Author Topic: 4-1/2 month old screams at bedtime  (Read 1167 times)

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Offline Avababy

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4-1/2 month old screams at bedtime
« on: October 22, 2013, 00:03:29 am »
I have a four and half month old girl that has always been bad with sleep. She has never slept through the night and often wakes, usually every three hours. It's constantly been a fight to get her to sleep, hours of fussing and crying at both nap times and bed time. She has recently started pushing me away, arching her back and giving off a high pitched scream at night before bedtime. It took three hours yesterday to get her down. Pu/pd leads to this hysterical crying, same with CIO (I couldn't go longer than 3 mins so I wouldn't say I really tried CIO). She gets so upset I want to start crying. She doesn't take a paci, but likes her thumb, yet I can't just put her thumb in her mouth for her.

Our schedule was way off the past three weeks (there were two family passings and holidays where we were out of town) so she often slept on me. Now she is in her crib and freaks out at bedtime whenever I go in there. I tried our room too and she still freaks. She sleeps in her swing for naps as this was the only way to get her to sleep, I'm all for getting her out of the swing, but need to know how to stop the hysterical screams.

Her Rough routine is:
7 am wake and feed
7:30 -8 activity
8ish -10 sleep in swing
10 eat
10:30 activity
Try for a nap but rarely happens
1 pm eat
1:30 Activity
Sometime between now and 3 she'll have a 45 min nap
4pm eat
4:30 activity
Try again for a nap but rare
6pm bath, book eat and bed


I'm constantly watching for sleep cues but she FIGHTS sleep and I battle to get her down. The swing works well so the past few weeks we've just used it to help her get sleepy at certain times for naps.

Once she is down for bed, say at 8 pr 9pm she wakes after 45mins, sometimes she's easy to get back down other nights it takes another hour. Once she's down after that she wakes every three hours, sometimes more. If it's been three hours I feed, if I between she often goes back down with a pick up a kiss and back down. She doesn't fight too much in the middle of the night.

 I am open to anything, I am just at a loss of where to start. Do I just get up tomorrow and say this is how I doing things or is there a transition? How to I calm the freak outs? I tired shush pat about two months ago and she hated every second of it! I tried for every nap and bedtime for a week and it still didn't call her down. The only way she calms down when started is if I take her out of the room or nurse her, sometimes that doesn't even work.

Please help! I'll try anything... I can handle the every three hours but I need to stop the hysterics!

Offline Layla

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Re: 4-1/2 month old screams at bedtime
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2013, 23:11:24 pm »
Hi there and welcome :)

I think you might have a prop issue (swing) as well as in an undertired/overtired loop as it looks like she might need more A and is undertired, which is why she'd be fighting you. At this age, we stopped going by the cues and started going by the clock (within reason, of course). Most 4.5mo's would be on 4hr EASY and that means 2hrs A time. Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

So I would aim for something like this:

7am - wake and eat
9-10.30 - morning nap (doesn't have to be 2hrs long)
Eat when wakes
12.30-2/2.30 - afternoon nap (doesn't have to be 2hrs long)
Eat when wakes
4.30 - catnap (usually 30-45mins)
E - cluster feed
7pm - final E and bedtime

I would try and do the morning and afternoon nap in the cot and you could do the last nap/catnap in the swing if desired. Usually the last nap starts to disappear by 6/7 months (sometimes earlier) and some parents APOP this nap.

If she knows how to self soothe with her thumb, you could gently try and guide her hand to her mouth... but you may find that if she's tired enough to sleep (with the increased A), she will do that on her own. Otherwise, I would suggest the shh/pat method. If she's not crying though there is no need to shh/pat her. If she is, stay with her and shh/pat her until she's settled. Make sure you have a good windown routine so that she knows S is coming up. It doesn't have to be anything fancy - we change nappy, close blinds, put on white noise and I sway with her for a few minutes and then pop her in her cot.

Here is a link on how to transition: 3-4hr EASY Transition – In 5 Minute Increments

At night, I used to try and stick to the same feeding schedule as during the day - so if she wakes anywhere from 4hrs onwards, feed her and pop her back to sleep but if its before, try and settle her with shh/pat. Just make sure she isn't genuinely hungry though because there is a big GS at 4 months.

See how you go and let me know if you have any questions  :)
« Last Edit: October 22, 2013, 23:14:59 pm by Layla »



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