11 month old baby - sleep has completely fallen apart!

[Laupai]

I'm a first time poster searching for. a wee bit of advice and support.
I have a 11 month old dd who has been on easy since a month old. Pretty much textbook personality with some touchy tendencies (more touchy lately due to overtired though!) has been a mostly great day sleeper and ok night sleeper up until 3 weeks ago. 3 weeks ago the whole household got sick. Complete nightmare! Anyway I managed to keep her on her routine but her naps over this period became shorter and shorter! We are currently down to 2 x 30-45 min naps a day now. She is not coping on this and has become extremely resistant to self settling all naps and nighttime and now waking 2-3 times a night. For example it took me 2 hours in the middle of the night doing p/d for 1 night waking last night. To say dh and I are tired is an understatement. Dd is tired and her older sister whom she shares a room with is also tired from constant sleep interruptions. Her easy prior to 3 weeks is as follows:

E- 7am  wake up and bf
A- 8am breakfast and mid morning snack
S- 10.30am first nap 45 min capped due to 2-1 transition
E- 11.15 bf
A - 12 lunch and afternoon snack prior to sleep
S - 2.30 2nd nap with short A due to short first nap 1.5 hours sleep
E - 4pm bf
S- 7pm bedtime, bath and bf prior.

So for now easy is the same but with short naps. I've tried an early bedtime but she wakes after 30 mins as if it is a nap.  Every sleep right now we do p/d where she gets hysterical. I am as we speak APing her second nap to prevent further overtired as she completely hysterically resisted nap #2 for 45 mins.
Any suggestions would be so happily received.
TIA! 

[nevinsmama]

Hi there and welcome to BW!  First off big (((HUGS!))) on being so very tired. I know many of us have been there and it is just brutal. WE are here to help and hold your hand through this, you will sleep again!

OK, can you describe what you are doing exactly with your PUPD? Any teeth or discomfort ( new food)? Have you considered doing long AM short PM? Just in case you haven't seen this, there is some great 2-1 info here. From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)

[Laupai]

Thank you so much for the reply and the hugs. It is a trying time for sure!

So for PUPD we only do the PD part. Our bedtime routine starts for a 2 min wind-down on my lap in the bedroom and then I lay her down. I stand next to the cot while she settle's. She has just mastered pulling up so when she stands I lay her down otherwise I just allow her to sort herself out. Up until everything started to deteriorate I was able to do wind down and put her down and leave the room. She now protests terribly when I leave the room even if I wait until she is in a deeper sleep. Last night it took 4 attempts to get out.

She just got her first tooth 3 days ago so yes she has actively teething. We've also just had daylight savings (clock moving forward) a few weeks ago. I mentioned above that we had all been sick. Well she had roseolla and was irritable and unwell for just over a week. So there have been a few disruptive factors in last few weeks.

Her capped am nap I began about a month ago as she began to resist her pm nap. Now due to her short napping I haven't had to wake her up in about 2 weeks. The longest I can get from her am nap right now is 30 mins and pm 45mins.

Last night was the better night we've had in ages. She slept from 8pm (took an hour to settle) until 4am uninterrupted. She then fed and slept till 6.30 so that was great although after 3 weeks on minimal sleep she needed to catch up at some point!

Thanks again for help. It's much appreciated

[Laupai]

Oh and sorry I forgot mention... She has had some extreme separation anxiety going on 2-3 months now. She has to be in the same room as me she actively voices her displeasure! The only time I have been able to leave her until now is bed/nap time. I am working on this but this seems to be the norm with my babies! All 3 have done this. Anyway I am assuming this might be part of it maybe?

Thanks again 

[Laupai]

Hi sorry just an update... Things have gone from bad to worse. She woke at 10.30pm last night and we were unable to get her to sleep until 1.15. We did PD the entire time other then 1 short feed that I tried an hour into it. She then woke again at 4.30 for a short time. This morning she has completely refused 2 attempts at a first nap ( attempted 45 mins each). I don't actually think I can stand in that dark bedroom any longer and am so lost as to what do. I really am so confused now.
Thanks again.

[nevinsmama]

Hi there. Have you tried medicating for teeth? That much chaos sounds like something else going on. Is she quite over the sickness too? Oh I know how awful the dark bedroom and screaming child is! Big hugs! The best thing when my daughter would get "stuck" in a NW ( turning it into a 2-3 hour thing) would be to get out of the bedroom, sit in low light in the living room and just breathe and try to relax. Even now if she is struggling just taking her out of her room and really settling down is often the thing that will help her stay quiet and go back to sleep after I lay her down. That much screaming and darkness is hard on anyone!
It sounds like to me that your approach to being sensitive to the SA is right on and as you know she will get past it but to just take a GW approach is good. I am going to get some more eyes on this to see what else might be going on. If I were you and was sure she was well I would go with short AM long PM and see how things go. Sleepy vibes for tonight, deep breaths, and ((HUGS!!)) for you!

[ZacsMumme]

Hey there!

Lots of hugs, we have had sick little boys in our house too - this nz winter has been horrid

As Maryn says, I think first you want to know (as much as you can) that the pain is managed. Long NW like you mentioned above are always discomfort here. Sometimes teething, sometimes a virus that then kicks in the next day YK? Does she have any kind of cough or blocked nose/congestion?

If your not already doing so, I'd try giving pain meds at her nap and BT and see if it makes a difference.

What I have noticed with T (who is recovering from croup) is that unlike my first - he bounces back fast! So he had one great nap and night and then when I tried to pd early for his nap to cu - he wasn't tired...then go OT by BT with his short naps

So I guess I'm wondering if your sure she is ready for that am or pm nap when you pd? - if so, then can you resettle with APOP at all when she WU early from her nap/s? When my boys are OT, they usually can be resettled with rocking, or bottle YK?

There is a developmental leap coming up too, and tbh with both my boys it felt like months 7-12 were just one big developmental and teething mess so that could be playing a part.

At this age with PU/pd I wouldn't pd when she stands, just reassure with your voice close by. If it's going on and on and she gets really upset you can pd and rub her back, personally when t gets too upset I just pd, cuddle then back in he cot but that's because he has reflux. I found closing my eyes and humming twinkle twinkle with ear plugs helped me stay sane through the rough patches of ST.

Sorry for the long rant! Hope some of it helps...what do you think Hun?

[TB9]

My first thought was pain as well    This is exactly how dd1 acted when she had an ear infection.  Short naps and long nws   Is there any chance of ear infection?  If not I would say teething or virus are good possibilities as well.

DD1 had roseola around 11months, and at first when the virus was in full swing she as down to 2.5-3hrs A, but then when she (finally) started feeling better her A times jumped right back up.  So for now I would probably be tempted to get her ears checked, medicate in case of teeth, and go by cues for sleep instead of whatever A time worked before.

[Laupai]

Thank you everyone for your reply's. Yesterday was just awful for dd and I. She did not nap at all. After 3 attempts over the day there were tears all round! At bedtime she was so overtired it took another 50 mins to settle. She woke at 3.30 but I was so tired I ended up just falling asleep with her. I just couldn't do another 2 hour stint. Today I'll try some pain relief I think. I got her ears checked 5 days ago and they were clear then. If this is still going on after the weekend I'll take her back in for another check. Her nose hasn't actually stopped running either from when she was sick so yes she is a bit congested

It's really hard for me to gauge when to put her down for her first nap right now. I think you are right about her not being tired for her first nap yesterday though ZacsMumme. I tried for a 3 and 3/4 awake time and I don't think it was enough. I'll try to go completely by her tired signs today and see how that works.

So today I'll try with pain relief and tired signs and we'll see if there is an improvement.
Thanks again everyone. It's such a relief to have a plan for today after yesterday.  I'll update on how it goes.

[TB9]

Poor dd and poor mummy   If she has been congested for awhile ear infections can happen very quickly.  Another thing to consider is that she may have a sinus infection if she has been congested for a long time and it isnt clearing.  But at this age with teething as a possibility I always found it a guessing game 

Hang in there!  You will figure it out and you will be able to sleep again, I promise!

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs Hun, I feel you pain. Can't work out if my baby is teething or still sick!

Let us known how you go

[Laupai]

Hi everyone after another very bad day and night I'm taking dd to the Dr today. I'll let you know how it goes.
Thanks

[Laupai]

So doctor confirmed ears,throat, chest all clear which is good. I have APed 2 short naps today. She just seems so crazy overtired that I just want to try to get her over that before we move forward. Not sure if it's a good idea but I'm starting to feel a bit desperate. We are still going with the pain relief too. Hopefully tomorrow we can start again with a bit more luck. Thanks everyone for the support 

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs Hun, it's so hard.

APOPing till she catches up is a good idea.

If you want to post your routine today or tomorrow we can have a look to how it may need adjusting to help get back on track.

[Laupai]

Thanks. That would be great. So today we have had 2 x 30 min naps again. I have gone completely off tired signs although 2nd nap was delayed as unexpected visitors arrived.

E - 7am
A -  breakfast 8am, snack 10am
S - 10.45 first nap
E - 11.15
A - lunch 12.30, snack 2pm
S - 3pm was overtired by this point
E - 3.30pm

And this is where we are at right now.
Yesterday we completely APOPed both naps as she was still so overtired. Doing this she slept for 2 hours first nap and 1 hour 2nd. Last night she slept till 2.30 and then went back to sleep until morning. I APOPed her back to sleep to avoid another long night waking. It really does feel like she is stuck on those 30 min naps and I have had no luck extending them. I am trying to relax a bit now though. It can be so easy to get completely stressed out about everything and it definitely wasn't helping at all!
Thanks for your help with everything