Hi - I need help, not sure what to do, but here's some background -
My son is almost 7.5 months old and has never slept through the night, but recently has been waking every 1-2 hours after an initial stretch of maybe 3 hours, tops. I give in and feed him most times because nothing else is really working anymore. I need more uninterrupted sleep and so does my son.
He typically goes to bed at 6:30 pm on his own (routine: nurse, bath, pjs, sound machine, 2 stories, then lullaby, I put him in awake and leave the room, he fusses for about 10 minutes then goes to sleep - we've done this for about 4 months) and after at least 4 wakings, more often 6, he wakes for the day between 5:30 and 6:30 am. His daycare routine is so different than it is at home on weekends, where he can go 3.5 to 4 hours between nursing. At daycare, he will have either 2 or 3 naps for about 2-3 hours total for the day. At home it's usually 3 naps, ranging from 30 minutes to an hour and a half each. Daycare has to offer a bottle every 3 hours, unless he is sleeping, which means he is not eating at consistent times in the day - sometimes bottles are before a nap which I dislike, other times they are during play time, sometimes right when he wakes (and he often refuses because he's not quite hungry) - 11, 2, and 4:30. Other times they are 10, 1, and 3:30. I really think it is messing us up at nights now. He naps around 8:30am for an hour (sometimes 1.5 hours) if he wakes at 6am and has another nap around 12:30 or 1 for an hour (sometimes only 45 minutes). He might have a cat nap around 4 or 4:30. Basically, they don't believe in schedules at this age. I fully disagree, but can't do anything about it
We've also started solids - he gets applesauce in the morning at daycare. I wanted to do baby led weaning, but by the time we get home at 5, there really isn't much time for food and I thought it might bother his tummy at night. Food before 1 is for fun?
How can I break the nurse association in the middle of the night? He falls asleep on his own at bedtime. My husband thinks we need to start waking him every 3 hours to feed him so he doesn't think I'm feeding him because he's awake and crying, but I don't want to feed him so often at night if he's really not hungry - last night was 5 times - mostly due to comfort. It used to be 2, sometimes 3 feedings.
He has a lovey, doesn't take a pacifier (although we haven't tried since he was about 3 months), and sometimes sucks his thumb.
I guess I need to pick a method and be consistent, but don't know which is best. I've tried waiting 10 minutes before going to him, going to him right away and rocking him then putting him down awake, but he still cries. I've tried rubbing his back in the crib, saying shhhh go to sleep, sitting in the room with him, but no matter what I try, he cries and gets really mad (up to 1.5 hours, which I feel like is the most I want to go) until I feed him. The few times I do get him back to sleep without nursing, he wakes up within a half hour crying so I think maybe he was hungry and feed him. Also, if I do a partial feed, he gets upset and wakes sooner than if I give a full feed.
I thought he can go longer than 2 hours between feeds at night, but I'm losing my mind and questioning everything I do. My husband thinks it would be a good idea to set my alarm every 3 hours to feed him. I hate this idea; we never did that even when he was an infant. I don't even know if we should introduce a dream feed? We've never done one before, but maybe he really is hungry the first waking that comes as soon as 8:45/9:30? Or is it 3 hours after he falls asleep (if not over tired), he goes to his next sleep cycle and can't fall asleep
I feel like I've written a book - sorry this is so long, but I really don't know what to do anymore. Please help! Thank you.