Trouble Starting EASY due to older siblings

[Joey'sMom]

DS 3 is 8 weeks old. He is a sensitive refluxer (I'm not ready to call him officially touchy just yet!). DS1 & DS2 are 8 years and 5 years old. I am having a heck of a time trying to figure out how to put the time into establishing a good EASY that works for everyone but that allows me the chance to really work with DS3.

First let me say that DS3 has no routine right now. He seems to have longer stretches at night for the most part, last night being an exception because he woke every 3 hours to eat. He does eat every 3 hours now, about 5 oz at a time, sometimes a little less (he is bottle fed; he did not thrive with breastfeeding and as he continued to lose weight for 2 weeks, even with supplementing, we had to go to formula ).

Next, I would LOVE to have a great BT routine, but my bigger boys are having their own issues adjusting to everything, and also still go to bed at 7 every night. I can't seem to manage to create a full-out routine with DS3 and take care of my rambunctious bigger boys. Case in point, right now it is their bedtime and I am trying to settle DS3 for the night, and big brothers are thumping and jumping and making noise just by moving to get ready for bed, and it is continuing to unsettle DS3.

I am super frustrated. HELP! Also, DS3 sleeps in the carseat in my room because of the reflux. Any help in getting him to the crib? DS1 had way worse reflux, but never minded laying flat for night sleep so I am stumped! Thanks in advance!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Hi! My DD3 is almost 17 weeks....it sure is different trying to do EASY with three kids.

For the carseat/crib, have you tried elevating the crib to give the same benefit asnthe incline in the seat? Otherwise we have just sort of had an EASY routine with loads of apop! Bedtime actually was one thing that clicked right away as DD3 loves baths so I bath themall and then the older two read books (either with dh or DD1 reads to DD2) in their rooms while I feed baby in the living room (lolI feed her to sleep every night - but she can self settle for some naps at least ). She is mostly used to her sisters antics now!

[jessmum46]

Is he being medicated for reflux?  Getting that under proper control will be the first step in establishing any sort of routine and healthy sleeping habits.  I agree with Heidi that propping up his mattress on an incline would be much better than having him sleep in the car seat - prolonged periods of time in a car seat is best avoided because it is not good for posture/spinal development and LOs neck and head is really not properly supported.  The safest position for sleep is on his back, though obviously he will need to be comfortable from the reflux point of view to do that. 

I would also agree about the APOP.  I think with two older LOs you just can't devote the time required in the early weeks to sleep training and establishing a 'strict' routine.  I would get yourself a wrap or a sling and unless LO settles easily and quickly in the crib, pop him in there and get on with the day.  Sleep training is likely to be a far quicker process when he is a bit older.

Bedtime wise what about aiming for a 7.30pm BT for DS3 so give you quieter time to settle him once his brothers are in bed?

[goldmom]

We've only got two, but with DD she would (and still does) go to sleep earlier than DS, so I do her BT first and then have time for BT with DS (on the rare occassion she would go to sleep after DS, but that was very hard since I had to hold her while getting him ready). She has also had to learn to settle with a BT routine that included DS jumping, screaming, and touching her while we were getting ready for bed and singing our good night song. I only tried to keep it quiet for her to really settle to sleep after her routine was over and quickly got DS out of the room. DS still jumps in her crib (with her in it) while we sing our BT songs. Not calming, but can't keep the big one out for while action is happening in her room  . When DD was really young she would try to settle by herself at night for a long time some times, without needing my help, so it was ok for me to just leave her for some time even if she wasn't sleeping, with the lights off. 8 weeks is still early and young, there's plenty of time to st, now I would do whatever works and only start thinking more about it when your LO is a little older and more capable of self settling.

Can you try getting your big ones to help with the new baby's BT routine, maybe they can read him a story while you hold him, so it's a little calmer in the room.

[Joey'sMom]

Thank you, ladies!

To answer some of your questions, yes he is being medicated for reflux, but it isn't perfect. Today, for example, was a pretty tough reflux day despite the meds. It's not that I think he needs a different med, because he is a thousand times improved with this one, but sometimes he just has bad days.

I have never had much luck elevating the crib mattress. Like I said, DS1 had awful reflux, which couldn't even be helped with even the strongest meds, so we tried the mattress back then. Today however I did put DS3 in on his side and he was more tolerant of that. He even slept a little, but not much. He really hates to be anything but carried around, which is starting to kill my back.

I have to confess I don't know what APOP is. I've been out of the BW loop for a few years now!

As for the BT routine, my boys are awfully rowdy to be included in any kind of storytelling or BT involvement right now. They try, but things always escalate into a competition between them for funniest, loudest, or silliest. The whole point tends to escape them after a few minutes. I suppose I could bump up their routine and let them read quietly until I finish with DS3, but I'd probably end up feeling rushed with everyone. I think the best thing is the reminder that DS3 is still young and I have time to work all this through.

Thank you, thank you for your responses! Any little bit of advice helps!