Hello and welcome to BW!
The first days are always hard but you need to be consistent with him so he can learn the new routine.
Having said that, I notice you mention a couple of times that you feel bad being with him but 'not touching him or holding him'. Well, if he is distressed, you should comfort him, don't feel obliged not to. You want to teach him, gently, how to get to sleep in the cot. You can hold him til he's drowsy and then try putting him down. It's a matter of working with him.
I'm also wondering if your LO is maybe spirited or touchy? Sh-pat usually has to be adapted for these babies - so maybe back rubbing rather than patting, humming rather than shushing. You can play around with it and find what works for him.
This link has basically all the how-tos in it, it may help!
Starting EASY - all you need to know and more!