Mummies I REALLY need your help

[babybarr]

I just can't get this routine thing going.  Every day is different with one or other waking at a different time.  We stopped waking one to feed in the night as it was always that one who then vomited as we were obviously giving them food before they actually *needed* it.  This has resulted in each of them going longer stretches at night but often one has two nf and the other only has 1.  This means one feeds perhaps at 4am then the other at 5am and then one wakes much earlier than the otheror I can't get one back to sleep.  Our days are a mess.  Nothing I try particularly works on a regular basis and no ap seems to work either.  yesterday I managed to get both boys down for an am nap which they slept 2hrs 15mins - tried today spent 30mins getting them both to sleep for them to wake 20mins later.  I've tried less A time I just don't know what to do anymore.  I need them to sleep during the day else they are just screaming.

Any help most welcome.

[kayra]

hugs Laura! obviously no experience-yet:P- but was there some kind of a perfect A time when they had that long nap? Was there anything you could see in that day that may have helped with such a nap? you said you've tried less A time but could it possibly be more A time they need? obviously both could be different in that regard too ...
Are they still together, have you tried completely separating them at sleep time so they don't wake each other at least?
Have you tried tummy sleeping? I know it's not advised overall but DS would NOT sleep on his back but slept wonderfully on his tummy, he had very good control of his neck, I'd check on him frequently etc.
Do they like soft music as a kind of wind down? will either take the dummy?
sorry it's just questions, trying to brainstorm..

[babybarr]

The A time was 1hr 20mins.  I did the same this morning.  They are now separated at nap time (in same room at night) both have same routine and both sleep on their tummies already!  J will sometimes take the dummy but it's hit and miss and didn't help.  H is significantly less fussed by it.  They had longer A times before and just woke at 20mins.  Honestly Kayra (and I know I shouldn't say this to you!) but I'm losing the plot fast here!  I honestly couldn't care less if they catnapped and were happy but I can't take the crying *just* because they are tired yk?

[kayra]

oh i totally understand, this isn't a "i want them to sleep so i can put my feet up" situation, you want them to sleep b/c they need it! Don't worry about me I'm under no false illusions about how difficult it's going to be
Do you think it's reflux related? I have no experience with reflux so wouldn't know what to suggest if it is... Is there anything they seem to enjoy? Are they happy if you wear them? How about if you drastically shortened the A time to say just an hour? At least if they're UT you'll get 45min instead of 20

[babybarr]

I don't know if the reflux is under control.   I hear them reflux a lot and also even cuddling them isn't particularly helping.  We're supposed to see a paed at some point I just don't know when... boy I hope it's soon.

If I put them down UT they just end up OT after not sleeping for ages.

[Deuce2]

I feel your pain. Napping in my house with 4 mo old twins is a disaster. How old are your babies?

[my3girlsjde]

So many hugs hun. I know how hard this is. Of the reflux isn't controlled then the EASY isn't going to go easy They need reflux help if you're hearing it and you have doubts of their comfort. Reflux throws a wrench into everything

Will they settle in a swing or a bouncer at all? Now is the time for APOP to get everyone through. If they're in any discomfort then they're going to struggle with everything. Have you tried the sling? I know the nights are hard but if you could get them down for a good nap (hopefully together) then you can have a chance to catch up yourself.

Fx time waiting for the paed goes.quickly.

[kayra]

Hope you get to see the paed asap! Does your mum still come around during the day? If you had some help maybe you could focus on one and try to figure him out..? I wish I had something useful to say so many many hugs!

[ZacsMumme]

Just hugs and love darling
Did you ever try the colic calm? - it worked really well in the evenings for T and he struggled to tolerate much at all.

[babybarr]

Can't seem to get colic calm v easily here.

The biggest problem I have is when they're up at separate times in the night how can I get them even remotely doing the same thing during the day. Wed and thurs night they both only woke once around 5am and went back down till about 8am. It has then meant I've managed to get them sleeping at times together. Granted not for long and not without intervention but nonetheless on a 'routine'  struggling to do that on a regular basis esp when they throw up in their bed

[Shiv52]

Hi lovely

Over here to give you some support. I wonder are you better giving a good routine a really consistent try for a bit. Have you any of the BW books?  You know the chapter about starting a routine and keeping  at it for 4-5 days. It's so hard with two though. But it may well be worth giving it a go. Is your mum about this week to give you a hand resettling at nap times.

I think if you work off a 1.10/1.15 A time?  To avoid OT.

What is your general  routine in terms of obligations?  Do you have to leave O to school?  What time do you have to leave to pick him up?  Do you DF?

[Uglybethy]

Hi Laura
Supporting you from here too!
Let us know how you get on with starting the easy!
And I agree... Edge on the side of caution and go under tired rather than overtired for naps in the beginning...
Best wishes
Beth

[babybarr]

Ok so basically I couldn't commit to gettin them down in their beds before 9am I can easily get them to nap in the swings say for 45mins if I'm lucky. Then I have to do school run I leave at 3pm so what can you give me to work on?!  Last night Harry slept from 7.30 till 6.15 and j slept 8 till 5.15 then back to sleep till 6.45.  We don't df due to being sick cos we used to df the sleeping one but they'd always vomit hence demand feeding. Resettling is impossible with these two! J may take the dummy and h may go off with white noise. I won't have help so I'll have to manage.

They both have slept for a couple of hrs for a nap in their beds before. They settle to bed at night independently and obviously can self settle else they'd wake more.

[babybarr]

Oh and how long a time after 45min nap?

[babybarr]

Thought I'd also add today I wrote some of Harry's a times down. He did a 45min nap after being up an hr and 45mins then did an hr nap after being up 1.5hrs. Both naps in the swing though. Rest of the day was shot just awful ot 20min naps.

Need to know where to start cos if they're ut they don't go down and it takes forever.