Haven't slept more than 4 hours consecutively since birth

[Snowgrrl83]

Dear everyone,

I'm at my witts end. I don't know what to do. My baby Ollie hasn't slept a stretch of more than 4 hours since birth...he is now 7 months old. I've tried it all, earlier bedtimes, cry-it-out, "tanking him up" before bed, nursing, not nursing, longer naps, consoling him, pick up/put down, shush pat. I've tried going in his crib with him in the middle of the night (as Tracy Hogg described in her book with the little girl that was scared of her crib...he just screamed....)

This morning I just wanted to shake him (of course I didn't do that) for the lack of my own sleep.

Here is our situation and PLEASE give me some feedback.

He was exclusively breastfed until 5 months old and I would wake up in the middle of the night every 1 to 2 hours from the age of 4 months to 5 months to breastfeed him (and 3 hour intervals from birth until 4 months).

At 5 months, we started solids. So I decided to try and give him cereal before bedtime to see if he would sleep longer. Didn't work..did that for about a week. Now he eats about half a cup of cereal 2 tbsp of some vegetables and nurses before bed (but I put him to bed awake at around 7-8PM and he falls asleep after fussing for 5 minutes or less). We have a bedtime routine and it works to put him to sleep at 7-8pm...its the middle of the night that is the problem. So I tried to take out some night feedings...well, that didn't work since I haven't fed him overnight in nearly a month now and he just screams and screams and screams.

He falls asleep easily for naps and he'll sleep 1-2 hours in the morning and once in the afternoon...I try to keep his nap time at the same time every day (9AM and 2-3 PM)

So the problem is that, he falls asleep very easily when I put him down wide awake at 7 to 8PM for the night but its the 11PM, 1AM, 3AM, and 4AM then 5AM waking and crying for 45 minutes that stumps me. I just dont know what to do. When I nursed him back to sleep about a month or so ago but he would wake up again 2 hours later... if I don't nurse him, he just cries himself back to sleep (or screams in my arms or screams while trying the pu/pd or stops screaming for half a second with shushpat and then starts screaming again) for 45 minutes only to wake up again an hour later.

My son got his first teeth at 3.5 month. Today, at 7 months, he has 6 or more teeth (4 on top and 2 bottom). Could it be teething that has kept him up? I've tried baby tylenol, but still didnt do much for his sleep.

I dont know what to do! My patience is running thin... I haven't slept a span of longer than 4 hours without waking since he was born.... ugh.

We are going on vacation next week and we will be in a hotel room. I can't imagine only sleeping 3 hours every night because I can't shut his room door. and I'm sure our routine will be disrupted....but we havent made any improvements anyway...

HELP! Any suggestions and ideas? I'm desperate.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Bumping you up to get some more eyes on this - and hugs from mebecause it sounds so tough.

My ideas would be independent sleep and teething - but I think you've thought of those already! Have you tried each for a week or so?

[creations]

Oh hugs for you! You must all be exhausted!
Is there any sign of reflux or food intolerance? I can only think a baby waking so many times in the night is in pain or (and I'm sure you will have thought of this) either too hot or too cold.

[Katet]

Long time ago & can't quite remember the exact details, but my DS1 didn't sleep through the night consistently until he was well past 2yo. We never quite worked out what they reasons were, but there was some breathing issues & reflux that we found later & one thing I did work out was the Orange vegetables weren't good either.

Can you give a day wake up time bedtime, meals etc. At 7mo my DS1 still had 2 naps & a cat nap because he needed it & maybe the wakeups are overtired if he is awake for long periods.

Does he have a prop like a dummy/paci, that he is using to fall asleep?  It does sound like he can't get himself back to sleep through the sleep cycles, which is either overtired or undertired... I know when I'm over tired I actually get to the point of insomnia & I'm pretty sure that was in part the case with my DS1.

[Snowgrrl83]

Because he falls asleep so easily for his naps and early in the evening when its bed time. Is it possible to have mastered self-soothing for naps and initial bed time but not later in the 0night? Maybe something is hurting him... which I can only think of his teeth or possibly tummy ache.

He did have severe eczema around 2-3 months of age which has slowly faded (he still gets the occasional flare up). When his eczema was really bad, I was told it could be a food intolerance and to go see a naturopath to help out. I went to see a naturopath who did this weird electrical test (seemed bogus..and googled it later just to confirm this tests bogussness). The naturopath told me that I should cut out all dairy, gluten, oats, strawberries, coffee, sodas, MSG, chocolate, seafood (and this list went on and on) if I were to keep on breastfeeding him as he had an intolerance to these foods and if these foods were to be eaten by me that he would react. It seemed unreasonable to me that I'd have to go on such a restrictive diet as an adult who is nursing. I did give up dairy for 2 months (without improvement) but thats as far as I went without breaking down within 48 hours and ordering a ridiculous amount of junk food and going on a crazy binge. I'm soehow doubtful that this would be the cause though as he doesn't seem uncomfortable during the day after he eats.

My mother's thoughts are that he is teething and that his teeth are waking him up (he has been teething since he was 3 months old). Baby Tylenol doesn't last for 8 hours and we've tried that....Sooooo, whats a mom to do?

Here is our daily schedule

Wake up: 6:30-7 AM
BFeeding: 7:00-7:15 AM
Activity: 7:15-8:00
Breakfast: 8:00 - 8:15 (2-3tbsp fruit and 1/3 cup of mixed grain cereal)
Activity: 8:15-9
Nap: 9-10:30 or 11... goes to his crib wide awake and falls asleep within 5 mins might awake within the hour but falls asleep again after fussing for 5 mins
Bfeeding: 11-11:15ish
Activity:11:15 - 1
Lunch: 1PM- 1 tbsp meat 2 tbsp veggies 2 tbsp fruit
Activity: 1:15-2
Nap: 2PM-3:30or4 same as morning nap
Bfeeding:4-4:15
Activity:4:15 - 5:30
Dinner: 5:30 1/2 cup cereal 2 tbsp veggies
Bedtime routine (6PM): bath, pyjamas, cuddling with mom or dad
Bfeeding:6:45
Bedtime: 7PM He goes to bed awake..no props and falls asleep within 5 to 10 mins
I either dreamfeed him at 10PM... or he wake up screaming at 10:30ish....
and then the night is history.. waking up screaming at all hours of the night. usually in a 2 or 3 hour span and screaming for 45 mins at a time.



He is tired all day.... I'm tired all day. We are both super miserable.
I'm pretty close to launching him like a football (I won't do that, but you know what I mean)... and he is sick and tired of me too it seems (he keeps on biting me!)

[Katet]

Food could be an issue, I know that I get insomnia after eating wheat products, but like you say you'd go crazy cutting it all out. Have you introduced any milk products, because I'd definitely not offer them, just to be on the safe side... my DS1 didn't cope with milk until 15months (he'd throw it up even cooked in food)

Nap: 9-10:30 or 11... goes to his crib wide awake and falls asleep within 5 mins might awake within the hour but falls asleep again after fussing for 5 mins

OK I'm just going on what I learnt with my DS1, the fact he wakes within the hour & fusses & goes back to sleep says he has trouble transitioning... with DS1 that was overtiredness. SO maybe he needs to have his naps a bit earlier & bedtime a little earlier... but then can't say that will work, but I definitely think the transitioning from stage to stage may be part of the issue... something we had & I never quite worked out what to do, DS1 just eventually got better at it... then I had DS2 LOL

Honestly I'd cut out the dream feed, if he is taking that amount of solids then he should be ok with it & it certainly isn't helping him sleep... one thing that worked really well with DS2 was "never feed on the first waking" I'd settle him back to sleep on the first waking & that first waking gradually got later & later.

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs lovely.
My 2 cents....there is a food that is causing trouble
T has a stream of intolerances and has reflux and he would often nap ok, but nights.were.hell. A lot of digestion occurs through the night, and this is often when we get belly a he's, gas from the intestines causing trouble and problem with bowel movements etc.
tummy related pain or food related pain is not eased like other pain by pain meds. They take the edge off, but they don't take it away.

How are his poops? Any mucus? Any constipation or diarrhoea? Gas? Any symptoms from here?
 Reflux checklist for parents and Drs
Does my LO have food intolerances?

[Snowgrrl83]

Thank you for your responses I think it helps just having suggestions ...*sigh* I'm saying that as I just put DS down for the night. *crossing fingers*

He regularly poops.. usually once or twice per day.. they are mushy, but have consistency to them. Not like when he was EBF, before solids, they were green and not yellow as they were supposed to be.
He hasn't had any dairy products yet. He does have an egg now and again as recommended.

It MIGHT be tummy troubles?  I think its could also be teeth hurting him or trouble self-soothing..... but I've been trying to train the self soothing for so long it seems. -maybe its a combination of both or all 3 issues....ugh, I'll let you all know how it goes tonight.

My husband sleeps through it all... I don't know how he does it. Either that or he "pretends" to sleep through it all...and when he tries to help out (when I kick him out of bed) DS just wails like crazy while DH tries to console him for a couple of hours 
and I'm lying in bed still not sleeping just listening to poor DH trying to console a screaming baby...

 

[ZacsMumme]

Teething does mess with sleep, but it wouldn't be all night every night and he would do at least 1 good stretch I wold think .. Does he do a good stretch ever? Ie 5-7 hrs?

Honey, it is really really hard getting no sleep. Trust me I get it! You have got to get some rest or at least time out from DS for your sanity. It's a lonely, frustrating time and it's easy to start feeling depressed, anxious and angry. Is there anyone who can take him during his A time and you sleep? Or go get a coffee? Or a walk? Or can DH take a day off and do all apps so you Can catch up and sleep?

So he's independent for naps and BT correct? It's just NW? - so, how does he wake each time? - is it a shrill cry? Or grunting turned to grizzling to crying? Does he search for the breast every NW?

[Snowgrrl83]

He has NEVER slept more than a 4 hour stretch since he was born... EVER. 

My husband is away this evening but  he takes a bit more of the task when he comes home from work on other evenings.

He is totally independent for naps and falls asleep. In fact, today, his morning nap, he went down without a peep.... and this evening, he also went down to bed without a peep...
Its just 2-3 hours later that the screaming and crying marathon begins. and its on and off all night long.

He's def looking for the breast every time he wakes.
At times it starts with a calmer cry and turns into screaming in a matter of 2 short minutes....but also sometimes he wakes up screaming (shrill cry).

[Katet]

they are mushy, but have consistency to them. Not like when he was EBF, before solids, they were green and not yellow as they were supposed to be.

OK that speaks volumes to me, there is something that doesn't agree with him, we got green poo when DS1 was taking too much fore milk (high lactose), it improved when I block fed (same side for 2 feeds in a row)  https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/lactose-overload-babies

Green or mushy poos in a baby aren't normal, there is definitely something that he is digesting that he struggles with, I know with DS2 I found out heaps of things I wished I'd known with DS1 & it was with hindsight I worked out that I should have taken something out of my diet... with the value of hindsight it was wheat.

When you took out dairy did you take out all the trace, all the dairy in cooked foods & cookies etc? Although it could be wheat or it could be anything, the problem is you can't work it out until you take it out of your diet & that is hard...esp when you are so tired that you struggle to even function & TBH most of the health professionals around me were like "oh he'll settle some babies are like that"... "yep but you aren't the one being tortured by lack of sleep"

The fact he looks for the breast says it is soothing & that he does feel more comfortable with a full belly.

[matisse22]

I'd say he is struggling to transition between sleep cycles and has a really nasty habit of needing mom ;-) nighttime sleep is different than daytime sleep, and babies come to expect different things. I'd also suggest that doing all that eating at night time is itself the cause of waking up (think of how hard it is to sleep when your tummy is super full after thanksgiving dinner!) I'd also say there is no consistency at night, so baby doesn't' know what to expect. Consistency is key!

You need to break him of the "i need a breast" to go back to sleep AT NIGHT habit.  This is what I think the problem is (i had this problem with my first baby, she woke me every 3 hours till I weaned her at 12 months!) The key then is to develop new "night time" expectations. When baby wakes, baby doesn't eat. Baby gets helped to go back to sleep. Start with the first waking, and see what happens.  Chances are baby will come to wake for the first time at a time more appropriate for nursing. But the thing is, it really isn't about tanking baby up, it's about teaching baby  how to transition back to sleep.

You will need to up the milk intake during the day to make up for the decrease at night.


Also, I disagree about the green poop. My current baby had green, peanut butter poop. I discussed it with my doctor and I did some research, some babies just do have this kind of poop, and what's important is that it is consistently that way. I had green poop for a few weeks with my first two kids, did block feeding to correct, but with my third, I could block feed until I was red in the face, it made no difference, her poop was just green and peanut butter like.  It may have been my diet, but if baby isn't unhappy, then there is  nothing to worry about (so says my doctor). If baby seem uncomfortable, then worry. Otherwise, don't make a problem where there isn't one. In short, my baby had similar poop, and she was sleeping 11-12 hours at 10 weeks, and did so up until a few weeks ago (7 months). She is now waking after about 8-9 hours, super hungry. We may have a growth spurt that seems to have  turned into night time feeding habit.