Getting newborn to sleep independently

[Miyuki7881]

My DD is 3 weeks old.  I have been breastfeeding her and each feed takes 40mins to an hour.  She lasts anywhere from 2 to 4 hours between feeds.  She falls asleep on the breast almost every feed.  After I put her in the cot, she stretches a bit and goes to sleep in her swaddle.  However, she wakes up after a couple of minutes and can't be resettled unless I carry her to sleep.

I have tried sh/pat.  Sometimes she would get drowsy,her eyes will open and close and just as she is about the to drop off she fully wakes up.  After that she just simply refuses to go to sleep unless I carry her.  The whole process takes about 2 hours by which time it's time for her next feed or she would have a very short nap before the next feed.

How do I train my DD to sleep independently when she either falls asleep on the breast or needs to be carried to sleep?  Secondly, how do I implement EASY?  I normally change her nappy when swopping breasts as that's the best way to wake her to finish off her feed.  If I were to open up her nappy after the full feed and settle her, she would have done more than an hour of A time.

One other thing, my DD naps better during the day.  The problem with her waking herself from the drowsy stage tends to happen at night.  My mil says I should try to keep DD more awake during the day so that she would be tired enough to sleep at night.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I do agree with your mil...to a point...you can only keep a newborn up for so long! If you are even separating the E from S by a short diaper change that is doing EASY! It gets more spaced out as they wake up more, I swear DD3 did not even open her eyes for the first few weeks! As for independent sleep, while I tried to start every nap letting her attempt to settle, I was more interested in establishing good naps and working on self soothing as she got older so I did (and still do) rely on some props to help - soother, wrap/sling, holding. For now I concentrate on having her self settle for her first nap of the day.

[*Kara*]

Agree with Heidi..

Your baby is still very very little/new.  One independent sleep a day is the goal at this age.. more important to get BFing established and ensure that she does sleep when tired.  Newborns are hard work and they are exhausting at the best of times.  Try to remember that she is wired to wake often to eat - her tummy is tiny and she is growing rapidly - she needs to eat often.  Biologically, new babies do wake often and it is survival driven.  It will take momma to the edge, but rest assured things will get better in the next few weeks as she comes out of that sleepy newborn phase and starts to look around at her new world.

In the meantime, enjoy those tiny baby snuggles.. don't feel bad about holding her for sleep.  Remember that she has spent the last 9 months being rocked to sleep to the sound of your heartbeat.  This new world is cold and unfamiliar so needing mommas arms to settle well makes perfect sense.

Many moms just aim for one independent sleep each day (the first nap is typically the easiest), keeping eating and sleeping separate (a bum change is sufficient to break the two up).  EASY will fall into place a bit better around 12 weeks of age, until then, just do your best without worrying so much about following EASY to the letter

You are doing a great job momma.

[lauradj]

Congratulations!  New babies are so exciting  
To be honest, I wouldn't worried about independent sleep right now.  Get to know your baby, learn what each cry sounds like.  What is fussing versus crying?  I tried to do E.A.S.Y. right from the get go and it was too stressful and I had to pull back.  When they're that little they need mom to comfort them, put them to sleep and let them know everything is ok.  You are not going to accidentally parent your child at this age.  My DS learned to sleep independently when he was 10 weeks old.  One day it just clicked, he was old enough to handle it.
 Also, Shh-Pat sometimes works and sometimes does not.  For about a month, patting really irritated my little man, I would rub his back instead.  Now patting is ok again.  I would also recommend you watch Happiest Baby on the Block, as that is another alternative to the Shh-Pat and I used it with HUGE success until my DS was almost 3 months.
Get to know every precious little thing about your wee person because they'll never be that tiny and amazing again.  Everything will come with time, I promise!

[*Kara*]

Absolutely agree ^^^