Terrible eater help!!!'

[Miraclelim]

I am so stressed out by my 12 mth of daughter. She used to be a great eater up to 8 mth. Went thru a period of two mth that she wouldn't let me spoon feed her so I BLW then back to spoon feed n she is okie. Now the problem is she wouldn't eat unless I let her watch her favourite songs played on YouTube!!!! I have created a monster eater. Help help how do I stop this habit?
We can eat breakfast together so it is the easiest meal. Lunch is hit n miss. Dinner is the worse. She is down to one nap now do dinner is usually very early at 1630/1645.
Her routine is
Wu 0600
0650 milk 6 oz
0830 breskie
1100 lunch
1345/1499 milk 100ml as snack n fruit if needed
1630/1645 dinner
1815 milk 6 0z

Help me pls to break this habit. I don't know where n how to start. I worried she won't eat n will lose wt so I always give in.

[Shiv52]

I'd just stop with the you tube videos. At this age she'll have moved on and forgotten in a week. 

As for the eating I really wouldn't worry too much. Some days mine live on fresh air and they've never lost weight. The best thing at this age is to start healthy eating habits and continue as you mean to go on. So provide meals, healthy and balanced with a variety of foods then it's upto her if she eats. I wouldn't cajole or really mention it at all. Just chat about normal things and let her get on with it. Help only if she needs help.

It is so stressful I know but honestly I just trust mine will eat what they need and I know I can't force them so so long as I'm providing good food and not bribing or offering a million alternatives then I feel I'm doing as much as I can.

[Miraclelim]

Thank you shiv52
What do I do with milk? Do I give more milk if she doesn't eat? Or reduce it so she will eat more. She is also getting more n more fussy with drinking milk....

[weaver]

I wouldn't try to manipulate milk intake in response to what she 's eating, or not. Just stick with what she would normally have.  I know it is super stressful and frustrating for you but all you can do is offer good food,and drink, you can't make her eat or drink. She absolutely will not starve herself, she will take what she needs, even if that looks like almost nothing to you. Hugs!

[Skadiver13]

I just wanted to pop on and say my ds eats like a bird. When an infant he ate far less than the recommended oz's of formula but still gained weight. He eats next to nothing now. Will occasionally have days where he eats very well but most days it's little.  For example this morning he had a 1/4 cup cheerios in coconut milk (he's mspi) and a 4oz yogurt that was it. He had 6oz of milk as a snack but did not want his lunch. Had two bites of a small bagel and that was it. Offered fruit/veggies which he loves didn't want. For dinner he'll have some pasta and carrots but probably will eat maybe 1/4-1/2 cup pasta and 1/4 cup carrots and thats it and then his BT bottle. It's not a lot but I offer food all the time especially if he's skipped lunch. He's just too busy to eat always has been. Wants to do a million other things and will only eat when he's truly very very hungry, otherwise he couldn't be bothered. Someone once said to me you can't make a child sleep you can only offer them the opportunity. I say the same thing about food. You can only offer it you can't make them eat it.

[Shiv52]

I agree with pp. I'd just leave milk
intake as it is.

Any sign of 1yo molars?

[Miraclelim]

Hi shiv52, no signs of molars yet but I know one of her lateral incisors is coming out soon just waiting for it to cut through. Yesterday milk intake dropped in the morning
Wu 160ml milk
Lunch 1130 one Chinese bowl of chicken veg congee
1345 snack milk 100ml, some yoghurt 1.5 tablespoon, blueberries(10), tiny bit of banana
1645 tuna sandwich (refused- first time she has it), mouthful of PB bread, 40g of pouch food, 1.5 inch of banana, blueberries (10)
1800 milk 140ml

Is this enough food/milk for a 12 mth old???

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I find it helps to remember that their stomach (at rest) is roughly the size of their fist...so not very big at all! If you offered plenty of opportunities to eat and that is what she took, then it was enough on that particular day. I would not start offering milk if she skips a meal or eats very little, just carry on as you would have otherwise.

[Miraclelim]

Today she woke up very hungry and had 170ml of milk
0815 breakie 3/4 slice of toast with avocado, 1/4 banana
1100 lunch refused so I offer milk 130ml as snack before nap.
Hoping to offer her lunch again at 1400.
I think she is too tired to eat lunch that is y she refused I don't know, she is so hard to read now. Sometimes I offer her her favourite she still refused.
At least an improvement is she hasn't watched iPad for meals for 2 days. Yeah!!!

[Shiv52]

That's huge progress with the iPad! Well done!!!

Tiredness could definately be a factor. If she has a decent breakfast it may well be better just doing a snack and drink before nap and then doing the bigger meal after nap. Or else another snack then a dinner type meal.  Honestly so long as she eating one decent meal I wouldn't worry very much. 10 blueberries and a third of a banana is pretty good going. 

Is she self feeding all the time now?

[creations]

Hi just stopping by with some support really.  Great to hear you've stopped the screen time during meals.
PP has already mentioned that their tummies are so small.  it is amazing just how small a portion is for a young toddler for instance a 'portion' of fruit is quarter of a fresh fruit (or the child's size fist full of blueberries) and as guidance they need 2 portions of fruit per day. So really 10 blueberries is probably 2 portions if you consider the size of her hand.  A portion of vegetables is only 1 tablespoon so consider how many tablespoons of food were in that chinese bowl of food you mentioned or the 40g pouch of food - perhaps more than you thought?
You may feel better about her diet if you offered a steamed or baked vegetable in place of some of the fruit servings.  When they eat so little it is much easier to give them some of your own family food but if you just need something handy then a can of sweetcorn, kidney beans or chickpeas (in water no salt no sugar) can just be opened, drained and rinsed before serving. They will also keep a couple of days in the fridge or the rest can be thrown into adult stews, soups or curries etc.  I experimented with various beans as my LO wasn't a good protein eater, he didn't like kidney beans for a long time but would happily eat haricot or flageolet beans (and they are fun to chase around and pick up just like a blueberry), and I made little bean burgers with the rest of the can, cooked, cooled then froze them to use another day.
LOs need more grains servings than I had imagined so don't worry if she just wants a half slice of bread/toast, a few crackers or a quarter cup of pasta with just butter on, it is actually fine for a small toddler.  She may like a 'deconstructed sandwich' so she can see all the parts of it on her plate rather than have the whole thing put together then if there is part that she doesn't like the look of she can still take the bread or parts she likes.

[Miraclelim]

Hi thank you for your support. I have to admitted I am abit slow in letting her eat on her own. You see I am guilty of being a bit obsessive with cleanliness n can't stand the messiness. But she usually eat her fruits n breakie by herself I will give her piece by piece and she will pick it up and eat. If I put more than one on her tray she will spit out what is in her mouth n put the new food in her mouth without swallowing first. She is greedy she sees another piece she will want it before she finishes n spits the one in her mouth out.
For some reasons, (help me with this) she doesn't mind eating pouch or puree food for dinner and hates textured food for dinner. I am just slowing encouraging her to eat more dinner so I can wean off her BT bottle. I am thinking maybe she is not hungry enough for dinner that is y she is so fussy at dinner. For example today
Wu milk at 0645 170ml she is very hungry
Breakie 0815 3/4 toast with avocado and 1/4 banana
Lunch offered at 1100 refused I think she is too tired to eat so had milk 130ml instead
Lunch offered again at 1430 after nap had fried thin noodles with salmon and veg about 75g and 70g of leftover pouch food from yesterday
Dinner 1645 110g of pouch food, 1/4 banana and 8 blueberries, a few tspspoons of leftover lunch.
BT 1830 milk 180ml

So I am happy she ate quite a lot but dinner is a struggle. We r out the whole afternoon too. She loves her fruits but main meals itself is stressful.
She doesn't like steam veg maybe I might try roast veg tomorrow. Everyday planning meals for her, I don't mind as long as she eats what is frustrating is she sometimes won't even try or have a mouthful and spit out n wont have the rest.
Thank you so much for all your advices n help really appreciate it. I really want her to get on three solids meal before I go on holiday. Otherwise she will have to eat egg and avocado and banana everyday. Those are her favourite.
How many eggs can a baby have a day?

[weaver]

she doesn't mind eating pouch or puree food for dinner and hates textured food for dinner.

I don't know if it's the same thing but my LO2 loved (still loves) the smooth purées, hated the textured purées, but really loved eating real food.  So she just eats real food.

As for the mess, you need to let her make a mess, I'm afraid.  You can time it, if you like, make yourself not clean up for 20 minutes while she eats (and indeed while you are eating). But, please please don't pick up every time she drops something, neither of you will enjoy your meal.  I know it can be hard but it is a learning phase.  She is not learning to be messy, she is learning all about food textures and so on.  It is important. 

[Miraclelim]

Thank you so much. I know I will try that from now on, so hard lol I normally let her have less messy finger food. So I can clean up easily. Sometimes she holds it in her hand n smash it with all her fingers. What should I do? Let her do it?... She also starts to wipe her food on her high chair tray n not eat it. What should I do if she keeps doing it n not eating it?

[weaver]

A certain amount of feeling, squishing, poking and so on is normal.  If she's actually wiping her chair with it, I would see that as her being bored with that food, and I would take it from her and say 'you've had enough of this'.  It all depends where you want to draw the line.  It's up to you, but I would avoid saying things like 'you don't like that one' or whatever.

The strange thing is sometimes what you think are going to be the messiest foods end up being the neatest!  My LO loves baked beans, something that could easily be a total disaster mess-wise, but she loves picking them up very carefully and eating them one at a time.  Equally, scrambled egg sounds like it would just all go on the floor, but it is her preferred texture of egg and she gobbles it up when it is cooked a little firmer than usual for others.

It is hard, it's a different mind-set really, but you'll get used to it

[creations]

Sometimes she holds it in her hand n smash it with all her fingers. What should I do? Let her do it?... She also starts to wipe her food on her high chair tray n not eat it.

I would let her do all this. There is so so much to learn about food and only a fraction of that happens once it is put in the mouth. yes I understand that a line needs to be drawn somewhere and I think the time limit is a great idea.  Some of my DS's messiest foods are his favourite, you wouldn't think so sometimes watching him, he's great with a fork and spoon but he'll choose to mess his hands up (and he doesn't even like messy hands!) and 'paint' the food all over the table top. When I say "are you full?" he quickly says no and starts eating it, loving it!  But he likes to explore for a limited time and to just feel the temperature, texture, how hard or soft, rough, crunchy, breakable, squidgable - also testing out his own strength to see if he can mush mash and squish it's all important learning and great fine motor development.  I wouldn't allow lots of dropping over the side of the high chair (but would offer fill and dump games during A time instead) but anything on the tray/plate/table top I allow. Your little one is making her first marks, mark making leads to writing later on so every single mark and movement she makes with her sauces and food now helps her towards the more grown up skills she will learn later on. It's all for a very good reason.

I think one of the most frustrating aspects is cooking so much food for it not to be eaten. That's one good reason to give her what you are having yourself so it isn't wasted.  There are also lots of things that can be frozen if you find she likes them and you only need lift them out a few hours before they are needed.

FWIW it is really common for LOs to eat a great portion of their daily calories in the morning hours so breakfast and lunch can be the biggest meals. Dinner is very often smaller and it really shouldn't have an impact on night waking from hunger.  LOs are not like adults who eat three relatively equal portioned meals (or even a small breakfast or lunch and large evening meal) so don't expect that sort of balance yet.

[anna*]

Agree with pps. Poking, squishing, smushing, splatting food is all part of exploring it. I know the mess is a pain but you really do have to let go a bit. I know a little b oy who is nearly three. His mummy is always RIGHT THERE with a wipe and cleans up the smallest mess, every time, and now he won't eat any foods that are even the least bit messy. Even an apple slice, if the juice gets on his fingers he is done with it. He is so so so limited in his diet - of course that may not be entirely due to never being allowed to make a mess,but I can't help feeling like it plays a part. He won't go in the sand at the park, won't do fingerprinting, nothing like that - he just can't handle anything even the least bit messy.

[Miraclelim]

Thank you guys for ur advice. I will try tomorrow maybe I will start with roast veg hopefully she will love it. Thanks again. Will let it go n let her experiment with it😄

[Miraclelim]

Hi I got a new problem she used to eat textured food. Now I offer her cheesy brocolli pasta. I put in on her tray so she will pick it up n bite n chew it n spit it all out? I want to stop giving her puréed food. She loves her puréed food too much. But she will eat bread avocado n banana or pancake or biscuit. But she will chew on her veg n pasta n spit out instead of swallowing. What should I do? Keep giving it but she didnt eat anything shall I puréed it? Help n advised pls. How long should I persist?? tIA
She will eat chicken nuggets or fish finger or egg but y not her vegs. The only way to give her veg is puréed,?? I want to stop it. I gave her broccoli In chunks in cheesy sauce , she puts inherent mouthn chews it then spit it out instead of swallowing?. I don't understand.

[creations]

What other vegetables have your tried? And in what form/shape?

It could be that she just doesn't like the texture of broccoli and after chewing it and getting the cheese sauce off she doesn't feel she can swallow it, maybe it's a bit woody for her?
Have you been able to try some oven baked wedges? potato, sweet potato, turnips, parsnip - these sorts of foods can be dry baked (or toss them in a bit of oil and roast) which makes the outside quite dry and easy to pick up whilst the inside goes very soft, not a puree but really mash like.

I would just keep offering rather than puree veg.

[Miraclelim]

So this evening I thought we will have a family meal together. I cooked chicken casserole with carrot n courgette. Well that didn't go down well either. Hardly ate much all end up on the floor, or she will chew the food or suck it then spit it out. This is strange she does the same for chicken too. She should be hungry. Hardly eat anything for lunch at 1415 then when we r out eat chips at 4pm she is trying to take my chip so I only offer one. Then dinner at 1730 only ate a piece of tiny carrot n one piece courgette few tsp of rice then the rest is on the floor. I gave her 20 min before I took her off her highchair then give her a bath.
I spent whole day cooking n she hardly ate anything. So sad so frustrated n so defeated. What should I her tomorrow.
I have tried roast sweet potatoes n pumpkin. She ate 2 sticks of each that is all. 
How long should I persist? Don't know what to cook for lunch for her tomorrow. Any ideas?
Just a few days ago she was eating fried rice, omelette  or fried noodles. What is wrong with my girl? It's so depressing when u go to a party n you see ur friend's son munching floret of broccoli or anything put in his mouth n ur dd just keeps her mouth shut.

[creations]

I have tried roast sweet potatoes n pumpkin. She ate 2 sticks of each that is all.

I don't know how big the sticks were, I am imagining 'chip' size (hmm, where are you, by chip I mean fries not potato chips/crisps), in which case that is really good!  A toddler size portion of chips is 4 chips - exactly what she ate.

I would continue to offer some pieces from her dinner and even make a little extra to offer at one meal the next day to reduce the amount of cooking you have to do. Otherwise offer lunches and snacks that are relatively easy to put together, cracker, toast, bread and butter, cheese, canned beans/sweetcorn/chickpeas, any left over steamed/roast veggies from the day before, eggy bread is quite simple to make, as are pancakes, veg/bean burgers and savoury muffins which freeze really well so it's one cook off then just lift one out each day to defrost.

Really, you mustn't compare to other kids. You don't know what that child will be like at 16 or 30...and might not want your child to be like them at all. Yeah I know it is easier said than done, we are all guilty of comparisons at some point.

[Miraclelim]

Hi creations thank you for your quick respond. Yes sticks are chips. I am in Australia. :-) I know if I give eggy bread or avocado no prob. Those are her favourite. She always have pancakes or muffins, avocado bread or grill cheese on toast for breakie. It's just the veg I am struggling. How to get her to eat her greens, I am thinking of making veggie buggers hoping that is a way to give her veg. Any recipe?
I offered her butter beans those in a can bb put it was quite salty I find it. But she ate about 4 of those beans.
I might try steam beans and roast veg again tomorrow. I know I shouldn't compare but it's so hard. 
Okie I will just ride off today. Maybe is a bad day today so she doesn't feel like eating. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. Thank you creations for your advise. I am going to find a veggie burger recipe.

[Shiv52]

Hugs xx

Honestly just keep doing what you are doing and try your best not to take it personally it she doesn't eat. At that age I used to say I'd be quicker just chucking my DDs dinner on the floor as that's where it ended up anyways. And just the other night I made a lovely dinner and both girls took about a spoonful and declared they were full and that was that.

I also found at that age only putting 1-2 things on her tray helped otherwise she chucked everything else off while she was chewing something. And she ate more when she didn't have the opportunity to do that.

What about offering her a dip for her veggies?  Even your purée?

[Skadiver13]

Alos have you treid pasta with out anything on it? my DS HATES sauces of any kind and textures bother him quite a bit but he'll happily eat plane pasta with nothing on it. I get the tri-color pasta that is part veggie too so he gets a serving of vegetable sthat way as well as veggies on the side like cooked carrot slices. It may be that textures just bother her. My lo doesn't liek to chew a lot so I do cheesy scrambled eggs, avocado, pasta, bread (not toasted) but with butter, he likes thing he can pick up himself so he gets carrots and peas. He likes muffins so he gets 1/2 a homemade muffin and yogurt. All easy things to go down. I have to remove the puree puches myself. I know he'll eat them so I've kept them as a crutch because he's so little and it's a failsafe if he doesn't eat his meal he gets a pouch but now he's too smart and he holds out for them so I've lieterally in the past few days just took them away all together and it has made a difference in his eating.

[Miraclelim]

Hi siobhan what happens if u take away if all the purée food n he doesn't eat? Does he eat when u taje away all the pureed food??
The problem is the main meal. If I just give bread avocado or egg all day she will eat it. Happy to eat banana too. So how long does it take for her to get used to the texture???
She is not very keen in pasta. Sometimes depending on her mood.

[Skadiver13]

honestly we just started so it's been a bit of a battle. He didn't eat much the first few days but I offered all the food I know he likes he's just kicked up a fuss. If she's hungry she'll eat.  Liam will drag me into the pantry where we kept his puree and point to where it used to be and get mad when I say no but then he'll eat something else. Here is what helped me when my lo was your age as I freaked out (and still do sometimes about how little he eats). For a week I kept a log of every bite of food he took. It was annoying but if he took  bite of my sandwich I wrote it down, if he drank some of my juice I wrote it down. Over the week I noticed how much he really did eat. Most days he eats like a bird he just does and there is nothing to be done about it. He has crazy energy and if he wan't eating enough one would think he'd be lethargic. Some kids just don't need a lot to get by. He's followed his normal curve of growth. 

For texture my lo is 19m and for the first time the other day he ate a pretzel. He hated anything that crunched and would immedietely spit it out. Now he used to love raspeberries and blueberries but now doesnt' like them.  It's just a phase and she will grow out of it. Just offer things you know she'll eat and maybe one thing you want her to try. If she chews it and spits it out that's ok. It is said that it can take lo's up to 15 times of trying something before they'll eat it. 

so Breakfast could be
scrambled egg with cheese and 1/2 banana
Snack cup of milk and cheerios
Lunch: Does she like deli meat? My lo doesn't like cooked chicken breast but he'll eat deli meat slices becuase they are a different type of texture. More slimy I guess? with some avocado pieces (my lo loves avocado) and bread with butter
snack: fruit and crackers?
Dinner: whatever else you know she'll eat.

I've heard if you try new things when they are happy and awak and not tired like breakfast is better than dinner.  So I try the new things at breakfast and lunch (after his nap) but not at dinner when he's tired as that's his worst meal to eat anyway.  Some other things to try are frenchtoast sticks she can dunk in syrup, yogurt, applesauce. my lo loves sweet potato fries that I make. Potato pancakes? It has helped me to keep a list of foods I know he'll eat on the fridge so I can pick from them and not have to think about it.

He still to this day sdoesn't like mixed foods and will not eat "what we eat". He doesn't like the textures of cream sauces or meats and he doesn't like his food mixed together. So I do make him different meals then we eat although he'll occasionaly pick off our plate which is ok for now.  Some people will say just feed her what you eat but that doesn't always work for everyone. It's up to you to decide what works best for your lo. I will say I do keep the puree packs hidden away for a snack. I have used them a few times if we are traveling on the road and he is hungry or if he's teethign or sick and just doesn't want to eat it is a way to get him  to eat something with calories. I focus on the ones that have protein, less sugar, and usually ahve oats. They are usually veggie ones not fruit. Some will say no but I think once in a great while as a quick snack in an emergency they are ok. But for everyday they should go.

HTH

[Miraclelim]

Thank you so much for ur quick reply
Dinner is normal her smallest n worse meal. Starting this evening we are eating together as a family n she eating what we eat. Disaster hardly eaten anything. All on the food and only a few bites.

I am thinking
0645 milk ( normally 160ml)
0815Breakfast  bread with avocado ( she loves avocado so she has this 5/7 breakfast) or I make banana pancakes
1100 mill 120ml as snacks or yoghurt ( tried offering lunch but too tired to eat) or fruits
1400 after nap Lunch I am thinking of making veggie burger or veggie omelette ( she loves anything with egg)
1730 Dinner trail of family meal again. ( if she refuses shall I offer something else?) the thing I am worried is if she keeps refusing food and I keep giving something she likes she might learn that eventually mummy will give in n give me something I like)...........
1830 milk

What do u think?

[Skadiver13]

Hi hun, I still think you should keep a log for a week it might ease your mind. Also keep a list of foods on the fridge you know she'll eat and pick from them to change up the menu and not feed her the same thing. Alos, she's only 12M she's just getting the hang of this. Take a deep breath. She's only now discovering tastes, textures and things other than milk. It will take time it's not going to happen over night.

Another thing you can try is do dinner for breakfast, lunch for dinner, breakfast for dinner. You don't need to stick with a traditional "menu".. Like I said before my lo will not eat what we eat we offer a little of what we are eating on his plate with his food and if he tries it great, we try and get him to try it but if he doesn't eat it that's ok. We don't push. Mealtime should be fun. 

One thing I noticed at this age is I would swap your meals. There is no need at this age to give milk first. My LO will not eat breakfast till he's been up for 30-45m so we get him up play in his room, get dressed, brush teeth etc. Then we go downstairs and he helps me make breakfast. He sees what i'm making. What time does she wake in the morning? If it's like 6:30 you could do
 
W: 6:30
E: 7 Breakfast with a cup of milk. If she only wants bottle (I saw another post of yours) you could offer at say 8/8:30 Remember her oz's of milk are really reduced at this age. I think at 12M The recommendation at 1 year is no less than 12 ozs and no more than 20ozs per day - inclusive of milk used in food, yogurt, cheese etc.
E: 8:30 bottle .

Make sure your meals are spaced at least 2-3hrs apart. Mine are more like 3-4hrs as my lo wont eat unless he's really hungry. So for him he doesnt' get a snack between lunch and dinner as it's only 4hrs apart. He does get some milk to drink between the two but only 4oz.

I differ from most moms here in the fact that if she refuses something not to give her something else I don't necessarily agree with that. I think at 12M her tastes are changing so often that I personally would offer her a second choice because one day she may like something the next she doesn't and she can't verbalize that.  So if you offer her something you know she likes and something she may not like and she refuses both I would offer one more choice (healthy though) and if she refuses that then that's it. I don't keep offering until she eats. At 19M though I don't do that anymore. He gets what he gets and that's it. However, I do take into consideration if he's teething, doesn't feel well, didn't sleep well etc. adn I give a little leeway there.

[anna*]

Honestly, I think one decent meal per day is fine. If she eats well at lunch or breakfast I wouldn't worry about dinner at all. She can eat or not eat, it really doesn't matter. More important to get into the rhythm of meal times, and sitting at the table, 'chatting' with mummy and daddy etc. Honestly if you get into a power struggle over eating, she will win every time.

[creations]

For beans, I am able to buy various types in cans which are in only water, no salt or sugar added at all. I am too lazy for soaking dried beans tbh, and beans are a 'fast food' for us when for some reason we get in too late or whatever and I have to throw something on the table in moments.  Check in your shops for beans/chickpeas etc in water only. I do same for sweetcorn (we also have frozen corn and fresh corn but the canned is again our 'fast food' when needed)

for bean or veggie burgers, I just experimented like a sort of pancake mix.  Either add mashed beans to the mix or reduce milk/water and whizz the beans which makes them quite liquid.  A small amount of flour and an egg with bind almost anything together, left over veg, beans etc to fry as fritters, once they are all fried, cool then freeze.  Or if you have a mini muffin tray you can bake the mixture in there making nice individual portions.  Even with beans you might find you need to try out different ones, mine wouldn't eat kidney beans for ages and ages, they are the cheapest bean here so i was quite keen to include them at one third the price of other beans.  Mine liked a bit of herbs, spices or tom puree in his burger mix.  You can't really go wrong if the mix is very loose spoon it like pancakes, if it is thick roll into patties, or use the muffin tray.

[Miraclelim]

This morning she woke up early hungry. So I thought great I bring her downstairs make milk n put in her straw cup thinking she will drink bcos she is hungry while I reheat last night dinner for her. Guess what she took a sip n realised its not water so she refuses to drink. So I gave her dinner had z spoonful then same as last night chew then spits out everything. Arghhhhhhhh!!!! So have to give in n give milk in a bottle in the end but only had 120ml arghhhhhh!!! I m so angry so angry n frustrated!!!!!

[creations]

If she refused the straw I would have just given her the bottle straight off, maybe because I needed my DS to have that morning milk so I kept trying the switch but didn't fully go for it until he agreed.

Is there any teething?

[Miraclelim]

One of her lateral incisor just slowly cutting through. I can see the tip of it. Thank you so much everyone for ur advises n encouragement I really appreciate n needed it. :-)
I have decided the menu for today
Breakie later will be bread with avocado
Before nap milk n fruit
Lunch veggie omelette she loves egg so hopefully she will eat it all
Dinner fried rice.
I think I will just give milk from the bottle for now n try again later in a few weeks time bcos she is not eating well at the moment really want to get nutrients in her now.

[Skadiver13]

So have to give in n give milk in a bottle in the end but only had 120ml arghhhhhh!!! I m so angry so angry n frustrated!!!!!

Hun take a deep breath.. I know you are frustrated but it's turned into a power struggle and she's going to pick up on that and just dig her heals in more.  Focus more on giving her two things she will eat and one thing new for one meal. She only needs to have one good meal a day and the rest will come as she gets the hang of solids. Again she is still young and figuring out what she likes and doesn't liek. It will take her multiple times of eating something. Try sticking with just finger foods no mixes. So avocado pieces, pasta pieces, bread and butter cut up into pieces, carrot slices (bite size), peas, corn, beans, all things seh can pick up with her fingers.  Offer the milk in a bottle an hour or so after breakfast regardless of how much she eats. If she eats 2 bites that's fine. Breakfast is over and offer the bottle later like 1-2hrs later and use that as your snack.  If she knows she's going to get it as an alternative she'll continue to refuse to eat. 

I think sticking with the bottle is a good idea. Work on one thing at a time for your own sanity. At 19M my lo due to MSPI still gets a morning bottle as a snack to get the calcium he needs.  He'll drink from a sippy cut just in the past month.

[creations]

If she is teething there is every chance of going off food for a while, so keep that in mind too.
For what it's worth my 'difficulties' with DS were totally different, he wouldn't eat protein (hence my discovery of the bean burger!), he had tucked into egg from about 6 months but only when it was a very new food, once he discovered other food he wouldn't touch egg and I worried about his protein intake (he will now eat egg only for breakfast no other time!), he only ever took half the guidance amount of milk needed so I stressed over that. And he has never eaten rice, ever, I think he might have tried one mouthful once and never again, he doesn't like the texture so won't have rice, cous cous, quinoa, or anything else 'bitty'.  Despite all that he has developed a wide range of tastes and a healthy balance of foods, and consistently grew maintaining his weight gain throughout.

Really try not to be frustrated about it.  So many children eat a small variety of foods.

[Miraclelim]

Thank you thank you. Today is not a bad day in general apart from the morning
 Morning milk 120ml
Avocado sandwich half a slice n a tiny plum
 Then we r out shopping she is looking eagerly at the yoghurt pouch trying to suck it so I opened it and omg she sucked the whole pouch 100g in mins. Wow never happened before
Then 1030 I gave her 120 ml of milk before nap.
Woke up at 1345 we went out for lunch with my sister
So at 1410 I made veggie omelette and she ate half so what is offered so 1/4 of the omelette (size of the fry pan 1/4 of that size)
At 1730 dinner with family, offered fried rice had a few spoon then spit it all out have abt 5 peas n a few corn and a mouthful of leftover lunch. And the rest is on the floor. So I then offer banana and avocado had abt a tablespoon of each.
Then bedtime milk 200ml

So it's good. I am going to attempt broccoli cheddar nuggets tomorrow.
Thank you guys I am been reading on all the post and people keep saying is developmental n a phase. I am keeping my fingers crossed. Thank you much for your advice n help. You guys are amazing.

[creations]

Wow it sounds like she at a LOT today.
Just a reminder some days they will eat tons the next day almost nothing so try not to expect a repeat every day or you may find yourself worried and frustrated again xx

[Miraclelim]

I used to cook Chinese congee ( with rice meat n veg) then put in a pouch and she will suck it all up for dinner. I also think by the time we have dinner she is tired n ready for bed so not keen to eat plus always have lunch at 2ish.
Can I give her finger food or normal food for lunch then do congee ( which is puréed but a bit of textured) and put in a pouch for dinner?

Because she is always having bread or muffins or pancakes or French toast for breakfast so I m thinking is puréed food in a pouch okie for dinner?

[creations]

I think so long as she is eating some finger foods it's fine to vary the textures of her foods. Puree after all is not much different to dip and adults eat that.  I just wouldn't give puree as back up to a regular meal or in place of finger foods that's all.

[Miraclelim]

Hi guys just a quick update of how things are. Things have really gotten better. She stops eating cereal at 8.5mth when she refused to let me spoon feed her. Well I tried on sun she finished the whole bowl of cereal without fuss until she saw my breakie (well we r out having breakie) but ti hasn't happened for a long time so more varieties for breakfast. No iPad for hmmm a week now I think. She hasn't missed it. Yah!!! Dinner she still fusses n only will eat her favourite food like avocado, bread banana or egg n cheese, and puréed food). Our menu of the day looks like this

0645Milk 150ml
0820Breakfast 1-11/2 pancakes, or 3/4 slice of bread with avocado follow by 1 serve of fruits or muffin
1030Snacks yoghurt n fruit n 1 small crackers or milk 120ml if refuse yoghurt
Nap
1400 lunch 180ml-200ml of lumpy food cheesy veg n meat or veggie pattie or lumpy congee of meat n veg
1730 dinner whatever she wants fussy will a.ways only eat avocado or egg or banana
1820 milk 180ml

So that is generally her menu for the last two days. I find that she eats very well when we r out for lunch with very minimal or no fuss. She was very hungry today that she scoff down her cheesy veg n meat for lunch .

I am still struggling slightly with getting her to eat more texture veg n meat. Just so random a week ago she eats noodles fried rice, fish fingers, chicken nuggets. no problem but this week totally refused it. She wants pureed food or softer texture like pancakes, frittata or soft veg  pattie. She  eats crackers fine there r quite hard. Not sure why she won't eat her veg n meat.

I took her for her 1yr immunisation yesterday so I wt her she is now 10.3kg at the 85th percentile. I am so happy!!!

Just want to say thank you so much for all your advises and help. Any idea how to reintroduce more textured veg n meat to her. Felt like I am stepping backwards or is it developmental n next week she might want her fried rice again???

[weaver]

Re: texture: maybe her mouth is a little sore with teething?  But honestly, they go through all sorts of crazy phases and it's just a case of waiting it out.  As you say, it's perfectly possible that next week, or the week after, she will want fried rice, and everything else!

The fact that she eats so well when you're out sounds to me like she's really interested in lots of different foods, and different presentations so I would feel free to offer her whatever you're having. Let her try things, the worst that'll happen is she won't eat it, today, but she may well in the future.

[creations]

Sounds like great progress. I wouldn't worry too much and just keep offering things she likes and new things, and keep trying every now and then with the things she used to eat and then refused.
Don't know if I mentioned this before on this thread but mine wouldn't eat meat, just wouldn't, one day ate almost an entire lamb shank!!!  Seriously, the adults had one each as a serving (large serving) and there was one remaining so I gave a little to DS as per usual thinking he wouldn’t touch it. Ate it asked for more, then more then more...he left about two bites    needless to say I didn't worry about protein for a couple of weeks after that!  He still doesn't like meat as such (but happily eats sausages now) but we keep going with it and he makes progress here and there.
So I would just keep going 

[Skadiver13]

ne day ate almost an entire lamb shank!!! 

HAHAHA this made me laugh. That's like my DS. He still doesn't like meat but one day he took a bite of my hamburger and then wanted more and more. Now he wont eat it again. They are weird.

[creations]

Yeah and all the adults around the table were glaring at one anther with 'the look', winking and so on, everyone trying desperately trying to keep a straight face and not openly comment on his eating meat or the quantity but we could barely hold ourselves together, it was an astounding sight!  At the end of the meal I said "oh looks like you enjoyed that" understatement of the year!

[Miraclelim]

Hi I have found out that because she naps between 1130-1400 she always have lunch at 2ish n snack before. I tried offering lunch before nap but she is fussy to eat. I think too tired. She would then have a huge lunch normally we r out shopping for lunch or eating with me. She will eat half her lunch then as soon as she saw my food arrived she will want what's on my plate. Like we when n had fish n chip yesterday. She had half a bowl of her own fried rice n saw my food n refused to eat hers. Do I removed the batter of the fish n gave her some n some cucumber to chew on which she spits out ( she doesn't like crunchy veg) n 2 chips. I think she ate 1/5 of my fish. So that was at 1430. By the time dinner comes at 1745 I made done steamed veg n she only had 4 chips size sweet potato n pumpkin In total. The rest she spits out, on the floor n all over daddy. She loves to chew her food then spits out n give it to us!!!!  How to stop that.
So My question is she always have a huge lunch then refuses dinner. How to I get her to have lunch before nap? She will only eat before nap if it is puréed food.i know she doesn't like hummus n crunchy food I will keep offering n hope that one day she will eat it.
Sorry it's so long. Thank you. I m going on holiday in 2 weeks time not sure what to do? Don't want her to eat outside food because its salty. Any advise?

[creations]

If she is eating well at any time of the day that's fine. Toddlers often don't eat equal sized meals the way adults do so if she has a huge lunch and a small dinner that's ok, normal.  I would personally continue with lunch at 2pm if this is when she eats well.

The spitting out, I haven't had experience of that but I'd prob just stop offering any more food after the first spit. I'd say "Oh, looks like you're full, ok lets get you cleaned up" and end the meal.

It's no surprise to me she is more interested in your food than her own. How about serving all her food onto your plate, you eat a little then serve her some from your plate?  But I would also really try to eat exactly the same even if you can only give her a tiny portion of something you are having, I'd try to order food that is OK for her to share.

My little boy always wanted exactly what I ate too, I think it makes logical sense that they know it is 'safe' food and good food if Mummy chooses it

[Miraclelim]

Okie thanks creations. I will do that keep the lunch at 2 pm. she eats so well when we r outside shopping in the pram or lunch with us. She just loves my food during lunch but doesn't do that during dinner at home. Which makes me think that she is not very hungry at dinner after a huge lunch. I only ever given her outside food like fish n chips even with that I removed the batter n make sure no salt on chip.
Thank you so much for ur advice :-)

[creations]

If your able to make some home made 'chips' in the oven from sweet potato, parsnip, turnip, carrots and white potato you can let them cool and carry them with you.  There's a chance she might accept them if you eat one or two too so that she has similar looking food but healthier for her.  I used to take out food for my LO but I tried to make it very similar to what I would behaving so it was a healthy alternative without looking too different.  eg I took steamed veg when I knew I'd be going for a roast dinner as most places would have salt on the veg.