16 months still hates car rides, should I turn her around?

[~inbalance~]

I know they say rear facing as long as possible and that was fully my intention (DS2 was rear facing until almost 2), but DD (16 mos) hates long car rides so much that it's almost impossible to bear.  She'll tolerate the car for about 20-30 minutes or so.  If I can time long drives for when she is tired, she will often nap but that is no guarantee and happens less and less, and it's not always possible to time it during naptimes anymore.  So I'm starting to think about turning her around, but I am reluctant for so many reasons.  One is that she is still very small, less than 21 lbs, and still happily in her infant seat.  Two is that my other two kids started getting carsick once turned around and I'm scared she will too.  I'm not sure what to do though, she literally screams murder the whole ride and I drive to visit my dad a lot (1.5hrs), plus tomorrow I'm planning on driving 2hrs down to the city and back and am just dreading the screamfest....
Wondering if anyone else found turning their LO's around helped with hating car rides.  TBH I'm not even sure I'm comfortable turning her yet but looking for experiences.  TIA

[TB9]

It helped sososo much with dd1!  I think she actually was getting carsick by being rear facing as I get carsick if I sit backwards on the bus or train.  She is spirited so part of it was not being able to see what was going on

[~inbalance~]

My dd is spirited as well and I do think that has something to do with it. How old was your dd when you turned her?

[TB9]

A week over 1yo, and I waited as long as I could!

[*Kara*]

I wouldn't turn her personally as I am a firm believer in ERFing.  You mentioned that she is still in her infant seat though - I would bet that a bigger convertible might keep her happy for a bit longer  

If I remember right, you are in Canada??  If so, you are likely bound by proper use laws and in that case, she needs to be 22lbs to face forwards now.  If you want help choosing a seat, I am all ears

[Roseii]

It's crazy how different it is over here, we tend to put them forward facing at 9/10 months  So long as they were the right weight (mine were 90% centile so always heavy) I only knew one girl who didn't when I'd had dd1 (as in, all the mums I knew with babies similar age) and she was Swedish! But fwiw mine were both much happier forward facing. When they were rearward I had a mirror in front of them so they could see behind them, might that help?

[Roseii]

Just checked and the fwd facing ones are from 20lbs here.

[*Liz*]

Personally I would try turning her. It helped DD, although she is still quite a fusspot in the car.

A bad traveller really is unbearable though, so I would try  .

Megan used to scream until she was bright red and drenched in sweat! That can't be safe either yk??

If your seats are similar to ours I do think at 21lb they are a bit big and uncomfortable in the infant seat.

[CCCmom27]

Turning helped G on short drives but he still hated longer ones.  We never took a road trip (9 hours) until he was over two bc I was too scared of all the crying!  He seems to dislike being confined by the straps and gets tired of it long before C ever did.  In the US it used to be you *could* turn them when they were 1 and at least 20 lbs.  A couple years ago they changed it to 2 but I couldn't wait that long with G I think he was around 1.5 when I turned him hoping it would help.  I will say now he is so interested in looking for trucks, trains, construction vehicles that he's fine on most drives...might be a boy thing though...maybe you could point out some things you see often for her to watch for?

[Bex09]

Yep same here, we turned DD to forward facing seat at just over 9 mo as she was also the correct weight then and it made a huge difference. She is spirited too and I think she hated not being able to see what was going on. She has loved being in the car ever since and hated it and used to cry when she was rear facing.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I'm with Kara on this one. I didnt know any better with the older two and turned them too soon...now that I have researched and watched my fair share of youtube videos showing why erf is best and what happens to a ff baby/toddler in an accident I will be keeping Elliotte rf probably until she is 3, but will try for longer.

The laws in this case have not caught up with science imho. Here in SK once your child is 40 lbs there are no laws with regards to child restraints at all! My kids may not like it as they will be in carseats/boosters longer than 99% of their friends but I am all for safety .

[my3girlsjde]

My big girls were insane in the car. D would scream non-stop for hours and J would actually get so upset she would foam at the mouth and choke on it. It was just so hard to travel and we felt so restricted to timings and home and when you're already schedule conscious, that's really hard. When we switched them it was way better. Not perfect by any means and their tolerance was 20-45 mins. But it was a marked difference from 5. We used to travel at night just for the sanity......

I do think spiritedness has something to do with it but there was a big change when they turned around. So perhaps a bit of carsickness too. They did mention their bellies hurt when they were about 3 but I think they outgrew it by 3.5.

One thing that we discussed with a bit of humour was which was really safer - the child being happier and calm in the front facing seat, or a distracted and stressed out driver trying to get somewhere faster because of the screaming. We like the music up, but no way have we ever had the music up nearly as loud as the screaming was. That made us feel that "rear facing as long as possible" meant exactly that. I personally would turn her around.

[Lindsay27]

As soon as Ben reached 22lbs I turned him around because we were having much of the same issues.  It did help a lot.  I agree, keeping them rear facing as along as possible is best, but we couldn't deal with the scream fests any longer.  He is in a convertible seat now so I did have to watch for the weight/height restrictions before I turned him.

[MommyMoulton]

Inbalance..... I work on Ambulance so I am up to speed with the MTO on Carseat regulations:

For Ontario- 20lbs, over 1 year old and independently walking are the requirements before your child can go forward facing. That being said rear facing is safest for children up to age 3. However...... I have come across ALOT of car crashes minor-serious from my life of work and honestly as long as it is installed properly the chances of your child being seriously injured in a car are VERY low. I had a 13month old in a roll over end over end last week, and not even a scratch. Carseat saved his life.

I hope this helps. You can go to your local Police Station or OPP station and they have officers that are trained on carseat installs, it is a free service they will make sure it is installed properly and often give you a certificate to say so. There are often car seat clinics in and around towns/cities where officers and public health departments get together to make sure seats are in safely. Contact your Local Early Years Center, they typically have a date for when the next car seat clinic is.
MM

[~inbalance~]

Thanks for all your thoughts and a lot of good points for both sides.
We already have a convertible seat from ds2. I decided to put her in it for today's long ride. It was brilliant, not a peep out if her and she sat contentedly and stared out the window, and even drifted peacefully off to sleep both ways as opposed to screaming herself to sleep. It was a much more relaxing drive and I agree driving while tense because of a screaming baby is dangerous in its own way.
So I am going to keep her that way. I live in a small town, and on a daily basis I drive 5 minutes anywhere max (if I drive at all) and am always on slow quiet roads. I make a trip out of town about once a month. So when I factor it all in, I feel comfortable having her FF knowing that our occasional longer trips will be less stressful for all of us.

[my3girlsjde]

So happy she did so much better and happy you're comfortable in it too

[*Kara*]

Em - please be sure that the harness is coming from above her shoulders while she is FF

Motor vehicle accidents are actually the number one killer of children under 14 in both Canada and the USA.  Many are unrestrained, and many more are incorrectly restrained.  Forward momentum does carry the risk of massive spinal/neck injuries including internal decapitation.  Seems extreme, but it's a fact.

http://vicarseattechs.com/

For those interested in learning about why rear facing is safer:

http://vicarseattechs.com/2013/rear-facing-why-do-it-and-how-to-make-it-work/

http://vicarseattechs.com/2013/rear-facing-technical-details/


I completely agree that having a child screaming in the car does carry a risk, it's certainly worth exploring options to increase comfort before reducing safety of the child.