Terrible eater help!!!'

[Miraclelim]

I am so stressed out by my 12 mth of daughter. She used to be a great eater up to 8 mth. Went thru a period of two mth that she wouldn't let me spoon feed her so I BLW then back to spoon feed n she is okie. Now the problem is she wouldn't eat unless I let her watch her favourite songs played on YouTube!!!! I have created a monster eater. Help help how do I stop this habit?
We can eat breakfast together so it is the easiest meal. Lunch is hit n miss. Dinner is the worse. She is down to one nap now do dinner is usually very early at 1630/1645.
Her routine is
Wu 0600
0650 milk 6 oz
0830 breskie
1100 lunch
1345/1499 milk 100ml as snack n fruit if needed
1630/1645 dinner
1815 milk 6 0z

Help me pls to break this habit. I don't know where n how to start. I worried she won't eat n will lose wt so I always give in.

[Shiv52]

I'd just stop with the you tube videos. At this age she'll have moved on and forgotten in a week. 

As for the eating I really wouldn't worry too much. Some days mine live on fresh air and they've never lost weight. The best thing at this age is to start healthy eating habits and continue as you mean to go on. So provide meals, healthy and balanced with a variety of foods then it's upto her if she eats. I wouldn't cajole or really mention it at all. Just chat about normal things and let her get on with it. Help only if she needs help.

It is so stressful I know but honestly I just trust mine will eat what they need and I know I can't force them so so long as I'm providing good food and not bribing or offering a million alternatives then I feel I'm doing as much as I can.

[Miraclelim]

Thank you shiv52
What do I do with milk? Do I give more milk if she doesn't eat? Or reduce it so she will eat more. She is also getting more n more fussy with drinking milk....

[weaver]

I wouldn't try to manipulate milk intake in response to what she 's eating, or not. Just stick with what she would normally have.  I know it is super stressful and frustrating for you but all you can do is offer good food,and drink, you can't make her eat or drink. She absolutely will not starve herself, she will take what she needs, even if that looks like almost nothing to you. Hugs!

[Skadiver13]

I just wanted to pop on and say my ds eats like a bird. When an infant he ate far less than the recommended oz's of formula but still gained weight. He eats next to nothing now. Will occasionally have days where he eats very well but most days it's little.  For example this morning he had a 1/4 cup cheerios in coconut milk (he's mspi) and a 4oz yogurt that was it. He had 6oz of milk as a snack but did not want his lunch. Had two bites of a small bagel and that was it. Offered fruit/veggies which he loves didn't want. For dinner he'll have some pasta and carrots but probably will eat maybe 1/4-1/2 cup pasta and 1/4 cup carrots and thats it and then his BT bottle. It's not a lot but I offer food all the time especially if he's skipped lunch. He's just too busy to eat always has been. Wants to do a million other things and will only eat when he's truly very very hungry, otherwise he couldn't be bothered. Someone once said to me you can't make a child sleep you can only offer them the opportunity. I say the same thing about food. You can only offer it you can't make them eat it.

[Shiv52]

I agree with pp. I'd just leave milk
intake as it is.

Any sign of 1yo molars?

[Miraclelim]

Hi shiv52, no signs of molars yet but I know one of her lateral incisors is coming out soon just waiting for it to cut through. Yesterday milk intake dropped in the morning
Wu 160ml milk
Lunch 1130 one Chinese bowl of chicken veg congee
1345 snack milk 100ml, some yoghurt 1.5 tablespoon, blueberries(10), tiny bit of banana
1645 tuna sandwich (refused- first time she has it), mouthful of PB bread, 40g of pouch food, 1.5 inch of banana, blueberries (10)
1800 milk 140ml

Is this enough food/milk for a 12 mth old???

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I find it helps to remember that their stomach (at rest) is roughly the size of their fist...so not very big at all! If you offered plenty of opportunities to eat and that is what she took, then it was enough on that particular day. I would not start offering milk if she skips a meal or eats very little, just carry on as you would have otherwise.

[Miraclelim]

Today she woke up very hungry and had 170ml of milk
0815 breakie 3/4 slice of toast with avocado, 1/4 banana
1100 lunch refused so I offer milk 130ml as snack before nap.
Hoping to offer her lunch again at 1400.
I think she is too tired to eat lunch that is y she refused I don't know, she is so hard to read now. Sometimes I offer her her favourite she still refused.
At least an improvement is she hasn't watched iPad for meals for 2 days. Yeah!!!

[Shiv52]

That's huge progress with the iPad! Well done!!!

Tiredness could definately be a factor. If she has a decent breakfast it may well be better just doing a snack and drink before nap and then doing the bigger meal after nap. Or else another snack then a dinner type meal.  Honestly so long as she eating one decent meal I wouldn't worry very much. 10 blueberries and a third of a banana is pretty good going. 

Is she self feeding all the time now?

[creations]

Hi just stopping by with some support really.  Great to hear you've stopped the screen time during meals.
PP has already mentioned that their tummies are so small.  it is amazing just how small a portion is for a young toddler for instance a 'portion' of fruit is quarter of a fresh fruit (or the child's size fist full of blueberries) and as guidance they need 2 portions of fruit per day. So really 10 blueberries is probably 2 portions if you consider the size of her hand.  A portion of vegetables is only 1 tablespoon so consider how many tablespoons of food were in that chinese bowl of food you mentioned or the 40g pouch of food - perhaps more than you thought?
You may feel better about her diet if you offered a steamed or baked vegetable in place of some of the fruit servings.  When they eat so little it is much easier to give them some of your own family food but if you just need something handy then a can of sweetcorn, kidney beans or chickpeas (in water no salt no sugar) can just be opened, drained and rinsed before serving. They will also keep a couple of days in the fridge or the rest can be thrown into adult stews, soups or curries etc.  I experimented with various beans as my LO wasn't a good protein eater, he didn't like kidney beans for a long time but would happily eat haricot or flageolet beans (and they are fun to chase around and pick up just like a blueberry), and I made little bean burgers with the rest of the can, cooked, cooled then froze them to use another day.
LOs need more grains servings than I had imagined so don't worry if she just wants a half slice of bread/toast, a few crackers or a quarter cup of pasta with just butter on, it is actually fine for a small toddler.  She may like a 'deconstructed sandwich' so she can see all the parts of it on her plate rather than have the whole thing put together then if there is part that she doesn't like the look of she can still take the bread or parts she likes.

[Miraclelim]

Hi thank you for your support. I have to admitted I am abit slow in letting her eat on her own. You see I am guilty of being a bit obsessive with cleanliness n can't stand the messiness. But she usually eat her fruits n breakie by herself I will give her piece by piece and she will pick it up and eat. If I put more than one on her tray she will spit out what is in her mouth n put the new food in her mouth without swallowing first. She is greedy she sees another piece she will want it before she finishes n spits the one in her mouth out.
For some reasons, (help me with this) she doesn't mind eating pouch or puree food for dinner and hates textured food for dinner. I am just slowing encouraging her to eat more dinner so I can wean off her BT bottle. I am thinking maybe she is not hungry enough for dinner that is y she is so fussy at dinner. For example today
Wu milk at 0645 170ml she is very hungry
Breakie 0815 3/4 toast with avocado and 1/4 banana
Lunch offered at 1100 refused I think she is too tired to eat so had milk 130ml instead
Lunch offered again at 1430 after nap had fried thin noodles with salmon and veg about 75g and 70g of leftover pouch food from yesterday
Dinner 1645 110g of pouch food, 1/4 banana and 8 blueberries, a few tspspoons of leftover lunch.
BT 1830 milk 180ml

So I am happy she ate quite a lot but dinner is a struggle. We r out the whole afternoon too. She loves her fruits but main meals itself is stressful.
She doesn't like steam veg maybe I might try roast veg tomorrow. Everyday planning meals for her, I don't mind as long as she eats what is frustrating is she sometimes won't even try or have a mouthful and spit out n wont have the rest.
Thank you so much for all your advices n help really appreciate it. I really want her to get on three solids meal before I go on holiday. Otherwise she will have to eat egg and avocado and banana everyday. Those are her favourite.
How many eggs can a baby have a day?

[weaver]

she doesn't mind eating pouch or puree food for dinner and hates textured food for dinner.

I don't know if it's the same thing but my LO2 loved (still loves) the smooth purées, hated the textured purées, but really loved eating real food.  So she just eats real food.

As for the mess, you need to let her make a mess, I'm afraid.  You can time it, if you like, make yourself not clean up for 20 minutes while she eats (and indeed while you are eating). But, please please don't pick up every time she drops something, neither of you will enjoy your meal.  I know it can be hard but it is a learning phase.  She is not learning to be messy, she is learning all about food textures and so on.  It is important. 

[Miraclelim]

Thank you so much. I know I will try that from now on, so hard lol I normally let her have less messy finger food. So I can clean up easily. Sometimes she holds it in her hand n smash it with all her fingers. What should I do? Let her do it?... She also starts to wipe her food on her high chair tray n not eat it. What should I do if she keeps doing it n not eating it?

[weaver]

A certain amount of feeling, squishing, poking and so on is normal.  If she's actually wiping her chair with it, I would see that as her being bored with that food, and I would take it from her and say 'you've had enough of this'.  It all depends where you want to draw the line.  It's up to you, but I would avoid saying things like 'you don't like that one' or whatever.

The strange thing is sometimes what you think are going to be the messiest foods end up being the neatest!  My LO loves baked beans, something that could easily be a total disaster mess-wise, but she loves picking them up very carefully and eating them one at a time.  Equally, scrambled egg sounds like it would just all go on the floor, but it is her preferred texture of egg and she gobbles it up when it is cooked a little firmer than usual for others.

It is hard, it's a different mind-set really, but you'll get used to it