Can't get it right! 20 months, bedtime resistance

[jessmum46]

So I just can't get Js sleep right at all at the moment    Main issue is with bedtime refusal, taking up to an hour to go to sleep.  Nap isn't a problem and she will self-settle in 5-10 mins.  The day looks like:

WU ~ 6.30
Nap 12ish (+/- 15 mins) for 1h-1h15 on nursery days and up to 2h at home (I cap)
BT 6.45/7pm but taking until 7.30/8pm to sleep - rolling around, chatting, occasional callbacks for lovey
At least one NW . Usually short and easily resettled

Yesterday:
WU 6.30
Nap 11.40-12.55 at nursery
BT 18.45 settled by 19.20ish
Brief moan at 2am and brief NW at 5am

Today:
WU 6.30
Nap 12.15-14.10 (woke herself)
BT 19.00 asleep 20.00


Part of it is 2y molars which isn't helping but I do medicate and the only difference it seems to make is that we get an overall more settled night with fewer early NWs.  Meds don't seem to affect how she settles at BT though so I assume that's a routine thing   We've been on this routine for ages now and if anything naps are actually better than previously now she's used to nursery.

I started capping nap at 2h thinking UT.  Certainly the one day last week where I fell asleep and she had a nearly 3h nap it took her until 9pm to settle for bed!  My impression is she has overall better nights on shorter nap days, but with some OT NWs.  On longer nap days she takes a longer time to settle and we get a short night.

So do I:
(1) assume she needs a longer awake time post-nap and push BT later (not hugely keen on this)?
(2) cap her nap shorter?
(3) push her nap later on days at home? (though I think I'd prefer consistency for her which means following the nursery times)

Or am I way off and is this OT that I'm just not seeing? 

(Edited as I pressed post midway through typing )

[TB9]

I found that whenever I got resistance it was because I put down for bed too early by half the amount of time she resisted for.  So if my dd aas putting up a 1hr fight I would first try pushing her bedtime back by 30min.  Does that make sense?

I always found medicating before bed caused more trouble because with that nagging pain gone she all of a sudden had bundles of energy, lol.

[jessmum46]

Hmmm Tink that would give us a 13h day on a 2h nap and a 12.5h day on a 1h15 nap based on last two days.....I guess that's about right isn't it?  12.5-13h sleep in 24h??  Can't hurt to try I guess though I prefer a 7pm BT........what do you think about the alternatives of moving nap later or capping further? (Or both?)

Am starting to get the distinct impression that this LO isn't going to be one who still wants to nap at school age LOL!

[TB9]

Capping never worked well for dd1, so I always just pushed bedtime, even if it meant shorter nights. I reserved the pushing nap option for when she was resisting the nap

[Aishi]

Hugs Katherine. Can't offer much else cos were in the exact same boat re BT resistance and taking an hr to fall asleep she also takes e 5-10 min for naps except today which was 30 min but I think it for nap...

Will def try tinkerbells suggestion of pd later for BT...maybe its all ut and I've been thinking SR lol

Also for my dd 1-1.5h nap is ot so BT would usually be at least less than 5hr...but ATM can't see wood for trees

Let me know if you figure it out xx

[Buttonbobs]

Popping on to see how you're doing.

We did pushing BT later for a fair while and then that stopped working so we moved nap earlier again as that has really helped. But we were on a 2/2.30pm nap on a 7am ish WU and 8/30-9ish BT so now the nap is back to 1.15/30ish things are a lot better

[ZacsMumme]

At this age I also found pushing the nap a touch later actually made Z more tired for the rest of the day. Yu could try pushing the nap to 12.30 (we were at this or even closer to 1 by this age) and keep capping at 2 hrs. Then keep BT the same and see if it helps.

For some reason I never thought this would work, but when I did it, it did. Something about the longer A time overall making them more tired ... Also helped with Z sleeping in later x

[*Becky*]

Martha did a 13.5 hour day with a 2 hour nap and just recently we capped at 1.5 hours and she does a 13 hour day....not sure if that helps but my feeling is either keep the nap at 2 hours and allow for a later BT or cap the nap at 1.5. I think if it were me I would do the first option but only because M hates being woken and gets OT v easily. H did much better with nap capping and tacked onto his nights x

[amateursuch]

No advice as like Aishi, am in exactly the same boat. So frustrating isn't it. And I also get not wanting to push bedtime back too far, especially when you've got another LO.

It was definitely UT for us for a bit so we pushed the last A quite a lot which helped at first but we've now got accumulated OT, so are having to pull back. Ugh.

[Aishi]

Hi. Thought you may like to know dd woke at 5.50 and I pd for nap after 6 h a at 11.50 and dd is still asleep! I had to resettle at 1.30. I will wake by 2.50 if she's not up. Thanks Sara! That was a great idea! Any idea on what time to pd for BT??!  (Sorry for hijacking katherine?!) xx

[jessmum46]

Thanks for all the support and ideas

So after short NWs at midnight and 5am today has been:

WU 6.30
Nap 12.25ish - 14.30 (with a resettle at 1h - I'm pretty sure teeth as her hand was right in the back of her mouth)
BT 19.20 settled 19.45

Right direction do you think? 

[*happy*]

fingers crossed for you katherine...xxx

[*Becky*]

looks good to me x

[ZacsMumme]

Aishi not sure how old your LO is, but at 20 months after a long nap like that I had to push BT a bit later, so add 30 mins onto usual BT. If I pushed the nap a little later and kept the cap at 2 hrs (or even a bit less) our BT stayed the same as before moving the nap later.

Ie WU 7
Nap 1-3
BT 7-7.30 Where before would have been nap 12.30-2.30 with same BT, but later nap made him more tired.

I think at this age I temp made the nap a bit shorter as he was in a leap. Once that passed I put it back up to 2hrs for a bit.

Good luck Catherine

[Aishi]

Thanks Sara. That's good to know for ref! Fwiw I pd dd at 7 and she just lay quietly (as oppose to usually babbling) she was asleep by 7.30 sttn and wu 6.20 so 14h TS! Which is what she was doing before getting so ot...