Am I doing the right thing?

[brummum]

Okay so we have been all over the place sleep wise following sleep regression and a holiday and I have been really struggling to get back on track. The main issue is bedtime resistance for up to an hr (and usually on the longer side) with wake up staying the same (anywhere between 6-6:30) with a happy wake up and usually sleeping through but making for a 10hrish night. His naps have been 1:15-1:45 apart from 2 days where he ended up having a half hr catnap. Now I was thinking over tired or molars but its just not adding up, the sleeping through with no evening upset wakings, happy wake ups, the odd loooong nw in early hrs (has always been UT or illness here), meds not making a blind bit of difference plus the 2 days he did cat naps he settled fine at bedtime and slept through with usual wake up so a longer night. Moving nap later (1pm) or earlier (11:30) made no difference to nap length or bedtime resistance. Sooo...... The only conclusion I can draw at the moment is he is UT hence the bedtime resistance and EW. Today I capped his nap at 45min (this killed me, believe me!) and he has gone to bed no trouble at 7. I suppose my question is am I way off here? Do I stick with capping at 45 for a few days and see how he responds?

[confusedmummy]

Hi BM, I don't have any advice as I am the worst person for knowing what to do for the best, and I'm usually wrong. But you've given me loads of help and support over my DD's first year so I wanted to just offer (((hugs))). Hope you figure out what to do for the best xx

[*happy*]

I visited a friend yesterday with a 2yo.
She said if her DD naps for more than 30mins,she won't
sleep til 10pm!otherwise,she does 8am-8pm!just thought
i'd mention it!
Hugs!

[Bex09]

Sounds like you are on the right track to me hun. That behaviour would have been UT here too, especially the BT refusal. FWIW DD would never have dropped the nap on her own, she still loved her nap, but as happy said she started refusing BT and our day was getting longer and longer. Cutting the nap always worked for us. Hope you see results soon.

[brummum]

Thanks guys. Well he did 7-645 with brief wake ups at 12 and 5. Hmmmm....

[jessmum46]

We are in a very similar situation here as you know and have had both a NND and a catnap day recently where BT was easy and the night wasn't bad at all.  Your little man is pretty low sleep needs isn't he?  Maybe he does need a short nap and long night to be well rested but I'd keep an eye out for increasing NWs or deterioration in mood/behaviour which might suggest OT is creeping in.  Totally not unheard of to start the 1-0 at this age but bear in mind it can take some time. 

The other thing I thought I'd just mention is that often J is a bit upset on waking in the morning (just seems to be how she is, fine as soon as we get her up), but sometimes after a really short night she will wake happy.  I think it might be a touch of delirium.....and usually I find on days like those that she is way more touchy than normal so not everything that looks happy is necessarily well-rested if you know what I mean x

[Layla]

I remember some time around age 2, Isabella's sleep dropped right down to 10.5hrs at night with approx 1-1.5hr nap. What if the nap is around 12.30 and you cap at 1hr?

[brummum]

Yes Katherine, I would consider him LSN but there's always a little voice in my head questioning if he really is or if I have just never got it right you know? I see so many threads on hear with lo's doing 12-13hr nights and 2hr naps that it makes me question myself :-(. I will definately look out for overtired, its so hard to judge. I don't think he's ready for continuous 45min naps but it seems to be a fine line in terms of tipping over into UT. *sigh*! Oh yeah, the delirium I am familiar with it... And I think this is part of what kept me thinking 'overtired overtired' but he's so hyper and active on a 'normal' day it's hard for me to tell the difference. Not very good at reading him am I?! Layla we had been doing nap at 12:30 and similar to Bex09 we don't have an issue with him taking it, I hadn't tried capping at 1hr as it seemed so close to what he was doing anyway (he's usually more the 1:15 end rather than 1:45). Do you think I should start there instead of 45mins? With capping the nap does it make any difference when he has it do you think? Obviously you don't have to move it around to try and lengthen but would it better taken earlier/later? What do people think?

[brummum]

Thanks for the hugs confusedmommy and happy they are much needed x

[Emami]

I don't have any BTDT with a LSN toddler (sorry, DD is one of those you read about with long nights and nap  ), but just wanted to jump in and say the opposite to your statement that you don't read him very well.  My first thought reading this was that you know your little guy!! Any sleep problems we've had here have been because I'm always wary of pushing A times and capping naps, but you've gone for it. If it's right for him it's right for him and your mama instinct knows best! 

[Bex09]

When we capped the nap we pushed it later by however much we cut it by, if that makes sense? So if we shaved 20mins off the nap we started it 20 minutes later. This just kept the A times balanced either side of the nap then.

[brummum]

Thanks Emma, unfortunately tonight it really doesn't feel like it. he went down at 7 after a 35min nap (was with grandad today and fell asleep in buggy around 12:15) and we have had 5+ night wakings starting from 11ish, most quick to resttle but the current one has lasted 45mins. With him intermittently shouting at me and seeming wide awake. So I'm thinking I really should have done EBT and he is totally over cooked. Guessing I don't cap tomorrow to let him catch up? No doubt he will then resist bedtime. I really don't think I can do this anymore. His sleep has just been one long 21 month struggle with brief periods of 'light at the end of the tunnel'. DH now works away during the week so I am on my own, I'm high sleep needs and am exhausted, I end up in tears during these long night wakings because I know I'm not going to be able to cope with this non stop  spirited little guy the next day. I wake up in the morning and I wish it was bedtime already which I hate myself for. Sorry for pity party I'm just totally OT myself.

[*happy*]

Oh hun,i totally get where you're coming from.it's so hard
to deal with being OT yourself when you cant take a
rest when you need it.hope today goes a little (or alot!)
better for you.x

[brummum]

Sorry about last night, just tired. DH gave me lie in and has taken little man to park. I have tried to emphasise getting him back for a decent nap but we will see if that happens, don't look a gift horse in the mouth right? Do I do an uncapped nap today and then go for 1hr capped going forward do you think? I am so lost.

[jessmum46]

How did it go today?  What did you do?

A 1h nap is short in "BW land" for this age, but I have friends with similar aged LOs who are only 'allowed' a 1h nap or they won't go to bed at 7pm.  I'd try it, and allow for a 11.5-12h night and see how it goes xx