Desperate for sleep after 10 months! Going back to work soon

[Aapppffff]

Hi

I'm really struggling to understand how to reduce night wakings in my 10 month old. I really need her to sleep for longer periods of time because I'm going back to work in 6 weeks and there is no way on earth I could do my job with the amount of sleep I've been surviving on this far!

Over the last few weeks we have successfully weaned her off the boob to sleep for naps, and those naps are regularly over an hour (bet it will change now I've written it down though!). I've tried to get her to drink more milk during the day so that she is t as hungry during the night but she just won't take it.

Her routine is
06:45 wake & milk
08:00 breakfast
09:00 Milk (have done naps without this feed but she still won't have milk when she wakes)
09:15 Nap
10:30 A (have tried offering milk but drinks only for a minute or so at best if at all, regards of milk before or not)
12:00 lunch
12:45 A
13:30 Nap
15:00 Milk (has a bottle here and only drinks about 2-4oz, have tried offering noon but won't drink it)
17:30 dinner
18:00 bath & wind down
18:45 Milk
19:00 sleep
21:00 milk
21:20 sleep
01:00 milk
01:20 sleep
04:00 milk
04:20 sleep
06:45 wake and start all over again! Sometimes will skip milk here if her 04:00 waking is around 5ish

3 wakings during the night is normal although this can go to 4 or 5 and a few times she has woken just once but I cannot seem to repeat these! She also had a spell some months ago where she was sleeping a 6 hour stretch at night but no idea where that went or how to get it back!

Help greatly appreciated.

[Layla]

Hi there and hugs for the night wakings.

I would work on eliminating 1 feed at a time and start with the 9pm feed, which she probably doesn't need since she's eaten at 7pm. Its not going to be easy and she will protest and cry but if you continue to feed her, she will continue to wake. I would try and settle her in the cot without picking her up... try saying your sleepy phrase "you're ok, its time to sleep" (or something like that), try rubbing her back (she may/may not like this) or pat the mattress, etc... and ONLY pick her up if she's very upset until she's calm and then back in the cot. It might work better if your DH can help our - I swear when I go to settle J, she takes twice as long as when DH goes in because she knows he won't BF her lol!

At 10 months, some babies are still on 2 night feeds - dd1 stopped night feeds altogether by this age but dd2 still held onto 1 until around 12 months.

Routine wise, I would also look at adding a little more A before her morning nap - most can do 3-3.5hrs but don't let her sleep longer than 1hr so that she continues to take a good afternoon nap.

We do milk at morning wake up, after morning nap, after afternoon nap and before bedtime - try and hold off the 9am milk feed until after her morning nap.

What do you think?

[Aapppffff]

Thank you for quick reply!

We have made a lot of progress to this point with naps etc and only in the last. 3 weeks has she been able to out her down for naps. He's really willing to help but at the moment he's away a lot with work. Perhaps we will have to do this over Christmas hols!!!

I've tried dropping the 9pm feed already but she just goes mental! I completely agree that she's not hungry though! Much will need dh here to do this with me I think.

When dd is in her cot she climbs up to standing and rattles the sides of the cot getting very annoyed with me if I don't pick her up. I've tried patting the mattress and telling her she needs to sleep etc but she doesn't for this nap. I tried so hard last night that she was awake for 3 hours and I eventually gave in and slept in her room with her in the bed rather than her in her cot. How do I manage this or would I be best wait until dh is here for a few nights in a row to do this feed removal?

Thanks again

A x

[Layla]

Sounds like you've made a lot of progress - you will however need to be very consistent with the night wakings. I would pick maybe 2 times when you will feed her (a stretch of 4-6 hours she should be able to do by now) and so you don't feed her if she wakes before then. When she wakes at 9pm, is she crying? Is it just whinging? If she's mantra crying you don't need to be in there either. Only if her cries turn into "I need you" cry, you would go in there. Don't play the game of laying her down.

Given that she's never been an independent sleeper, I think gradual withdrawal would work best. I've attached a link for you to look through
Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

You have a big job ahead of you hun and it will be hard but it will all be worth it and we're here to help you get through it! Teaching her to sleep on her own and sleep well at night will benefit her (and no doubt you) more than you can imagine.

Let me know what you think

[Aapppffff]

Hi again

The sleep training / teaching is not going very well at all

Last week my mother in law was visiting and this weekend my parents were visiting. On both occasions dd's sleep has deteriorated each night. I can only put this down to different people in her day resulting in less mummy time, and she wants to catch up / be reassured I'm here at night. And I've been so tired that I'm sleeping in her room in a double bed with her.

I'm back to work in 7 weeks and really don't know how baby and I will cope. I'm between minds on childcare - nanny or combination of nanny and nursery. The thoughts of nursery scares me as I wouldn't be able to cope with a sick baba as well as one that isn't sleeping through the night.

When I do have days that it's just me and baba mostly - we sometimes visit friends etc though we do go out everyday, to get her to sleep I have to talk her through a relaxation of her body which works but at the moment it only works when she's in my arms. I used to be able to do it when she was lying in her cot. Don't know how the gradual withdrawal would work here...?

Thanks for suggestions.

[Layla]

Big (((hugs))),

I've only had to do GW with dd1 but she was much older and she was scared of something in her room and I had to stay with her and slowly move to the door until I was out of there. We weren't co sleeping though and I think she was close to 3yo. I've found a link for you though that will cover using the gentle removal plan to stop co-sleep and other props/associations. Let me know what you think once you've read through the link. It won't be easy but it's definitely do-able. The key think would be to stay consistent!

Gentle Removal Plan