We are chipping away at our LOs sleep problems one by one with the great information, help, and support from these boards. A real lifesaver! We have donated to the site and will do so again!
Our BFed 9 mo is now down to 2 NF, 11ish and 3ish. I would like to drop the 3ish one, NF2. I'm not sure about our approach, described below, and could use some help, please.
1. "No earlier than" approach. He often cries before the 11ish or 3ish (used to be 11:30 ish and 3:30 ish, that tells me something) feeds. When he wakes before these times, DH tries to soothe him to sleep so we don't reward him for waking. If not sleep, at least calm. Often, as last night, he cries harder and harder until he sounded completely desperate and nowhere near sleep. So I fed him. I wasn't willing to let him scream until collapse.
2. Dream feed- the point is to sneak in while he's asleep, right? Not to let him wake first. Rarely seem to achieve this. If it's hard to tell if he woke before I got there, I feed him anyway. By the time my eyes adjust, he might be awake or if sleeping restlessly, he wakes as I approach.
3. Reducing feed with Gentle Removal - Since I BF, I can't measure less milk or dilute it, so I count the minutes. He consistently finishes around 6-7 min, but it also takes 3 min for letdown. I plan to try every 3 days to stop one minute sooner before doing the first unlatch. If he cries, I let him relatch, wait 10-30 s and then try unlatching again; repeat until he acquiesces. I may not have done it quite right these first few times, but it seemed he just kept coming back for more until he got his fill. Since his wakings are relatively regular, it shouldn't be hunger. My hope is he'll eventually learn it's not worth it and lose interest in this feeding.
Should we expect Gentle Removal to take weeks? Would an alternative be to move DF2 earlier until it merges with DF1? Or can you give me some tips to make GR more effective/ stay the course? He almost never stays asleep to 7 AM target WU anyway, so I wonder if moving DF2 earlier would make EW worse.
Special circumstances:
A. Being sick. When they're sick or teething, is it recommended to give them comfort even if it's AP and extra nursing? He has a cold, just a runny nose. Doesn't seem to bother him, may have made him a little cranky, a little more tired. The runny nose doesn't seem to make it hard to breathe/nurse. He's kind of teething, but I haven't noticed any extra fussing. He barely notices shots, so he's pretty low-key. In other words, no special treatment for the cold/teething seems called for.
B. Special tired night. This a big one. Once a week he has an activity (just started) that seems to leave him pretty tired. He doesn't climb in the bath or squirm being dressed for bed, and he
stayed asleep until I lifted him! for both dream feeds! This is huge and I wonder if/how I can take advantage of it. Could I see if he'll sleep through and skip the second DF? Would that backfire on non-activity nights? What should I expect/do if he does wake up for the second DF on activity night, or if not on tired night, then on the next night?
Last night he didn't seem too hungry at DF2. I gave him a lot of chances then finally put him in his crib. Seemed OK briefly, then yelled. Louder and louder, unflagging, until again we couldn't take it anymore and fed him. He did eat then and slept well.
Many thanks for help and support!
