My 18wk old gets so upset each time we start wind down for nap and bedtime. She has always been this way before naps, ever since we brought her home. We have a 2yo too so I think that's part of the problem- either he's too noisy, we're preoccupied with him and miss her window, or she doesn't want to miss the entertainment he provides.
Before this weekend, for naps she would cry and arch her back in my arms for 2-3 minutes, then settle, then I'd lay her down drowsy and do shh-pat until she settled and fell asleep on her own. At bedtime, we'd do bath, wind down, then bottle. Then I'd hold her quietly until she got drowsy and I'd lay her down. She'd fall asleep on her own, no crying or shh-pat or anything to help.
Well now it's like all hell broke loose. At nap, she screams and screams for 5-10 minutes before settling. Then I have to stand over her crib and do shh-pat for another 5 minutes before she'll even think of resting. At bedtime, as soon as she finishes her bottle she just cries and cries. I do shh-pat while holding her for about 5-10 minutes until she settles, then lay her down, where I have to do shh-pat for another 5 minutes.
DS was not like this at all. We would lay him down awake for all sleeps and he would nod off peacefully on his own. I know they're different personalities, but I'm wondering where we might have gotten off track here. Luckily once I get her to sleep, the length of her naps are 2-3hrs with no waking so we're good there.
DD is eating 32oz/day and on a 4hr EASY. That transition about a month ago went very smoothly. I don't really believe in the 4MSR, to me every change has a reason and can be adapted to. The only thing changing for us right now is trying to wean the swaddle. A week ago I started alternating one arm out of the swaddle for bed time only. She did great! No crying at bedtime, for 5 days straight, all was good. But 2 days ago she started getting so mad at nap and bedtime. I put both arms back in the next night and she was still mad. Arm out again last night, still mad, and naps are still way worse too.
My questions, I guess: How can I prevent ALL of the crying, both at nap and bedtime? What changes should I be making? Should I push the swaddle wean back, or just go cold turkey and work through it, if it's even related? Do we need to start PU/PD? Also would love to hear what you think about moving her bedtime up, because I think it's too late. It just happens to be when we start DS bath/bed so the house can be quiet for her to sleep. And I would like to not feed her right before bed (maybe do it before bath instead) but her 3rd feed is so late in the afternoon there's not really enough time in between feeds to do it any earlier I don't think.
Here's our EASY:
E 8am
A 820-945
S 10-1115 (have to wake her to go pick up DS from preschool)
E 12p
A 1220-130
S 145-445 (usually have to wake her- DS naps from 130-430 and it's super quiet, so she naps wonderfully!)
E 445
A 5-730, then bath, swaddle
E 745 then bed
S 8p-8a (no dream feed, no night waking at all)
