Thanks ladies, your thoughts and support are most most welcome!
Unfortunately there isn't opportunity for me to nap. I do get a lie in most Sunday mornings when DP is here to get DS up which I'm grateful for, I get and hr or two. But otherwise there just isn't chance.
Aishi we are on set BT now, have been since he turned 1yo (well, just before at the 2 - 1 drop). BT only changes for a 'big' routine change so for instance up to about a month ago he had a nap daily and 8pm BT. Dropped nap and moved BT to 6.30pm. His absolute max sleep in 24hrs is 12.5 but I mean max, he can't do that every day, more usually it would be more like 11.5hrs (1.5 hr nap and say 10 hr night). Trying 6pm BT now to see if he will do a longer night, drop the NWs/EWs and avoid the OT that gradually built over the last month. The car naps he's been having (10 mins or so) are not every day and I never change BT as a result, I see them as his choice to catch up if he wants to, other wise he'll stay awake. I'm really not into trying to prevent the occasional car nap, for me the stress of trying to keep him awake (which is impossible if he decides to nod off) is just not worth it, there is not particular time of day he'll take a micro car nap could be morning or afternoon so I would only be able to fully avoid them by keeping us both home all day every day - just not happening. As he doesn't tack on in the morning it's up to me to decide BT to get him the longest sleep possible...
...last night was better
No super long NW, a couple of disturbances and self settle, a stress dream he needed me for but all in all a great improvement, right up until he woke at 6am. I'm happy for the better night and I managed 5 hr of broken sleep myself which is a big improvement, however, he still didn't do more than a 12hr night and if this continues all I've really done is shift his night earlier by 30 mins. Not great when the clocks are going to shift it another hr and leave us with 5am WUs
so yesterday
WU I don't know, I think about 4.30am when he woke from the stress dream, doubt he slept again after that esp as his penis was doing odd things
no nap
BT and S 6pm
NW minimal, stress dream but quickly settled
WU 6am
today
WU 6am
car micro nap about 10 mins (1.30pm)
BT 6.00
S Well it is now almost 6.45 and he isn't asleep yet (2 call backs for wee, 1 for drink, 1 for bed covers having moved)
And his eyes are gunked up, maybe from the flu jab yesterday.
I'm going to continue several more days with the 6pm BT, see if he can get back to a 6.15 or 6.30 WU. If not though I think I'll go the other way and shift BT later again. I'm actually starting to suspect UT rather than OT. A long time ago (I mean long long time ago) KM was the only one who suggested UT in an EASY that looked to everyone like OT, she was absolutely right and I've been mindful of it ever since. If I'm wrong, moving us to say a 7pm BT (it will still be 6.30 WU) will reduce his nights, but it won't be THAT much of a loss considering the clock change approaching yk.
OK. Will keep you posted, I know you are just eagerly anticipating my next update