Hello,
I have two problems: Naps and Night time sleeping.
A couple of weeks ago, my son (3 months old today) started waking up multiple times in the night (not because of hunger). Before he would sleep about 2.5-4hrs at night then wake up to feed. So eventually out of desperation for sleep, I brought him into our bed (I know this is not what the baby whisperer recommends). Worked like a charm, he fell right back to sleep, but the problem is I sleep a lot lighter and don't feel that rested in the mornings. So I started looking up sleep training methods. I just got Tracy's book and agree with her methods (most of which I have already been doing without knowing a name for them) but I still have some questions on exactly how to go about things.
Details on Sylas (Baby)
Age: 3 Months (13 weeks), but he is a premie, adjusted age is 8.5 Weeks.
Routine: He is on about a 3hr E.A.S.Y routine (We have been doing this since birth w/o knowing the term) that can vary 30 min or so depending on his mood (if he seems hungry earlier I feed him, or if hes sleeping I let him sleep). His days starts around 6-7 and he is in his crib for bed between 7-9. He used to only be able to stay awake for about 45 min but in the last week or so he seems to be extending that to 1hr 15min b4 the first sign of being tired. The last few days his total sleep has really dropped (about 10.5-13hrs in a 24hr period) and I know most of our problems are b/c he is overtired but I don't know how to get him back on schedule.
Naps: As soon as he yawns we start to calm down playing and by the second yawn I pick him up calmly and start winding down for a nap. My method is to hold him over my shoulder and I normally give him a pacifier to calm him down. It usually takes another 30 min or more for him to fall asleep (The good days I can just sit quietly holding him). Some days he fights falling asleep and we can work on going to sleep for over an hour. During this period I have tried every method: singing, shush/pat, music, rocking, changing positions, going outside/another room. Most of the time he is in and out of sleep (one second I think he's almost out, the next he's fidgeting then crying), the bad naps he screams and is inconsolable (no method seems to work till all of a sudden something does). He is not hungry, and doesn't need a diaper change. Once he is finally asleep I either let him sleep on my chest (which keeps him asleep longer) or I can move him to his crib or packnplay (he naps on his stomach, I know he shouldn't but this is the way he sleeps best, I have a video monitor and watch him the whole time/in the same room as him). Naps range from 20 min-2hrs at which point I start to wake him up (by turning off the fan/letting in natural light/rubbing his back) to keep his day and night cycle correct. I generally don't put him down until he is asleep (I know technically I am supposed to put him down sleepy), I have tried it when he's sleep but not asleep and it never works for naps and we have to start the process all over again because it makes him completely awake :-( If it is a short nap (happens 75% of the time) I try shush/pat and PU/PD for about 30 min but doesnt really work. He is still tired but fights to fall back asleep.
Bedtime: Our bed time routine has changed recently (after he started not sleeping well I decided to give it more structure thinking this was the problem). Old routine was, nurse him to sleep then swaddle and put in crib. New routine is we start around 6:30-7:30 with a feeding (takes about 30-45 min), then do a diaper change, wipe down with a warm rag, put on pj's, swaddle, read a book, then up over my shoulder with a pacifier (usually 1-1.25hr after started to nurse). Tonight I tried putting him down still awake and stood by the crib/in room for about 20 min (had to put pacifier back in his mouth twice) till he was asleep. So far so good! I then do a cluster/dream feed right before I go to bed sometime between 9:30-10:30. Put him back in the crib (he normally doesnt wake up), no diaper change. Starting between 11pm-1am he seems to wake up every hour or so (until around 3:30-4:30 or about 6 hrs after the dreamfeed for a feeding). I wait till he is starting to whimper before I go in to give pacifier. We have been doing the shush/pat and PU/PD method (if needed) for 3 nights now when he wakes up. Last night was the best in the sense that each time I gave him the pacifier (sometimes let my hand rest on his face-calms him) then wait in his room for 10-20 min till he was back asleep but didnt have to pick him up at all (previous nights I had to pick up and use shush/pat multiple times, lasting up to an hour each time). So far our longest span has been 6.5 hours before having to eat again. Then waking around the 6 hr mark and if he is fussy I nurse him then the goal is to go back asleep. This is where we really fall apart. For some reason he completely wakes himself up after nursing, doesn't want to fall back asleep and by this time I am exhausted and have to admit I want to just put him in our bed so I can get some sleep! I have tried putting him in his crib and just letting him play in there (last about 15-30 min) then cries, then I try PU/PD but doesnt seem to work. About 1.5hr after waking up to feed he is finally tired and I can normally get him to sleep (but doesnt last long, maybe another hour). I feel that he is not getting enough sleep and is OT but I don't know how to solve the problem. Please Help! P.S. We have been only half swaddling since about 5 weeks when he started to bust out and freak out with his arms not out. About a month ago we bought a sleep swaddler and tried again to put his arms in but he woke up every couple of hrs then when we went back to the half swaddle he started sleeping 3-4 hrs again, until last week.
Breastfeed: We average about 7 feedings a day now (including dream feed). Each time it is both breast for a total of 30-45 min.
I don't think there are developmental issues/milestones. We have gotten 3 accidental roll overs in the past 2 weeks but he deff didnt do it on purpose.
No cereal.
The prop is me putting him in bed when I am so tired that I can't keep my eyes open.
We have a lovie but haven't tried to use it. He just started to swat and pay attention to toys, dont think he would know it was there.
My Questions:
How long should we try to go back to a nap if he sleeps less than 45 min? Or do we just change the routine (from E.A.S.Y to E.A.S.A.E.A.S)?
What other methods should we use at Naps? Night Time?
If he is inconsolable is it ok to try other things like rocking/movement (usually works best) to get him back to sleep?
I know he should learn how to put himself to sleep but should I just hold him for a few of his naps so he doesn't get overtired (at least until he is sleeping more)? or do I keep trying to put him down (and risk waking him up)?
Do we focus more on the naps or nighttime to start? or both?
I know this is tons of information, any advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks!
