Breastfeeding conflict w/sleep training??

[Kismee]

Hello ladies, I am very new on the board, so I hope I have written down the post on the correct section of forum.
My lovely 4 month old boy is a completely distracted baby. I am not able to nurse him when he is awake or when we are out and about. He is ebf never gets bottle. Dark room, nursing necklace, walking don't work at all. I need to rock him a little to make him drowsy so he can eat and then sleep. I tried sleeping him hungry so he would nurse when he woke up. Unfortunately after  about 6 hours, I gave up and fed him. Then i tried waking him up for A time, right after feeding. He got worse on sleeping n eating since was always sleepy. He was on EASY until 14 weeks. I dont know what happened on that week.
Since he is 4 months old i want to start sleep training but I don't know how to do it. CIO or CC methods are not for me even the pedi strongly recommends it. I gave a try to pu/pd several times. It took around 1 hour and he was crying his brain out because he was both sleepy n hungry.
So I should either give up sleeping training or starve my baby to teach him self soothe.
Please help me ladies, I don't know how to solve it.
PS: Since english is not my native language, I apologize for my grammar and mistakes in advance.

[becj86]

Hi Your English is fine.

You have to feed him - if you have to choose, leave the sleep training for a bit. xx

Have you tried feeding him just as he wakes, so he's still a little drowsy? What's his routine?

CIO or CC methods are not for me even the pedi strongly recommends it.

I'm shocked the pedi recommends CC/CIO at this age - Ferber himself always said its not appropriate for a child under 6 months and more recently says its not so good at all.

What is your baby's temperament? The BW "Know Your Baby Quiz"
That actually can help determine the best way to sleep train.

[weaver]

Four months is too young for PU/PD.  Go gently for now, and definitely don't starve him. 

I always say something is only a problem if it's a problem for the family.  Are *you* ok with how things are right now?  If not, then think about it, make a plan and try to change it.

It sounds like you may have a feeding to sleep prop - I mean, he is depending on feeding to help himself get to sleep.  If you want to change that you might like to read this for some ideas.
Gradual Weaning Process (Recommended for young infant)

[Kismee]

Beckj86, I try feeding just as wake but doesn't work always. I feed him on demand which is mostly 3-3,5 hours. He gives cue for sleeping in 90 mins sometimes close to 2 hours, depends on previous nap. However, wakes up around 7,30-8 and bt is around 8-8,30. He sleeps about 6 hours for first nw and another 3-4 hours and 2 hours or so.
I have to do baby quiz to make sure about temperament. I would say he was an angel and a book baby until 14 weeks but I am not sure now.
Weaver, i am actually ok with it but since he feeds and sleeps, he sleeps on me. Although o love it, I cant do anything during the day. So I thought it is time to do something.
I realize that feeding a prop but couldn't figure out how to change. I need to check the link you suggests.

[Shiv52]

I think he's doing really well. His feeds in the day are well spaced out and his nights are pretty good. Better than mine were at 4 months!

I think the first thing I would do is work on getting him set down after he falls asleep. So keep going you are and feed and then unlatch and keep him settled then put him down ssh patting if he starts to wake to resettle him. If you can start getting him down then you can work on increasing the time between the end of the feed and sleep very gradually. Least if you can get him down you can get a break too!

Where does he sleep at nights?

[Kismee]

He sleeps in his crib at nights. This is also the funny part. At bt he nurses ver well, when he is done pull off the breast, I put him in his crib and rest is story. On the other hand, during the day, as soon as I put him down, he start crying loudly.
Ill try to again to put down  and sshh him. Even now he fought not to sleep for 2,5 hours w/o nursing. I put him on breast after we both cried out loud.  Voila, he is sleeping by holding my hand. And I am in tears and dont know where i did mess up the things.
Btw, he is still an angel baby according to test even if he cries most of the time and doesnt play bu himself more than 15 mins. Looks like i am the problem not him (

[Lewa2]

Hugs Kismee, don't feel bad about yourself! My 2 month old does the same thing - sleeps very well in his own cot at night but refuses to be put down during the day. As I have 2 other toddlers, I end up wearing him in a sling so he can sleep. That way he is still happy and at least I have free hands.

Shiv said it really well - just gradually move him into the cot and shh/pat him if he stirs. From past experience the first and second days are the hardest by the third things start to get better.

If you are crying, just stop and do whatever will make you both feel better, so feed to sleep or just holding him. Don't feel like you have to keep doing sleep training if it is too hard. Just have a break and start again later (next nap or next week)

[Kismee]

Thank you Lewa2, and ladies. I was thinking about to get a carrier as well. Looks like I should. However, Ill give a try to gradually putting to crib. But I think Ill postpone the training for a future date. I belive in first of all I am not ready for force him to something to do when he resists so much.