One step forward..two steps back and desperate to get some sleep

[MrsBakesALot]

Ok - it would seem that our days are improving and our nights...well, lets just say I could set a clock by my LOs NW.

So yesterday our day was...

0600 E - Wake up and BF followed by...
        A - snuggles and stories in bed with me.
0700 E - Porridge
        A
0900 S - Went down in his cot quite happily, room was darkened and he was snuggly.
1100 E - Wake up and BF
         A
1200 E - Veggie puree with pasta stars
         A - we went out at 12.30 to an afternoon playgroup
1400 S - His cues were obvious, i wrapped him in a blanket and put him in the pram and he was asleep in 2 minutes. I was amazed and happily went on to give DS1 some much needed attention and thought "yes, its working"
1440 E - Wake up (thanks to the pram being jumped on and screamed at by another child...oh well) and BF
        A
1640 S - He was so ratty and screaming that I dimmed the room, put him in his cot and stroked his face and he fell asleep...it took about 10 minutes though
1720 Wake up
1730 E - Dinner time - First chicken and veggie puree (I am following anabelle karmels book as I did for DS1)
1800 A - Bath time and wind down
1830 E - 8 oz formula
1900 S - Bed time...he was happy to go down but it took about half an hour to settle him as I was on my own (OH working late this week...its an exception though) and DS1 kept wanting to help shh him

His first NW at 11pm but that was just, I lost my dummy and sneezed myself awake it took less than 5 minutes to sort him out. Then it was 1am, I BF and he went back down in 20 minutes. Next NW was 2 hours later, 3.20 to 3.30 where I just cuddled and gave him his dummy back and held his hands. Finally 5.20 he woke again, I did a quick BF and then he settled after some screaming between coming off the boob and taking the dummy (normal for him)  So far today has been....

0645 E - Wake up but no BF as he had fed an hour before.
0715 E - Porridge
        A - He went into the pram at 9am as we were going out for a walk
0930 S
1045 Wake up...and I haven't BF'd yet as he woke up smiling and is currently playing on the floor with his brother, and given that I wouldn;t BF until after a 2 hour nap I am going to hold out.

So there we have it. It seems that the mornings are getting better, the afternoons still need work as he doesnt seem to get in one good nap so I end up with cat naps and the night times...well, the first 6 hours seems to be fine, its just the 2nd half of the night that doesnt seem to work. If we could get away with one waking with BF then fine, but it seems that I am doomed not to sleep more than 2 hours!!!!

******************
OK, so its now 10 minutes after 7pm and Daniel has been asleep for half an hour and we had an almost perfect afternoon.

1115 E - BF
        A
1215 E  - Veggies and pasta
        A
1315 S - He did wake up after 45 minutes but I refused to accept the presence of that particular monster so I boobed him back to sleep, it took less than 5 minutes!
1500 E - Wake up and BF
        A
1630 E- BF
        A
1730 E - Dinner of cauliflower, brocoli, potato and cheesy sauce
1800 A - Bath and wind down (massage etc)
1830 E - 8oz of formula
1835 S - Down to bed and then sleeping 5 minutes later. I really feel that the end of our day is the most constant amongst what I do.

Let me know your thoughts.x

[jessmum46]

(((Hugs))), the NWs are hard . I do think they will improve when you get a little more consistency in the day and once he isn't reliant so much on you/the paci for settling to sleep (or at least to replug it himself).  Lots of practice in the daytime

How are you getting on with trying to stick to a consistent first A time?

[MrsBakesALot]

Afternoon - we are just coming out of 10 days of cold/cough yuckyness but bar an initall rubbish few days we seem to be doing really well.

At the moment our first A time is always 3 hours, so if Daniel is up at 5.30...his first nap is 8.30 or if he is up at 6.30 then its 9.30...it has really been great to establish that. And I have also been consistent with subsequent A times being 3 hours regardless of length of nap...sometimes our first nap is a sneaky 45 mins nap if we are out and about or if we are at home its from 1.5 to 2 hours which is great...if I dont get the long nap in the morning it will come in the afternoon so I am happier that it is getting more predictable. I also feel that I understand his signals much better - especially when he gets over tired and so am more confident that when I put him down he will sleep

As for his NW...I can still set my clock by him 1 am, 3am and then 5.30 - 6am.  The 1am I tend to still BF and also the 5.30 or 6 as that is the start of our day but the 3am I can now just pick up, calm him, put him down with his glow light and he will resettle himself which is great.  Its a long road and the cold really didnt help but I know that it can't last forever....there will come a point when he will sleep, I just don't know when it will be.

[jessmum46]

Really glad you have seen some improvements

Is there any way you can avoid the picking up at the non-feed NWs and try to withdraw your presence a touch more?  It sounds like although he is settling himself once down he is relying on you being there.  How about just trying to calm him with touch/voice in the cot then gradually reducing that and moving away?

[MrsBakesALot]

I guess the biggest problem with his night wakings is the fact that he shares a room with his toddler brother, and whilst he doesnt generally wake up when Daniel cries I guess I tend to step in to get the quickest and quietest result...again, its down to me not helping things. I am loath to move the cot back into our room though as its been so much easier to go to bed/sleep without having a child in there (first time in 2 years!)

Will definately start trying the touch/pat and using the star projection (which he loves) and reducing it.

We had a near perfect EASY day yesterday but it was followed by a most rubbish night...fussing at 9.30, 10.30, awake at 11.45 until 1.30, awake again at 3 for half an hour and again fussing at 5 (but he did stay asleep until 7)...he is snuffly again so I do think its the back end of this cold that isn't helping. Todays EASY has started well and he is currently down for first nap and I have even managed a shower and hair wash whilst my toddler sat on the closed loo and read stories to me!

Tonight is another night!

[jessmum46]

How did it go?

That many wakings at night does sound like either discomfort from the cold or prop problems really.  I know it's hard with another sibling in the room but I suspect if you can bite the bullet and withdraw your assistance somewhat the night wakings will likely decrease significantly x

[MrsBakesALot]

Hi Katherine...I have been meaning to post a reply for a few days but end up ridiculously busy when ever I have a free moment.  We have a long road ahead of us but we are making some progress, especially as I now know all our night feeds (and the wakings) are definitely habit rather than hunger

Night 1 = fusses at 9.30pm, 10.30pm and 12 all of which I replugged with his dummy and shhhed/patted in the cot. I fed a 3am and 5 am and he got up at 6.30am

Night 2 = fusses at 10pm and 12 (12 I had to pick up before replugging as I didnt get there quick enough and he got angry) at 3am he fussed and again at 3.15, 3.30 and 3.50 but I stuck with it and didnt feed and then he slept till 5.30 when I fed and then sleep again until 7am

Night 3 = Fuss at 11 and was unsettled but half asleep for an hour, fuss at 3.30 and then fed at 5.30 but he didnt go back to sleep so our easy started early

Night 4 = Woke up 12pm until 2am (think more to do with cough/cold) and I held off feeding for 90 minutes but then relented. Fed again at 5.30 am

Night 5....it all went horribly wrong as he is really not well from cough/cold and I fed him more than I had been doing so probably back to square 1....but at least I know the feeding definitly isnt a necessity.

Will seee how the next few nights go

[jessmum46]

How is he doing?  Any better?  (((Hugs))) these things always come along right when we want to get sleep sorted out x

[MrsBakesALot]

Major huge break through thanks to some rather drastic measures after a hard look at the ABCs...and I realised the reason he took so long to settle was not just my picking him up but pacing through to the lounge (room next door to the boys as we are in a flat) as I didn't want Daniel to wake Gabriel...he would settle in the lounge but then I would stand up, walk back to the boys room and put him down and pretty much disturb him again.

So this week, having been to the Docs on Monday to get some anti biotics (chest infection) I told Jayson that we would put the boys to bed as usual but that when it came to bedtime for us, I would move Gabriel into our bed so that I wouldnt be worrying about Gabriel waking up as/when Daniel cried so I could do more to settle him in his his room/cot. We have continued with this all week and I have been so pleased with our progress...

Monday night: BT at 6.30. He fussed at 9.30 and 12.30 for which I replugged the dummy but he woke 1.55am until 3.15...i did pick him up when he got very upset to calm him and then put him back down again and just let him lay awake in the cot patting him and shhing. He then slept until 6.10am when he woke up and fed for 25minutes which was great as usually it would just be 10 minutes as he had so many "snacks" in the night.

Tuesday night: BT at 6.40. Fuss at 9.30ish and about 1am and again woke up at 2.15am but settled quickly, he then fussed every 15 minutes until 3.30am when he really screamed so I picked up for 2 minutes, calmed him, and he went down and slept until 6 am

Wednesday night: BT at 6.30. Extreme out of the blue wailing at 8.30. Fuss and replugged at 00.30am and the same at 2.45am...didnt hear from him again until 6.10!!!!

Thursday night...a bit of a back track, I put him to bed at 6.40 but then went out to a friends so I could have some me time and do some knitting and husband said he didnt properly settle so he put Gabriel to bed and brought Daniel out into the lounge and he fell asleep being cuddled by Dad (grrr) and then he fussed at 11.55pm and woke up at 1.50 until 3.15 but I kept him in his cot for the most part (bar the odd pick up to sooth) He then woke up at 5.55am for feed and we started our easy.

I guess the big thing I have noticed this week when he has been awake is that he is rolling onto his side in his sleep now and tending to wake when he either rolls onto his tummy or suddenly (through being relaxed?) onto his back. I have rolled up some blankets under his sheet to bolster him so he can no longer go on his tummy but it doesnt stop the other way.  He is so difficult to settle with his hands free...he does this whole waving thing and when on his side he runs his hands up and down the cot bars and just over excites himself, I  dont know how to help calm him?

Thank you for the continued hugs and support...it means a hell of a lot!

[jessmum46]

Great progress, keep it up!

For us when DDs arms were really flailing it was usually that she was OT and therefore her movements were quite jerky and uncontrolled. You could try just gently holding his upper arms close to his body to see if that helps calm him?

With the rolling thing - it's a stage that most LOs go through and for us once DD learned to roll onto her tummy it caused about a week of disturbed sleep.  After that though she found that sleeping on her tummy was actually a really comfy position and tends to sleep that way even now.  It's up to you if you want to try and limit his movements but sometimes just letting them work out how to get comfy on their own can actually help

[MrsBakesALot]

More progress made this week...Gabriel is back in his room with Daniel and I am back in my bed! It is definately great to be off the sofa. We have been able to do this as it would seem that the 2 hour + night time parties have stopped (well, none since last week) and I have found that barring a sleepy poo (had one last night) I can get Daniel back to sleep by replugging and patting his back.That said, most of the night he doesnt have the dummy in, so I think that once we get back from our trip to South Africa in December I will look at removing the dummy but I am loath to do it before we fly while he is still under 1.

The wakings and fussing also seem to be starting to reduce in frequency but are not yet consistenly decreasing...Monday we had 4, Tuesday was 5, last night was an 11.30 nappy change but it only took 15 minutes to get him back to sleep and then 2 further fusses at 2.12 and 4.28 and WU was at 5.40 so he has just gone back down for his nap after 3 hours up.

As for the rolling, that seems to have calmed down a bit, he tends to get off to sleep best on his side and then rolls back onto his back but will now move from one to the other in his sleep without waking up which is great.

I have tried the holding to help with the flailing and yes it does work to help when he is very stressed and needs calming.

Finally I am just finding it all much more predicable now his EASY is better established, we tend to do 3 hours A, 1.5 hours S in the morning followed by an A of up to 4 hours (mostly due to toddlers routine and Daniel being uber interested in what his big brother is doing) to about 2.30/3.00pm for an hours S and then he is awake until BT and it really seems to be working.

It's great to see the progress he is making and to be able to be more positive about the situation