Author Topic: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?  (Read 13504 times)

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Offline BusterB

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #45 on: January 21, 2014, 20:57:55 pm »
I just had a real OT or UT conundrum!

He woke at 45 mins exactly after bedtime and he seemed pretty furious to be in the cot. When I picked him up he stopped crying fairly quickly but really did not like being put down again and seemed pretty awake. It took me 50 mins of PU/PD to get him settled again...

To start with I actually thought he might be hungry, even though he only fed less than an hour before (I am not great at recognisng hunger!) as he was sucking my face and shoulder & he has complained a few times at the breast today, when they seemed empty, so low supply is always in my mind.

I can't believe after only 1hr 45 of naps today he is UT - but that is what it seemed like to me although I really am not good at judging the difference... maybe the 2hr 30 A before bed wasn't enough tonight?
« Last Edit: January 21, 2014, 20:59:26 pm by BusterB »

Offline BusterB

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #46 on: January 22, 2014, 10:19:19 am »
I'm wondering, should I push his A time even more in the morning?

He was asleep at exactly 3hr A this morning, having given sleepy signs since 2hr45m... and (no surprise) was awake at 30 mins.

He was happily playing in his cot when I looked in, I left him for a few mins and then went and got him and you have never seen a more awake, smilier, happy baby! He laughed as soon as he saw me. He is so content right now, playing with his toys  ::)

Everything I read about 30 min naps is OT but behaviour implies UT doesn't it?.... am very confused and would love to hear what others think?

Offline LovelyLilyandJack

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #47 on: January 22, 2014, 11:09:41 am »
You could try another 15 minutes or so and see what happens? If he starts waking up grouchy, wakes more in the night and seems more tired you can go the other way? You won't know unless you try anyway :)



Offline BusterB

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #48 on: January 22, 2014, 13:11:50 pm »
You could try another 15 minutes or so and see what happens? If he starts waking up grouchy, wakes more in the night and seems more tired you can go the other way? You won't know unless you try anyway :)

Thanks Lovely! :) Yes you are right, won't know until I try of course.

I was going to try and extend his A before his nap this afternoon, but he looked soooo ready for bed and fell asleep in less than a minute at exactly 3hrs and if he does 2 hours nap now (he is in carseat) then he'll still have 3.5/4 hours until bed, so will see how he fares with that.

Definitely going to add 15 mins in the morning though & will look out for the signs you list above, thanks again.

Offline BusterB

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #49 on: January 24, 2014, 16:12:59 pm »
me again - sorry!

Am feeling a bit lost again and would just like a nudge to keep things on track....

Naps are still a mess - but I am still working on those for the time being, before coming back for more advice!

However, I would like to be able to stick at an A before bed for at least 3 nights, but an struggling to find the right length...

This week we have had 2 nights at 2hr 30 - one resulted in one of the best nights sleep we've ever had (followed the next day with the worst naps we've had!) and the other in him waking only 45 mins after being put down & taking an hour to resettle and then numerous NWs totalling 2 hours.

I then tried 3hr 30 and I think I tipped him into OT here - his first stretch after BT was 3 hours, but again lots of NWs totalling over 2 hrs, including an hour at 5:15am.

Last night I reined it back to 3hrs and he feel asleep just fine and then woke at 40ms and screamed (angry screaming as opposed to pain) for 1hr 45 mins, until I fed him (although we had ruled out hunger/teething etc, but at this point I was lost for any other way to settle him - he was pretty nuclear & it worked like a charm) However, he then went on to sleep really well, with only 1 waking at 2:15am for feed and then WU at 6:40  :D

So I'm now really lost as to what to try tonight and what to stick to to try and work out his correct A time?

Last night felt like an UT one, but alternatively could all the recent schedule changes and extended A times be pushing him into OT?

Very confused  ??? Can you help me?
« Last Edit: January 24, 2014, 16:33:11 pm by BusterB »

Offline BusterB

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #50 on: January 24, 2014, 16:52:13 pm »
Just realised that to recommend an A for tonight you might need to know what our day looked like;

w/u @ 6:40
A = 3hr 5m
Nap 1 - 9:43 to 10:10 (27m)
A = 3hr 10m
Nap 2 - 13:20 to 15:32 (2hr 12m & I woke him at this point)


Offline LovelyLilyandJack

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #51 on: January 24, 2014, 20:14:55 pm »
Sorry, I've only just seen your messages so will have missed your bedtime.  Hope it went ok.

I don't know what anyone else thinks but the early evening wake ups and short naps out of the car seat sound OT to me. Jack can do awful nights like that after I've reduced his A times but usually only if there's something else going on.  We had a lot the week he started crawling.  Unless there's anything like that going on, I think I'd rule out OT before extending A's further. How have you been getting on with extending that first A? How do you think it's going?  Do you think he's any more or less tired for the rest of the day for pushing him here or no difference?

WRT A time til bed I'd probably keep it fairly short for now.  Generally you only work on extending one A at a time so I'd play about with that first A time and keep the others roughly as they were until you've got that first one sorted.  I don't know,  I was never very good at A time to bed but I'd keep it at something like 2hrs 30 - 2hrs 45 after a good PM nap if you can. Does he seem tired before bed most days or is he ok?

Also, keep meaning to ask - how are you getting on with separating your E's from your S' s?
« Last Edit: January 24, 2014, 21:00:55 pm by LovelyLilyandJack »



Offline BusterB

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #52 on: January 24, 2014, 21:30:03 pm »
Sorry, I've only just seen your messages so will have missed your bedtime.  Hope it went ok.

Evening LovelyLilyandJack  :) thank you so much for coming back to me!

In the end my LO decided his own A time tonight......  which was 4 hours and 4 minutes ::) ...... He was WIDE awake after his last BF (which was at just over 3hr A) which was absolutely unheard of until recently. So we ended up keeping him up a bit longer, which we've never done before and even when I felt he was sleepy, he still cried for 10 mins before finally falling asleep.

He has just woken up at 1hr 40 mins.... but his crying/screeching does sound a bit tired.... so thinking we hit OT maybe tonight? Although I really don't think i could have gotten him to sleep any earlier  :-\ WIll have to see how long it takes to settle him.

I don't know what anyone else thinks but the early evening wake ups and short naps out of the car seat sound OT to me. Jack can do awful nights like that after I've reduced his A times but usually only if there's something else going on.  We had a lot the week he started crawling.  Unless there's anything like that going on, I think I'd rule out OT before extending A's further.

This is where OT/UT confusion gets me, because I thought OT was easier to settle and so last night taking soooo long and him seeming so wide awake, I just thought it had to be UT? Also the fact that he slept so well after the extra time awake suggested the same thing to me - wouldnt OT have caused lots more NWs? Or am I way off?

His morning naps in cot have always been short, so in honesty I don't think these are a good indicator either way as when he was little I used to follow the first tired signs and now I follow the clock, so he must have experienced both UT & OT in the last few months and he's never stretched it - not even once.

How have you been getting on with extending that first A? How do you think it's going?  Do you think he's any more or less tired for the rest of the day for pushing him here or no difference?

He is consistently showing lots of tired signs at around the 2hr 45m and pushing him to stay awake another half an hour is tough before his naps. Didn't manage it this morning, but then he was in the sling unfortunately, so i'm not surprised.

This afternoon I really felt I had to get him down a few mins earlier than I planned and he was asleep by 3hr 10 and I didn't hear a peep out of him for the whole 2hr nap, which is unusual... so does that suggest the A was about right? Or does the fact it was in the carseat make it more difficult to tell?

It is hard to tell if he is more or less tired in general to be honest, he is certainly fighting sleep from the 2hr 45 mark but he is better refreshed in the afternoons now he is getting a 2 hour car seat nap in the pm and is definitely more awake at bedtime, although he has always been pretty grizzly at this time. But he is quite demanding generally, so judging him overall is quite difficult.

WRT A time til bed I'd probably keep it fairly short for now.  Generally you only work on extending one A at a time so I'd play about with that first A time and keep the others roughly as they were until you've got that first one sorted.  I don't know,  I was never very good at A time to bed but I'd keep it at something like 2hrs 30 - 2hrs 45 after a good PM nap if you can. Does he seem tired before bed most days or is he ok?

This is where i'm confused - I just couldn't put him down at 2hr 30 or 2hr 45 at the moment and be confident he'd be down for the night, I really do think he'd be UT. I'm feeling like the >2hr pm naps are causing an issue.

I honestly think his sleep would be better if he was taking x2 1.5 naps.... but with the rubbish am cot naps, that is just not possible  :-\

I am very disheartened and I feel like I am causing more problems than I am solving. Listening to him screaming having woken up after bedtime, once again, I just feel like I am getting it totally wrong & we're both suffering for it.

Perhaps I need to cut his As back to 2hr 45 and try and get 3 short naps in a day?
« Last Edit: January 24, 2014, 21:32:25 pm by BusterB »

Offline BusterB

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #53 on: January 24, 2014, 21:31:34 pm »
Also, keep meaning to ask - how are you getting on with separating your E's from your S' s?

That's been no problem at all - I just reverted back to more of the traditional EASY that we were on before my supply dropped. So this morning for eg he fed at 7ish and napped at 10ish.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2014, 21:36:55 pm by BusterB »

Offline BusterB

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #54 on: January 24, 2014, 21:44:13 pm »
Just to add - I'm also worrying that this could be a hunger issue? I'm still not confident my supply is right and he seemed to empty one side in 2mins 45 seconds this evening, before coming off crying and refusing to relatch that side, which can't possibly have been enough? I had done an additional feed 2 hours before bed this evening, so I was hoping that would see him through, but i'm starting to doubt myself.

Also the fact that he settled for 5 hours after I fed him back to sleep last night made me wonder.....

He has never had a bottle though, so I can't even try a FF to see if that help  :-\

Offline LovelyLilyandJack

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #55 on: January 24, 2014, 21:59:47 pm »
Funnily enough,  I was just thinking that at this age I found I had to feed twice in an A time to get a good nap.  I haven't got time for a proper reply right now I'm afraid,  but how about tomorrow you give a top up feed at 2hrs-ish A time and pd at 2hrs 45 if that's when he's giving tired signs and see where that gets you? If he's settling well for that nap generally I don't think you can be that far off with his A times. J will fight a nap if he needs at least 30 minutes more A time and will go down ok if he's just tired,  or OT but I don't know if he's typical!

Also, sorry but I can't remember if you've been trying to resettle him from that first nap? If so, how long are you trying for?



Offline BusterB

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #56 on: January 24, 2014, 22:15:10 pm »
Also, sorry but I can't remember if you've been trying to resettle him from that first nap? If so, how long are you trying for?

He is way too awake to resettle from nap 1 - I did try for a while last year and drove myself mad. I would spend up to an hour trying, but it never once worked so I gave up, for my own sanity.

I did manage to get him to sleep in the carseat when he'd only been up for about 45 minutes on Monday - he was giving me tired signs though and that doesn't happen very often, normally the short nap refreshes him for almost a full A time. Funnily enough, that night's sleep was amazing - so the extra morning sleep obviously agreed with him, just wish I could replicate it.

Thanks for your response, I may well try the shorter A times tomorrow just to reassure myself that I was right to extend them in the first place (which I do think I was) - i'm just nervous about changing so much around in such short spaces of time, poor baby must not know if he's coming or going!

Offline TB9

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #57 on: January 25, 2014, 01:51:32 am »
Hi hun, sorry I havent been around.  DD2 caught a cold this week and weve had some pretty horrible nights...I wouldnt have been able to give any sensical advice as I was so tired  ;)

I like the idea of feeding twice during an A time to help LO get through a decent nap. As long as that second feed isnt too close to S you will be fine.  So as LL&J suggested with timing would work well :)  I found I needed to feed twice during dds first A, but she only needed 1 feed between naps to get an ok 2nd nap out of her.  So you may not have to do it for every A time, but I would at least try 2 feeds during the first A so he gets the chance for a good am nap, then maybe 2 feeds in his last A before bed. 

Offline LovelyLilyandJack

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #58 on: January 25, 2014, 07:00:03 am »
Right, I'm back now, with a bit more time to read your thread :)


Thanks for your response, I may well try the shorter A times tomorrow just to reassure myself that I was right to extend them in the first place (which I do think I was)

I think if he won't resettle from that nap then you are right to increase his A times, plus often mummy's gut feel is right anyway ;) But I would try the lower A with 2 feeds just to reassure yourself, like you say, that it's not a feeding issue.  I re-read your thread and you said at the beginning that you'd increased his A times to 2hrs 45 recently, so I assume you've tried various other A times like 2hrs 30 anyway.  If the extra feed doesn't help then probably the next thing to try is a later nap. Let us know how you get on :)



Offline BusterB

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Re: Low sleep needs or wrong routine?
« Reply #59 on: January 25, 2014, 07:10:26 am »
Hi hun, sorry I havent been around.  DD2 caught a cold this week and weve had some pretty horrible nights...I wouldnt have been able to give any sensical advice as I was so tired  ;)

Oh Tinkerbell99, i'm so sorry to hear you LO is poorly :( really hope she feels better soon!

I like the idea of feeding twice during an A time to help LO get through a decent nap. As long as that second feed isnt too close to S you will be fine.  So as LL&J suggested with timing would work well :)  I found I needed to feed twice during dds first A, but she only needed 1 feed between naps to get an ok 2nd nap out of her.  So you may not have to do it for every A time, but I would at least try 2 feeds during the first A so he gets the chance for a good am nap, then maybe 2 feeds in his last A before bed. 

Thanks for the tip to both of you and it is something that I have been trying to do but I did try and feed him twice yesterday before 1st nap, and he refused the top up feed I offered an hour before the nap. He has taken to BLW with gusto this week and so perhaps not quite as hungry morning and afternoons (I don't feed solids near bedtime)?

I would say I am doing a mix of routine and on demand feeding, as long as feeds are over an hour before naps - up until bedtime, where I am offering more to try and make sure he is topped up. So think i'm pretty much following your advice already on that one.

However, the first nap has never extended with or without a top up - that one is 100% not hunger related, that is something either developmental, related to routine or something I just haven't figured out yet..... and I do think solving that mystery is almost the key to the rest..... any other ideas on that one greatly appreciated....   

Last night he woke every 2-3 hours and was awake early, I heard him at 6am, but think he was probably awake before that (5:45am?).... so not a great night. He seemed pretty OT to me. I fed him each time he woke i'm afraid, was too exhausted to do anything else.... but at the midnight feed I put him back in cot wide awake and he had to settle himself back to sleep (which he did in less than 10 mins, hence my thinking OT)....it's leaving me feeling a bit lost regarding his routine...

Also looks like we have to be out and about a lot today, so going to be lots of car time & that is going to mess any routine right up! SO perhaps I just go with flow today and then start again tomorrow, perhaps with shorter A times... ?