I have just been reading so many helpful posts on the subject of habitual wakings and think that am starting to understand what needs to be done, but I would be very grateful for any input based on our situation. I have come to the resolution that the night wakings that I had down to 3 month growth spurt/development are actually now, at 4 months, habitual night wakings and I am hoping to come up with an action plan to stop them! Any advice would be greatly received.
For a little background - my little boy is 4 months old today & at approx 10 weeks he seemed to have a leap in development and was able to STTN (between 5-11.5 hour stretches) and if he did wake, he would feed and go straight back to sleep.
He goes down for the night independently, in a co-sleeper cot, with minimal fuss after his bedtime routine (bath, massage, PJs, sleep sack & BF) with a lovie and white noise. So far, I have always fed him when he wakes in the night as his wake pattern seemed to fit with hunger and obviously as he was doing such long stretches and was falling back to sleep, I had no issues.
At the same time he STTN, he dropped all day sleep all of a sudden - we had 2 days, at 10 weeks, where he didn't sleep
at all and so I armed myself with BW & No Cry Nap solutions books, a black out blind & as much info as I could get on the internet and we really focused on naps. So I had a very OT little boy on my hands, who although is 'textbook' in most things, where sleep is concerned is very easily overstimulated.
I soon realised that although he is able to fall asleep by himself if you catch him at the right point, or with up to 20 mins fussing if not, he is a chronic cat-napper (30-45 mins tops in the crib) and he is impossible to resettle, once awake. We therefore do re-sets now and I wait for the next set of sleepy cues. He used to wake up screaming from catnaps, but these days is fairly content on waking.
I am very strict about his morning nap being in the crib, even though I know he will only sleep 30 mins - as I believe this is a developmental thing and one day he will shock me with a nice long nap! All other naps are AP, as I make sure he gets a minimum of 3 hours sleep and if I didn't do this not only would he not hit this target but he wouldn't get anything over 45 mins in one stretch, so wouldn't get any restorative sleep. In the car-seat or walking in the sling he can generally sleep anything up to 3 hours - but often a minimum of 1.5 hours no probs. However at one point a couple of weeks ago, during GS fussiness, I was spending 3-4 hours a day walking with him and not only is this killing my back but I just can't maintain that sort of activity on such disturbed night sleep, it's starting to get to me
With such a short napper I haven't been able to follow 3 hour EASY very easily where the sleep bits were concerned but eating (exclusively BF, both sides at each feed) and activity times (1.5hr) basically followed the 3 hour pattern.
I am now transitioning him to 3.5 hour EASY as this week his A time has jumped to 1.75hr and he was taking less at feeds, so is definitely able to go longer until he is really hungry/
On Mon this week he also learned to roll over & he's also starting to teethe - more things that I was putting the night wakings down to, but it really dawned on me whilst feeding him last night that he is not hungry for at least 2 of the night wakings and I need to help us both get a bit more sleep as the disturbance can't be good for him and as I said it is also taking its toll on me now (especially my nipples, which are no longer getting much respite and are pretty raw now, as he has a shallow latch - but that is a separate issue!)
I didn't think he has issues with nipple dependency as I always put him down awake at night after feeding and until this week I haven't been able to feed him to sleep for naps, even if I wanted to - but with the night wakings it does seem that he wants boob - but then I have never tried NOT feeding him so I don't know 100%?!
One slight problem we have and one of the reasons that I have always fed him when he wakes in night, is that we have a neighbour at very close proximity (we are in a flat) and I really can't have him wailing at night. I do leave him to fuss for up to 10 mins once awake, just in case he goes back to sleep, but this has only happened twice.
Obviously I realise something is going to have to give to fix this though and I may have to speak to my neighbour if we are going to have to let him cry
My husband and I have decided that we're going to try and tackle it this weekend and my husband will do the settling on the wakings where we do not believe he is hungry - but I guess I am nervous about misjudging this. Is there any real way to discern hunger at night? If anyone has advice on how we tackle this, or can advise if we can do this without much crying, or how long it is likely to last i'd be very grateful indeed.
Here are the last couple of days routine - however every day is so different at the moment;
Tues Awake @ 6:30
E 6:50 for 10 m
A 1hr 50
S 8:25 - 9am (35 mins in crib)
E 9:45 for 10 m
A 1hr 45
S 10:45 - 11:25am (45 mins cant remember if crib or sling?)
E 12:50 for 32 m
A X none as fed to sleep and I had to go out so transferred to carseat
S 1:20pm (1hr 55 in carseat)
E 3:35pm for 35 m
A 1hr 55
S 5pm CN (15m in crib - woke up very cranky so initiated earlier BT routine @ 5:45)
BT E 6:12pm
BT S 6:35pm (put down awake settled after 5 mins fussing)
NW 10:45pm 22m
2:15am 18m
4:10am 12m (one side only)
Weds Awake 6:10am
E 6:25 for 22m
A 1hr 50
S 8 - 8:30am (30 mins in crib)
E 9:10am for 6m
A tried to follow cues and put him down at approx 10:15am, but crying escalated to inconsolable so we reset
S 11:30am - 12:15pm (45 mins in sling)
E 12:25pm for 20m
A 1hr 15m
S 1:30 - 4:10pm (Long AP nap in the car as had lots of errands to do)
E 4:10pm for 13 m
A 1hr 15m
S 5:25pm (CN 25 mins in sling)
BT routine @ 6:15pm
BT 7:15 pm put down awake, self settled with no (audible) fussing
NW 10:10pm 15m
12:30am 15m
2:45am 9m (one side only & fell asleep)
4:40am 15m (one side fell asleep put in crib - instantly woke up crying. Left for 10 mins but then gave other side and he fell asleep in 3 mins on boob and transferred no probs)
Thurs Awake 6:35am
A refused feed at 7am
E 8am Fell asleep (sods law was correct sleep time!) - woke up when transitioned to crib, left to resettle for 20 mins until crying escalated. Turns out he had a dirty nappy and was then wide awake!
A Was a happy chap but definitely more subdued than normal - watched sleep cues very carefully
S 10:15 - 10:45am (30 mins in pram out walking)
E 11:30am for 12 mins
A
S 12:15pm (40 mins in carseat)
... so that is where we are now... he is massively behind on his sleep for today and giving so many sleepy cues (eye rubbing etc) but otherwise WIDE awake and I'm dreading having to walk with him for at least 2 hours this afternoon, followed by him waking up so much in the night....
Has anyone else successfully stopped habitual wakings in their tracks? Would love to hear a success story. Sorry this has turned out to be such a long post, I just tried to include everything from the 'please read before posting' section!
Thanks in advance!