Author Topic: Help!!!!!!.... my almost 6-month old wakes all through the night :(  (Read 1134 times)

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Offline geetha.pills

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Am at my wits end now and really need some help with our almost 6-month old! Have been going through night wakings since the past 2 months and now the nights are just a blur where I can't even keep account of how many times she has woken up as I just seem to be doing anything that will give me a bit of sleep (I know I have made a mess here  ::))

Her daily routine is as below :

7.30/8 am - Wake up (she always refuses a feed soon after she is awake)
Playtime until 9.30/10 am
9.30/10 am - Breastfeed
10 - 10.30 - Nap
10.30 - 12 - Playtime
12 - Lunch and breastfeed
1 to 3.30/4 pm - Nap (she might wake up after about half an hour and then go back to sleep after about 20 min)
3.30/4 - Breastfeed
4 to 6 - Playtime (might be one more breastfeed in between)
6pm - Dinner and breastfeed
7.15 - Breastfeed, bedtime routine
7.45/8 pm - Sleep

I find her very different from our older boy who was more easier to put into a routine. I have tried to breastfeed her as soon as she wakes up but she just refuses. My little boy does distract her so I have even tried going into another room so that she concentrates more but she is just too strongwilled! Also, I have tried to introduce a nap later in the afternoon since I feel that she is awake for too long there but she just refuses to go for one. And if I try to put her to bed earlier, she wakes up after about 40 min and then is difficult to settle  ::)

My biggest problem is nighttime. She has always slept on her own and still does but after going to bed, she is fine until about 10.30 or 11 or if I am really lucky, until about 12.30. But after that keeps waking through the night and this could be at half hour, hourly or 2-hourly intervals. In the last week, I have been so desperate to get some sleep that I have just taken her into bed with me and cuddled her as she settles quickly like that. During the night, she might settle either with a shh-pat (which is the least effective as far as she is concerned), cuddle or a feed. I didn't try PUPD with her only coz I thought that she might be teething. I tried the wake to sleep method more than a month back and whatever I did, seemed to actually wake her up even if it was just a slight rub on the cheeks to stir her  :(

I started her on solids about 4 weeks back coz she was so interested but then again, she eats her dinner very well but doesnt show too much interest in the lunch. When she wakes up, she seems to do a proper feed on one breast too so she does seem hungry at night.

I would really appreciate any advice on how to handle this situation as I do not have the energy at all now and with a 3 year old around as well, things are not easy. I also seem to be spending so much time with her that I dont have the time to put my little boy to bed or spend as much quality time with him. So between the tiredness and guilt, just feel so helpless. I have never let my babies cry it out but yesterday when she woke up at 11pm, I did just that although I was right beside her. She sleeps in her cot which is right beside our bed.

Thanks in advance. I am ready to try anything at all at this stage (I even got her an amber necklace, something that I have never been convinced off, so you can see how desperate I am!!!!!!)
« Last Edit: October 11, 2013, 19:18:45 pm by geetha.pills »

Offline PaulsMom

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Re: Help!!!!!!.... my almost 6-month old wakes all through the night :(
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2013, 00:53:36 am »
Hugs Hun.  That is really hard on all of you. Being right beside her when she cries is different from CIO (ie. just leaving her by herself to cry :().  Still I know it's hard when you are so so exhausted and feel helpless to help them sleep.

Wrt her routine, she might need a bump in her As so she's up just a bit longer.  You might get a longer am nap and then a slightly shorter pm nap would be alright. 

However if she's waking that frequently, something is likely causing her discomfort or causing her to wake.  What types of solids is she eating?  How many teeth does she have? 

The other thing to consider is that sharing a room with her may be impacting her sleep also.  Either other noises could be waking her if she's a light sleeper or you could also be reacting too fast if she's just stirring and not getting an opportunity to self settle.  Unless she's screaming, I would count to ten and listen to what she's doing and assist if she needs it.  The more often she can self settle, the better she will get at this skill. 

For your own sanity, is it possible for your OH to settle her one night while you catch up on sleep?  I know this is hard but trying to sleep train when you are shattered is just too hard. Hugs.

Offline geetha.pills

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Re: Help!!!!!!.... my almost 6-month old wakes all through the night :(
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2013, 14:27:57 pm »
Hi PaulsMom, thanks so much for your reply and so sorry for not getting back to your earlier. The last few days have been manic with my DD changing her routine even more which has left me a tired and emotional wreck. I have been screaming my head off at my 3.5 year old, poor darling, and can't seem to be in control of myself! Am really so annoyed at myself for this.

I tried bumping up her As but can't seem to do it with her as she is really tired at around 9.30. At the most, since I leave my DS to preschool at that time, I can extend it upto 10 am while I do the drop off and get back home but sometimes she falls asleep even in that time. She can't seem to go longer than 2 (or at a max 2.5 hours A time) in the mornings. The longest stretch that she is awake from the afternoon nap until bedtime. Also, whatever I do, she doesn't do a longer nap than half an hour in the mornings, sometimes even shorter than that  :( She starts stirring after that time and even if i pat or shh, she still wakes up.

I too feel that something is bothering her but at this point, not able to point out what that could be. On the other hand, she does a good stretch until 11 or 12 once she goes to bed which is long enough so can't understand why she is not able to keep going after that! She has not got any teeth as yet. So far, she is mainly on fruits and veggies like pears, apples, bananas, avocados, sweet potato, butternut squash, grapes, melon etc which I think all are easy on her tummy. I introduced ragi (finger millet) and powdered oats only last week and its been 5 days now since I introduced breakfast. She takes good sized portions as well.

She goes to sleep on her own so no props there but some days she falls asleep on the breast. She sucks her thumb so normally self soothes herself as well a number of times. I normally give her a good bit of time before I start settling her, ie. I pick her up only when her whinges turn into a cry or she keeps shuffling for a good long time. I am not ready yet to move her out of our room but I might have to do just that if nothing else works. Since she is bad at napping as well, I feel that it is related.

The last few days she has decided that naps are overrated so decided that long naps are not for her. For two days, I fought with her and did not get her out of the room until it was atleast 2.5 hours. I did a bit of PUPD (which is not helped by the fact that I got sciatica since last week) and after almost 1.5 hours of giving out, she fell asleep for a little while more. Yesterday and today, I have allowed her to take naps on the doomoo but then again, I know its a prop as she is happy to sleep on it for longer and in case she stirs, I rock it a bit  ::)

OH did help me out by taking care of her wakings for 2 nights over the weekend but then of course, since she is EBF and doesnt settle at all, I am needed  :( and I too kept waking when I heard her cries anyways. She did a good 7 hour stretch two nights back (I didn't do anything different) although she woke up 3 times but settled herself after a bit of whinging here and there. I really really wish that our nights get to some sort of rhythm soon otherwise I will hate myself as I lose my temper so often and am not able to think straight......  :'(

The last

Offline PaulsMom

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Re: Help!!!!!!.... my almost 6-month old wakes all through the night :(
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2013, 00:09:56 am »
Sending lots of hugs.  It's so hard when you are sleep deprived and with sciatica!  I had some sciatica during the summer and its sooo hard to pick them up.  I myself am the worst when I'm OT! 

Ok, when things get rough, I would usually recommend APOPing naps if you need to and feeding at night if you need to.  Right now it's about getting sleep for yourself so you can handle two Los.  So, I would try for the am nap as usual.  If its short, then you can APOP the next one if that means that your dd will be less OT.  Try not to fight with her about naps.  I would try to extend naps for up to 20 min and then give up.   It's not the end of the world.  If you know she will nap in the stroller, take her for a walk or a car ride.  I think that OT may be contributing to the nw's. So if you can, try for an earlier bt (for both of you)!  If you can get an extra hour or two, then things might be more manageable.

Wrt A times, ok, she might not be able to handle the full A, which is fine but then her last A is too long.  If she starts to nap a bit better then very slowly increase her A in 5 min increments. 

Hugs.

Offline geetha.pills

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Re: Help!!!!!!.... my almost 6-month old wakes all through the night :(
« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2013, 15:06:04 pm »
Hi PaulsMom, thanks so much for taking the time to reply to my post. We had a good 2 nights last week and I thought things were taking a good turn finally. DD still woke up but only about 3 times and after longer stretches as opposed to the hourly wake up. The only difference in her routine on these two days was that I managed to put her for a 3rd nap (catnap) at around 6/6.30pm and I think she was not OT at bedtime. But then again the last two nights have been a nightmare as though she was making up for the nights that she had not woken up  :o We were up almost every half an hour to an hour.

Last night I tried to get her to bed at 7 but she is one adamant little missy. Whatever I did, she just refused to fall asleep although I did her BT routine. I let her lie on the couch for another 15 - 20 minutes and fed her again and then she took to it and finally did her proper feed before bed.

I have a guest tonight but tomorrow I am hoping to be a bit more strict with her at night and try to settle her without feeds. Any ideas would be most welcome. One thing I know for sure is that our DD is extremely headstrong!!!!!  ::)


Offline PaulsMom

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Re: Help!!!!!!.... my almost 6-month old wakes all through the night :(
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2013, 01:44:16 am »
Hugs Hun.  Ok, when bubs are waking that frequently, something is usually bugging them.  At this age i think teeth or issues with eating solids.  Is she teething?  Keep in mind that for some Los, the teeth moving in the gums will really bother them but this can be weeks before they cut.

She def sounds spirited.  I would try to follow a routine as closely as you can for the next few days.  Try your best to minimize OT. 

Offline geetha.pills

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Re: Help!!!!!!.... my almost 6-month old wakes all through the night :(
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2013, 14:46:42 pm »
So update time now  :) And the news is partly good.....

I have been trying to avoid OT by going for a walk in the evening and getting DD to do a catnap and it has been successful to a certain extent. Secondly, I have been giving water instead of letting her BF when she woke up at night. Also, in my tired state I had not noticed that she actually gets very agitated if I pick her up. On the other hand, if I just give her water while she is in her cot without picking her up, she would cry but she would take the water and then try to settle herself. So the last couple of nights, we have been getting better sleep which feels great, in the sense that she is not waking up every hour. She is only 6 months so I still dont have high hopes of her sleeping through the night, am happy for her to take her time (well, not forever, but a couple of months maybe  ;D) Additionally, she has also been sleeping in a bit more (until about 8.30/9) in the mornings so I think that has helped too.

Last night, she went to bed at 7.45 and then woke up only at 3.30. I let her settle herself for a while but as that didn't work gave her some water after which she settled. But she again started shuffling in her sleep after about 45 minutes so BF her and she fed very well so I think she was hungry. She slept after that.

Fingers crossed that this continues. The next thing that we need to work on, which I am not sure what to do about, is that she is restless in her sleep from about 5/5.30 until about 7. Sometimes the cry is in pain and sometimes she just keeps whinging and unable to settle herself. At that time in the morning, tbh, am a bit worried that she might wake up our 3 year old so I don't let her go on for too long and feed her. She sleeps well after 7 so am not really sure what this is about. She used to be restless at this same time as a baby as well and she just grew out of it and its back again  ???

She is definitely teething since she was 5 weeks but no signs of teeth as yet!  :-\ Since the sleep problems started since before she started solids and has not changed since, I do not think that it is the solids that is the problem (or probably I am wrong  ???) She has taken to solids quite well and only had about a week of constipation when I gave her rice, but then things are back to normal now.

On the brighter side, I feel like I am a more sane mom after the better sleep that I have had :-[  8)


Offline PaulsMom

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Re: Help!!!!!!.... my almost 6-month old wakes all through the night :(
« Reply #7 on: October 26, 2013, 00:15:46 am »
Yay!  It does sound like things are improving!  Doing one feed at night is still common at this age.  I figure if she settles right afterwards, it's better to feed than to struggle to settle a hungry baby! 

Hmmm. Early morning restlessness can be due to a number of things.  Some of it is biological since we are "programmed" to wake in the morning our sleep will naturally become lighter making it more likely for things to disturb our sleep.  From the sounds of it, it could be discomfort, either hunger or perhaps getting ready for her morning BM ???  What's her first A like?  It's also possible that her first nap is occurring too soon.

Offline geetha.pills

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Re: Help!!!!!!.... my almost 6-month old wakes all through the night :(
« Reply #8 on: October 26, 2013, 19:34:21 pm »
Yes, I think so too (fingers crossed!) I don't mind the one feed at all. Fortunately, she has always settled soon after a feed and it has not been a struggle to get her to sleep (Thank God, otherwise I would have had a nervous breakdown!!) I have figured out that when she needs a feed, she will keep shuffling and won't go into a restful sleep until she has it. And guess what, yesterday afternoon she even did a 3 hr 15 min nap! I kept checking on her if she was alright as she has not done it in the last month (never happy, eh!)! Although, today she only did a half an hour one and then I cuddled with her as I was very tired and she slept for another hour after playing for a while but I still am happy with that  :)

Hmmm .... am not really sure as yet about the early morning restlessness. She had it when she was until about 3 months and then she settled and she's started again! She had severe reflux and a touch of colic from when she was 3 weeks until about 10 weeks. I took her to an osteopath when she was 8 weeks and that settled a lot of the restlessness. I wonder if reflux or colic recurs  ??? During her restless period, I have fed her, not once, but sometimes even 3 times, but she is still the same. I have been taking her into bed at that time just to reassure her, but that is not really working either, apart from keeping both me and DH awake  ;D

Her first A lasts anytime from 1.5 hours to 3 hours. It doesn't matter what time she wakes up, she is soooo very ready for her nap by 10.30! She has been waking up a bit later the last few days but still goes for a nap at the same time. She is herself lengthening her second A though!

Offline PaulsMom

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Re: Help!!!!!!.... my almost 6-month old wakes all through the night :(
« Reply #9 on: October 28, 2013, 00:25:38 am »
I've heard that reflux can flare with teething or sometimes when introducing solids (this is more likely a food intolerance).  Is she spitty or arching at all?  It might be worth while to take her back to the osteopath. 

I think some Los will get used to napping at set times.  For some families this works quite well.  I don't have any btdt experience but I could ask around for some suggestions for you if you want.  What I think would be tricky is when to start to shift the naps when she needs more A.