Bad eater

[haribo89]

Hi all,
Just a little background that may be relevent, my 15 month old is a terrible eater, always has been. She was born with lactose intolerance and reflux, thankfully she grew out of the lactose intolerance, she is still on losec mups for reflux which helps and also takes stuff to help her poop too.
As a baby we always had to distract her so she would drink her milk, otherwise she wouldnt take even a sip, this then progressed onto food, she is teething her 1year molars at the moment and i know she isnt going to be really up to eatting much but shes been point blank refusing every meal, distraction no longer works.
Its made me look at how mealtimes have been and i really think things need to change for both of our sakes, i get so stressed out about how little she eats, she must think that im forcing her to eat and gets defensive (puts hands up to block any food etc)
Has anyone been in a similar situation? and how do i change it?
Im thinking i should just put food in front of her, not put any in her mouth myself and just gently and happierly encourge her just touching or licking it, let her be in control of what she does, and use alot of praise when she does eat just a little, and not stress about how much shes eatting (hardest one) Does this sound about right? to me its as if she feels out of control and maybe by giving her full control she will see food as being nice.
Thanks for any input. 

[Haribo2012]

Hugs hun, I don't know about reflux but my LO 16 months can be picky after a illness or teeth so I just let him do it all himself and have a spoon handy to offer some! Maybe try lots of colourful finger foods or put stuff on your plate and offer so LO thinks getting your food, for some reason my LO will eat my meal not his even if the same! They do get very independent at this age too!
Recently mine went 2 days without anything much after ear infection but my mum said stop stressing he will eat when he's hungry just go little and often and don't indulge in snacks!

Sure someone will pop on with a bit more advice for u :/) x

[weaver]

Im thinking i should just put food in front of her, not put any in her mouth myself and just gently and happierly encourge her just touching or licking it, let her be in control of what she does, and use alot of praise when she does eat just a little, and not stress about how much shes eatting (hardest one) Does this sound about right? to me its as if she feels out of control and maybe by giving her full control she will see food as being nice.

That sounds right to me. 

Have you heard about Baby Led Weaning?  That's where you offer mostly finger foods etc and let them choose, feed themselves etc.  I know your LO is past the weaning stage but sounds like the approach would help.  Here's a link.
Baby-Led Weaning

I think from what you're saying you also want to change the atmosphere at meal times.  So maybe sit down and eat with her, eat the same thing, let her see you enjoying it, have a bit of a chat (about anything other than her eating!), maybe even light a candle at the beginning of a meal so she can feel it is a special time. 

It is immensely hard not to stress about what they're eating, but it is one thing you cannot control.  You can prepare and present a healthy and nutritious meal, and then your job is done.  You cannot make them eat!  It's hard! But it's true!

[anna*]

I wouldn't even praise if she eats. Just put the food in front of her, sit down and eat your own meal, then clear the table at the end of the meal. Offer the food without comment or judgement.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Ditto what Anna said! At her age I would for sure forgo feeding her and let her have at it (my kids are quite spirited and spoon feeding didnt last long at all, they much preferred finger foods or just mucking about with chunkier mixes of pasta/veg/sauce with their hands until they got the hang of the spoon on their own).

[haribo89]

Thank you all for your advice and support.
I have been trying really hard to let her do what she wants meal times. For some reason i hate the thought of her not eating. However she has skipped meals and has survived. She seems happier with food now, she is eating a lot less than when i encouraged her but im hoping her confidence will improve with food and maybe she will start eating a little more in time.
 

[weaver]

(()

It's hard!  But great to hear she's happier already, well done.