Author Topic: I thought toddlers were supposed to charge around....  (Read 1469 times)

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Offline Miamamma

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I thought toddlers were supposed to charge around....
« on: November 02, 2013, 21:17:20 pm »
Hello ladies. I am a very active person and was looking forward to the 'running, jumping, climbing' toddler years. However, DD is not like this at all. She has never been a very agile child and isn't confident climbing etc. She loves the swings at the park but isn't interested in going on anything else these days. I'm just worried that she just isn't active enough. She loves to dance or be chased around the house but overall prefers quieter 'role play' or creative play. I take her to soft play areas and parks etc regularly and most of the time it feels like a wasted trip.
I am also getting increasingly frustrated with her as she is turning into a proper little push chair addict. She used to be quite good at walking short distances and only hopping in the pram once she was tired or for longer journeys. In fact we have gone through fazes of her hating to be put in it!
Since the arrival of DS 9 weeks ago though, she has wanted to be pushed everywhere. She will walk around the supermarket or other 'interesting' places but not along the road. Most of the time we use her usual push chair and I have him in the sling. We do have a new double buggy but haven't used it much as DS has reflux and doesn't settle well in it.
Am I worrying unnecessarily? Do any other ladies have 'less active' toddlers? I love my DD to pieces and want to accept her as she is but can't help worrying that she's not 'normal'.  :-\


Offline Hedgehog17

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Re: I thought toddlers were supposed to charge around....
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2013, 22:08:43 pm »
Don't worry, mine isn't the charging around sort either!

He has always been at the later end with his gross motor skills, and isn't confident at things like climbing, so playgrounds and soft play have always been a bit of a waste for him too (although I do take him when I can).

At just turned 3yo he has started doing a lot more now, so I think it's one of those things that just happens when they are ready, like talking. My DS can talk the hind legs off a donkey whereas other kids his age are just about putting 2 words together!

I know it's hard not to be concerned when other LOs are doing all this physical stuff and yours isn't - I have had many threads on here about DS and his lack of activity - but with hindsight I can say they really do all get there in the end  :)

HTH a bit  :-*

Offline becj86

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Re: I thought toddlers were supposed to charge around....
« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2013, 23:10:28 pm »
As the pram is getting more use since LO2 came along, it could just be 'being a baby' roleplay which is very normal for when a new LO joins the family. DS does this every now and then just after seeing a baby, let alone having a new one around all the time.

Is she truly not being active when playing creatively? L is often climbing/riding/running but its all in imaginative play - going to buy butter, then bread, then a knife... going to pick up friends and bring them to our place... putting out fires, whipper-snipping, cutting down trees, etc. He is moving whilst he's doing all of that and I imagine she's moving a lot that you're not necessarily crediting, yk?

Offline Miamamma

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Re: I thought toddlers were supposed to charge around....
« Reply #3 on: November 03, 2013, 08:29:07 am »
Thank you ladies. I guess she does move around quite a bit whilst she does her role play etc. and I had wondered whether DSs arrival might have had an impact on her buggy use. I think I just need to adjust my expectations when I take her places. This morning we are going to a lake which has a beach area and play park. When we go there, I watch other toddlers scrambling over everything, getting wet and sandy. Then there is DD, who asks for the swings and then demands to get back in the pram...such a shame. She also talks ALOT so maybe the physical stuff will come later...


Offline MJ&N

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Re: I thought toddlers were supposed to charge around....
« Reply #4 on: November 03, 2013, 08:45:55 am »
I think they all develop different skills at different times. I had the whirlwind toddler who never sat still and found it quite stressful as I had to be continuously monitoring his every move to make sure he stayed safe.

My DS was so focussed on developing his motor skills that stuff like reading and writing took a back seat. Now that his fine motor ability has caught up he's expressing his imagination through wonderful crafts and stories as well as using his body. I'm betting your Dd has been working on her fine motor stuff?

Keep giving her the opportunities, and when she's ready she will take them. Having a friend there to egg her on might help!
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Offline creations

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Re: I thought toddlers were supposed to charge around....
« Reply #5 on: November 03, 2013, 09:37:16 am »
Agree with pps not to worry etc.
Also, I find with my DS that he responds more positively to certain environments/contexts for types of play. For instance songs and actions at the end of a free play toddler group he is NOT interested in and appears as though he doesn't know the words or actions and looks totally anti-social but take him to a class that is specifically music/songs/actions and he follows everything with great focus.  Similarly he usually wont' join in any dance type songs at toddler group, but enjoys his ballet class (with some of the same songs!).  Will rarely do crafts activities (or just spend 30 seconds on it) at toddler group but loved a 1.5hr mark-making class.
So, you might find that the play parks and soft play are overwhelming for her or that she may respond more positively if she went to a small but dedicated movement class like ballet, tumble-tots or mini-movers type thing.  Sometimes they will let you do a few trial classes before signing up for a whole term.
DS has always like the play parks and soft play etc so it's not the same here, but I did find he needed to be taught how to use the equipment, he didn't just scramble up there like other kids appear to, didn't really want to explore the equipment independently but once shown he has much great confidence, more than some much older kids.


Offline Miamamma

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Re: I thought toddlers were supposed to charge around....
« Reply #6 on: November 03, 2013, 11:53:22 am »
 Yes, thank you for giving me some perspective. I have been focusing so much on what she doesn't do that I forget her strengths. She is very creative and imaginative; loves drawing, retelling stories and will talk to imaginary characters (it's a bit trippy sometimes....this morning she was talking to a mermaid in the trees, telling her to be careful not to fall out!) I agree, much of her reluctance to get stuck into physical stuff is because of the environment. If a place is too new/busy/cold/muddy etc then she isn't interested at all. Birthday parties are often a disaster. However she does climb on small things at play groups once she has 'warmed up' to the place iykwim? I might try starting ballet classes with her as she seems quite keen on dance. Thanks again for making me see the bigger picture. I find myself stressing over everything these days.  ::)


Offline MJ&N

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Re: I thought toddlers were supposed to charge around....
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2013, 12:12:04 pm »
There's always something to worry about!
My 'little man' - kind-hearted Spirited whirlwind, 2008
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Offline ellenjess

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Re: I thought toddlers were supposed to charge around....
« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2013, 17:01:22 pm »
Hey miamamma
There are 2 years between my 2, and since DS came along 4+ months ago, DD has wanted to be pushed everywhere in her buggy too, despite previously being happy to walk.  I agree that there is a bit of regression/'working it out' for the toddler when a new baby comes along.  My DD IS an active one, but she lacks in other ways (oh heck that's a rubbish way to put it, but ykwim!) such as talking - she's been a bit slower than her buddies, but her balance and confidence at physical stuff is excellent.  She is all about free play though, like Creations said, the context definitely matters.  DD loves running round the park but not necessarily doing things "properly" eg she'd much rather run up the slide than slide down it, and we had been going to Tumbletots - when we were in the youngest group it was more free play based, but in the mid-age group it is structured and she doesn't like it anymore - possibly the opposite to how your DD would find it?  Likewise she hates the free library singing sessions because they're over crowded, but loves the EXACT same thing in a class that I now pay to attend which has lots of space. 
It's hard to not worry though, I get that.  I'm always thinking I wish she'd talk more or I wish this or that, I have to keep telling myself to stop it!  They do get there eventually, I'm sure we won't bat an eyelid when our second babies face the same hurdles.
xx

ps mermaids in trees is very funny!!  My DD probably doesn't know what a mermaid is cos she hardly ever sits still long enough to read a flippin book! ;o)

Offline skatty

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Re: I thought toddlers were supposed to charge around....
« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2013, 17:13:28 pm »
I do think some of this could be personality and there is nothing wrong with that! My dd was the typical energetic toddler but my friend's dd the same age was into calmer more creative things, I still remember when she was 2 and sat and the table and strung beads on a string even though it was so hard, she stuck at it for an hour and I was so impressed, no way would my dd have done that! This little girl is almost 7 now and still prefers to colour and craft, in fact most of the girls we know do! Even now this little girl wouldn't like a soft play, too noisy, too many kids but she loves her Wii Dance and trampoline etc  ;) BTW enjoy the fact she likes the pushchair, it comes in useful sometimes and she is still very, very young! You really don't have anything to worry about, she sounds perfect and so much fun  :-*
Katt






Offline LovelyLilyandJack

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Re: I thought toddlers were supposed to charge around....
« Reply #10 on: November 16, 2013, 19:15:23 pm »
My daughter is definitely not a teararound type,  was slow to jump,  is only just learning to hop,  is very slow and unadventurous at soft play etc., but this last year I've really seen her working on her physical skills whereas before it was all about language,  imaginative play and fine motor skills.  Anyway, she's catching up now so just wanted to say it does all balance out in the end (Though lily will never be a really physical girl I don't think.  I definitely see her as more of a creative type than being into sports,  for example, so I think a lot is personality too.)



Offline amayzie

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Re: I thought toddlers were supposed to charge around....
« Reply #11 on: November 16, 2013, 21:50:22 pm »
Oh- i just saw this! My DS is the OPPOSITE of the tear around type!! Everyone ele says things like 'oh we can never use the stroller anymore- they just won't HAVE it!' where DH loves a good sit in the stroller to watch the world go by! He's always been on the cautious side and was not late as such with is milestones, but definitely towards the upper end!! Walked at 16 months for example- and still can't jump. Not late as such- but if it were a race (which it's not) he'd be at the back of the pack!! My mum is getting him a trampoline for christmas and has joked that it will be a great place for him to read books!
Katy, Mummy to Hamish!