It's time to fix my 3 yr olds eating habits...

[ZacsMumme]

Thing is he does a lot of exercise, we go out every day and I feel he does need at least a morning snack. Otherwise lunch would be at 10.30 given he has a good breakfast, and will eat lunch with a snack maybe I look at cutting the pm snack, or making it very small. .?..

Yesterday he ate so well. I couldn't believe it. Ok, nothing new, but at least food went in his mouth

He had
Breakfast 7.30 2 x toast (and he has full grain toast and bread too, not white so he is getting good sustainable grains YK) with 1jam 1marmite.
1 x yogurt
Vege juice (diluted)
Water

Morning tea at park 10 - small cheese scone with butter.
Water

Lunch before daycare 12 - 1/2 sandwich (but full piece of bread iykwim with cheese and marmite)
4 x crackers
Water

Snack at daycare 3 - 1 homemade oat and choc chip biscuit and a fruit bar
Water

Dinner 4.30
1/2 toasted sandwich (gawd all he eats is bread! It's a daycare day though so he is in bed so early I don't bother with a proper meal for him as he eats before I have often prepared one - maybe this is a problem???)
1/2 piece of luncheon. (I was shocked usually doesn't eat.)

BT cup of formula

He has a terrible cough develop last night. Not sure if it's croup or not...but he said he felt sore with a headache so no doubt he's caught something else from daycare - when he is sick he gets very fussy with food!

HH he has multivit before brushing teeth and I have probiotics though I admit I've been forgetting to give to him.

----

So...I need a plan.
For the rest of the week I won't say anything about food. Other than here is breakfast etc. I will however make sure he sits at his table, or wherever we are eating even if he doesn't want to eat.

I won't offer a pm snack. Daycare do arvo tea so I will have to on these days, but then they are wonky anyway and he's usually to tired for dinner.

If he doesn't eat his lunch, should I offer it later if he says 'I'm hungry' this is what I have been doing. (Not if he has a go at it, but if he refuses or has 1 bite)

Should I work on offering new foods at a particular time of day at all yet?

[anna*]

Sounds like a plan. I'd make sure fruit or veg are on his plate at every meal. How about doing fruit or veg for snacks?

[ZacsMumme]

Sounds like a plan. I'd make sure fruit or veg are on his plate at every meal. How about doing fruit or veg for snacks?

^^ I want to do this. I know he will have a fit. he DOES like bananas though so could do this. Problem is he will just refuse it then eat more lunch. If I only offer it all day he will eat nothing all day. (I've don't this before!)

At normal meals I include a banana, or slice of apple, or 1 strawberry etc but it's always untouched. (Yesterday i offered some pear but it was refused) I don't know how to get him just to TRY it. He won't eat carrots even! Who doesn't eat carrots! He goes nuts if I put things like chickpeas or green veg on

[Shiv52]

Yes I would start as you mean to do on.  Have a chat and say these are the rules. Mummy makes the meals and the rule is we all stay at the table until everyone is finished eating.  So he doesn't have to eat but he does have to sit with you. I'd keep it really light and breezy and chat chat chat about anything else. Once it's over I'd let them go and clear up. 

I am torn with whether you should reoffer lunch. That is definately a better option than giving him something different but here I don't.  Once a meal is over it's over. And we tend to wait until the next meal.

I'd just concentrate on getting him siting and accepting the meal and different foods for a bit. Then a good next step is to say only give him a small bit of a banana or sandwich and have the rest in the middle of the table and then if he wants more of a preferred food then he needs to eat something else or at the least taste something else on his plate first.   Doesn't work for everyone though.

DH won't eat carrots!!!!!!  I made them last night and he moaned and complained  until Rosa told him he had to try them without moaning and did he want ketchup to dip them in. Yuck!

[Edesanja]

We offer to put their meal in the fridge if they don't want to eat it. Often it's still there in the morning and it gets binned, but if they are still hungry later, they will often be in a better state to eat it later. We didn't want to be offering them screeds of different options. I do one dinner, I'm out of ideas after that - I'm not coming up with other options, so if they're hungry they can eat the dinner! (warmed up of course!)

[Buntybear]

Shiv, I did understand your post. Must be mine that was confusing 

Sara, sounds like a good plan. It will take a while but good luck x

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Spencer hated carrots too..but it turned out she likes them raw and I had always cooked them!  I only re-offer food if it is say a sandwich from lunch I will show them where it is in the fridge if they want it later. I only cook one meal too but our rule is if you dont want what I make you can make something yourself (Masyn has become quite self sufficient in the kitchen  )

[ZacsMumme]

Well last nights dinner the boys had homemade hot potato chips, small cauliflower florets and some lamb. I mixed it up a little and put all in a bowl for each of them. t destroyed his, and went for Zs and Z ate about 6 chips. On the upside he used his fork rather than fingers I guess (clutching much?) I said nothing other than, can I have a chip, can I have a piece of cauliflower.

He's in the 1-0 and in a BBB - last night we had a 2 hr NW which we just don't get he's scared. I'm worried he has so much going on ATM I'm creating a very anxious little boy

[michaeljacknnugg]

Well done you for not saying anything, that must have been hard!

He's a sensitive little soul, sounds like he has a lot going on. Can you cut afternoon snack down and leave it at that for now?

Asking DS if I can have some of 'his' food (which is in a bowl in the middle of the table) gets him to eat more so maybe you're on the right track there!

[Emami]

I think you are doing great not making a big deal out of meals, it is so hard not to!

But mostly I just want to say wrt this:

He's in the 1-0 and in a BBB - last night we had a 2 hr NW which we just don't get he's scared. I'm worried he has so much going on ATM I'm creating a very anxious little boy

It's the opposite!  YOU are not creating an anxious little boy, you are the constant and consistency he needs while things around him are changing and scary.  It's so easy to blame yourself when things are off kilter but give yourself credit for all the good stuff too (easier said than done I know)

Could the NW and picking at food be because he isn't feeling well?  How's his cough?

[Shiv52]

Hugs xx

If it makes you feel any better R ate ONE chip at dinner. Not the beans. Not the lovely chicken. Not the cucumber. ONE chip.

I wonder if it's just tiredness too Sara. When we were dropping Rs nap she was a nightmare and rarely ate dinner. Now she's started preschool and is just so so much tireder in the evenings and is back to not eating dinner so I'm thinking she's just too far gone. 

I honestly don't make a big deal. DH does and then R gets all annoyed asking is she a good girl for eating or no?  Whereas I just don't put any pressure on. She does know there is nothing else. And no junk good if healthy food isn't eaten. And she's ok with that so I think she just isn't up for eating dinner.

[Mama_Mia]

Wow, hugs Sara..

I wish I had the problem of M not eating. He eats ALL day long and grows 5 inches every 6 months.

But I was just wondering if you have tried all the different fruits? Many days I will give M a plateful of fruit for a snack, this week he has been having strawberries ,blueberries, plums, apples and tomatoes all sliced and laid out nicely on his plate and 3 minutes later he is asking for more of whichever he liked best that day. He eats all of it but somedays he wants more strawberries or whatever and somedays he just wants more of all of it. ..

As far as things he doesnt like, well to be honest there isnt much he refuses to eat, but hamburger is one he wont touch. He isnt upset about it or anything he just eats around it if I make hamburger helper or something else with hamburger in it. I just dont bother making anything I know he doesnt like. There are plenty of foods out there that can give him the same vitamins and minerals he needs without forcing a hated food on him. But on the other hand, if he is super picky like my 19yo DS was as a toddler then I would give a multi vitamin daily and dont worry too much, they do outgrow the picky stage.

I had a little giggle over him eating just bread, my DS (19yo) wouldnt touch bread at this age, if I gave him a sandwhich he would lick the pb&J off and give me the bread back. He didnt start eating bread until he was about 7

[creations]

hugs Sara, like pps have said you aren't making and anxious boy by offering healthy foods.

Just wondering what he has in his sandwiches at lunch and if he will accept different types of bread?
He appears to like marmite, have you tried offering a blob on his plate as a dip?  DS won't try *everything* with a dip but I tend to let him have a dip of something on his plate, gravy or mayo, ketchup, I've even given a dip of just lemon juice which he was happy with.

[ZacsMumme]

Yes I would start as you mean to do on.  Have a chat and say these are the rules. Mummy makes the meals and the rule is we all stay at the table until everyone is finished eating.  So he doesn't have to eat but he does have to sit with you. I'd keep it really light and breezy and chat chat chat about anything else. Once it's over I'd let them go and clear up. 

Worked well last night. Said everything on his plate was yucky so I said 'that's. Ok you don't have to eat but you do have to sit with mummy, daddy and T while we eat.' Eventually he ate his potato (which he likes) and asked about chickpeas but didn't eat them. Tom ate everything lol (plate was potato chips - chunky homemade ones, chickpeas, small piece of gf crumbed hoki, beans and 1/2 small lamb pattie. ) DH and I had a nibble too as dinner was at 5 (t had BT at 6.20) and I'm on WW so had a WW meal planned that both boys couldn't eat any.

He waited and politely asked to get down.

Here's the thing though. He asked for toast later and I said he could have it. Separate to dinner like at 7...But is this a big no no?

I honestly don't make a big deal. DH does and then R gets all annoyed asking is she a good girl for eating or no?  Whereas I just don't put any pressure on. She does know there is nothing else. And no junk good if healthy food isn't eaten. And she's ok with that so I think she just isn't up for eating dinner.

I need this as my mantra...if he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat...and that's ok. I get all stressy about it YK?

Mama_c I have tried every fruit! Even dried. He only seems to want it in things I was so close to him having a strawberry yesterday but then 'no way! Mummy eat it. arrrggghhhhh

Just wondering what he has in his sandwiches at lunch and if he will accept different types of bread?
He appears to like marmite, have you tried offering a blob on his plate as a dip?  DS won't try *everything* with a dip but I tend to let him have a dip of something on his plate, gravy or mayo, ketchup, I've even given a dip of just lemon juice which he was happy with.

He will eat different bread. Doesn't fancy white bread. Used to only eat an open sandwich but he's over that now!
I offered marmite, jam or cheese yesterday I think it was and he never likes cheese and he said cheese! So I made marmite and cheese which he ate. Probably only because I grated the cheese, but baby steps.

Hates dips....I know. He's mad! I...love dips! I often have dips, he refuses. I mean  this kid doesn't even eat mcdonalds chicken nuggets. (Not that we go there a lot but wtf!)

But mostly I just want to say wrt this:

He's in the 1-0 and in a BBB - last night we had a 2 hr NW which we just don't get he's scared. I'm worried he has so much going on ATM I'm creating a very anxious little boy

It's the opposite!  YOU are not creating an anxious little boy, you are the constant and consistency he needs while things around him are changing and scary.  It's so easy to blame yourself when things are off kilter but give yourself credit for all the good stuff too (easier said than done I know)

Could the NW and picking at food be because he isn't feeling well?  How's his cough?

thank you. I feel I'm failing him
I do think he isn't 100% and were in a crazy patch with sleep. Give him a nap and he's up till 10pm so I'm breaking that today - so I guess I know he won't be perfect. I just wish he ate one veg, and 1 fruit. I know I've caused this by letting it slide. When t was horrendous I would throw a biscuit at Z on the couch so he would stay quiet while I rocked T

[ZacsMumme]

Btw thank you all. I really am considering and trying everything you all say