer go anywhere I can't walk to.    We do a 5pm-ish feed, walk to the beach and sometimes take a dip if it's calm (sometimes he catnaps in his carrier on the way home), a 7:30-ish feed, bath and the usual wind-down, and bounce to sleep around 8:30-ish.  He wakes to feed twice at random times, and wakes for the day around 5:30-6am.  Since he almost never naps longer than 30 minutes, 20 of which I'm by his side, I end up spending 9-midnight either running my tail off trying to catch up on laundry and dishes (forget actually cleaning) or stuffing my face with anything I can find since I haven't had time to eat all day.  I'm exhausted and not sure what to do.  Help!

[Ima shel Alon]

Hugs, sweetie, it sounds like things are difficult.
Could you post a day in an EASY format? It will help us look at his A times to think what can be done with naps.

I know that many mommies will disagree with me and that's ok, but I found extending naps very stressful that I just didn't do it. How long can one stay in a dark room with a screaming baby without losing it?
Just take it under consideration that you don't have to extend naps, you can also offer a shorter A time after a short nap.
The other thing is that it really is ok to bounce or use whatever AP that works for you at this age. You are not "breaking" you baby. I actually found that sleep training was easier when DS was older, despite what Tracey wrote in her book.
If it makes you feel better we had all naps in the pram till 4m old because it was the only place I knew I get a proper nap out of him.

[av8rx]

His A times are all over the place, as are nap and sleep lengths.  He usually nurses for just about 10 minutes, and rarely takes more than a pull or 2 off the 2nd breast when offered.  While he generally sleeps well at night, when we do get a 5-7 hour stretch it will be 8pm-2am, so I've just begun trying to rouse him to dreamfeed earlier and maybe shift his longer sleep a little later.  Thursday and Friday nights I tried to wake him at around 11pm.  Last night I tried 10pm.  He is so asleep that this doesn't happen any of the 3 nights.  Here's our weekend so far... Friday night he slept
8pm-12, when he woke to feed and went back down easily and slept
12:30-3am - fed again, no A time given but he fussed and I ended up bouncing him to sleep
4:15-5am - I'm really tired so I pull him into bed with me to nurse side-lying.  He naps again
5:30-6am.  Now we're up for the day.  To reset his EASY I nurse him again at 6:15 and he's up til
7:45-9:15 - a good nap (finally!).  Nursed again at 9:30, and we have A time until
10:45-11:30.  His pedi recommended stretching his feeds closer to 3 hours apart, so rather than feed him on waking we play a while and finally he feeds again at 12.  We play a bit more, and though he yawns and we bounce quietly, swaddled, with soft lullaby music on, he doesn't sleep, but he gets very fussy and really wants to feed again so I nurse him again at 1.  Short A time after this feed, mostly just carrying him in his wrap so he's upright after feeding but not very stimulated with toys and play since he's been up a while.  I make lunch, he gets drowsy, and he finally naps again at
2-3pm.  Again I try to space the feeds, and we have tummy time play until he feeds at 3:45.  He's falling asleep at the breast and I rouse him.  Once awake he's wide awake, and I think possibly OT.  I give him another cluster feed at 5:45.  He catnaps
7-7:30.  Cluster feed by bottle again at 7:30, and we have our nighttime routine (bath, pj's, quiet story attempt (too tired and fussy), swaddle, and bounce softly with lullabies until he's out around
8:45-12:45am.  Dreamfeed.  Sleeps
1-4am.  Dreamfeed.  Sleeps
4-5am.  He's wide awake and grunting like he's working out some gas, and I can tell he's on the verge of getting upset. He's wet, and seems he must have spit up too as his collar is soaked.  We get up and have a change.  He's up for the day, and has a long feed (both breasts) at 5:15.  We have A time and he finally gets tired at 7, so I start to wind him down, swaddle and he falls asleep at
7:15-8am.  He just woke up to potty.

[Ima shel Alon]

He is so asleep that this doesn't happen any of the 3 nights.

The DF (dream feed) is actually done while baby is still sleeping so it's great that he doesn't wake up. Just pick him up and feed.

Looking at your EASY it seems that he is doing really LONG A times. He is 10 weeks, right? And doing around 1:45h A times? That's a lot... It's an A time more appropriate to a 4m old.
At his age he should be doing 1:15-1.5h A time, not more than that, so I would work on shortening his A times and see if it helps with him falling asleep and staying asleep for his naps. Hopefully it will also make the early morning better and he won't start his day so early.