Author Topic: newborn easy mess - too much e, not enough s, confusing a! *and it continues...  (Read 2509 times)

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Offline mycatmonet

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Appreciate advice... not sure if this is just newborn behaviour or if I can tweak! DS is just over 3 weeks old. He is always bf. I can't seem to get him to sleep without bf most of the time. So we have eaes. But, he dozes during bf so he has s mixed up in his a. And s naps are usually short, so e happens much more frequently than 3hrly. Or even more than 2 hrly. I encouraged frequent bf to get it established (worried after rough start I had with DD) so not sure if he is just being a normal newborn or if I am perpetuating the constant feeding. He doesnt ever seem super hungry though, I assume due to the frequency of the bf and short naps too. And is the short napping due to snoozing on the boob? It's all a bit messy and not sure how to change things or wait it out and see what time brings. I keep reminding myaelf he's only 3 weeks... longest 3 weeks in my life, feels like he's been here for months!
« Last Edit: March 28, 2014, 22:12:24 pm by mycatmonet »


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Re: newborn easy mess - too much e, not enough s, confusing a!
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2014, 10:54:10 am »
I can remember how tiring those early weeks were!

I didn't start EASY until about 4.5 wks so this isn't exactly the same experience however at 4.5 wks mine still couldn't go to 3hr feeds. It was more like 2h.5hrs or so and we gradually extended a little at a time. (I think it is very normal not to be on 3hr feeds straight off esp with bf) We also started then to put a small gap between E and S, not a full A time but a minute or two then gradually extended it.  Sorry I can't really help WRT bf as that was the same time I stopped due to constant problems.  FWIW I think you're doing the right thing though feeding on demand to establish in the early days and to respond to all the GSs.  I would just try to rest as much as possible and tell yourself this phase won't last for ever. It's funny how those first weeks feel like months but once they are over then seem to have gone by in a flash.


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Re: newborn easy mess - too much e, not enough s, confusing a!
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2014, 11:10:59 am »
Not really any advice but just wanted to drop off some hugs cos we're in v similar situation. H is BFing every 2-2.5 hrs (maybe odd 3hr stretch at night) and naps are short.  We're muddling through though and hope things will settle a bit when she can go longer between feeds. Main aim at the moment is not to feed to sleep so when needed im using a sling to apop a longer nap.
DD1 - 8 years old
DD2 - 5 years old

Offline mycatmonet

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Re: newborn easy mess - too much e, not enough s, confusing a!
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2014, 11:12:53 am »
Thanks creations. Its tricky cos they are so little as nb but expectations creep in and it is easy to imagine they are capable of more than they are. I wonder if I am less demand feeding and moreso offering too much though!


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Re: newborn easy mess - too much e, not enough s, confusing a!
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2014, 11:18:02 am »
Thanks catherine! Hugs back at you! Am going to a babywearing meet monday to see if there is a good option for us carrier wise. Dh goes back to work tomorrow. Would be good to have some routine but guess I need patience a while longer!


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Re: newborn easy mess - too much e, not enough s, confusing a!
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2014, 11:32:06 am »
I really wouldn’t worry about it yet.  There are so many GS when they are little and frequent feeding is a natures way to tell your body to produce more.
Perhaps you are concerned that you are relying on bfing rather than shush/pat for helping him sleep?  At 3 wks I really wouldn't worry, if this is already in your mind then that's enough IMO.  When we started EASY my mother would always try to re-offer the (old!) bottle when it was nap time even, totally encouraging feeding to sleep even though he wasn't crying for food or at all hungry, it's was just her way, drove me nuts of course.  I felt that at 4.5 or 5wks old mine didn't need the bottle to sleep, but he did need help and it was a gradual process to teach him to sleep alone.
Thing is even if you did feed to sleep what 's the worst that happens?  So you have a prop, so what? it's not for life, you can wean that at any point when you feel it necessary or you're ready.
I honestly don't think you can stop every 3wk old falling to sleep on the breast, I know you can encourage them to stay awake but there's all that sleepy hormone stuff in your milk (get me, I have no idea what it's called!) and they are tiny and exhausted from the effort to feed. When he's a bit older he will manage to be a bit more awake.
I know we all want to start off with good habits but there is massive benefit to the bonding and trust he's getting from bf. I just don't see any negative in that at all (other than you being utterly exhausted, sore nipples, never sleep etc etc etc...yeah ok there are some negatives, but not for him).


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Re: newborn easy mess - too much e, not enough s, confusing a!
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2014, 11:36:44 am »
Would be good to have some routine but guess I need patience a while longer!
You may not be as far off as you think.
You might not reach a 3hr EASY but you might manage some sort of routine a week or two from now where you begin to feel a bit more in control and knowing what to expect through the day. We were still a pair of zombies at 3wks but by 6 weeks there was a proper EASY, I knew exactly what to expect, so did DS, and i was able to plan and throw a wetting baby's head party.  There's a big difference in just a few weeks.
(and just another couple of weeks he was independent sleeping, they can all of a sudden seem very grown up! Mine wouldn’t sleep in arms anymore and i thought all our cuddles were gone for ever!)


Offline mycatmonet

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Re: newborn easy mess - too much e, not enough s, confusing a!
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2014, 20:33:55 pm »
Oh creations you are so wise! Xx makes me feel better!!


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Re: newborn easy mess - too much e, not enough s, confusing a!
« Reply #8 on: February 15, 2014, 08:41:54 am »
 :-*

Enjoy the baby wearing meet up.


Offline mycatmonet

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Re: newborn easy mess - too much e, not enough s, confusing a!
« Reply #9 on: March 03, 2014, 03:19:10 am »
Babywearing=naps! Zac is nearly 6 weeks now. Still cosleeping, I can't get more than 30min in the cot out of him. Often 5-10min. Have to apop pd asleep as ssh pat isn't working yet. In the carrier he will nap a good 1.5-2.5hrs. But, I still have the dozy endless feeds and ambiguous a times. He is generally quiet and content which is nice, but it's doing my head in still. Wonder if he will settle into a normal 3 naps pattern etc or if some babies just don't?  Is it possible for him not to be a napper but sttn (apparently I was mum says). Atm cosleeping I bf to sleep and his nf is at 3.30am/4am but I think that is less him hungry and more him making noises needing to poo and pass wind and I feed him in an attempt to keep him quiet as to not wake dd. That's a decent stretch without bf, if he was in his own bed i'd be happy with that nf arrangement!


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Re: newborn easy mess - too much e, not enough s, confusing a!
« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2014, 07:59:03 am »
Glad to hear you like the baby wearing!
LO's sort out their night sleep long before their day sleep so it is quite normal to have a longer/better stretch at night first.  He's still just tiny too. This was the age I started EASY and nudged us up to 3hr E. I tried every nap time to get him down whether before sleep or after, sometimes we managed other times not. It took 30 mins or so though, I'd say 5-10 mins of swaddling and WD and then an additional 20 mins going through the phases of falling to sleep. I could set my clock on the 20 min of falling to sleep it was quite amazing that Tracy's words were so accurate on that!  I only had the one to care for though and I imagine having another LO around makes it harder to put that amount of time into every nap when there are so many in the day!
I would just continue as you are, baby wearing and getting everyone as much sleep as possible, for now.  At least with the sling you can get on with some other things :)


Offline mycatmonet

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So ds is now 9.5weeks. He is still pulling long As... 6.5hrs between 3pm and 9.30pm last night. Assuming he is ot big time but he is happy all the time and is wiiide awake. Yesterday he had 3 35-45min naps and that's it. Bt at 9.35pm and wu 3.05am. Coslept feeding and fussing from gas until 6.30am.
Urgh if I didn't know better I would probably not think there was a problem as ds is so happy and alert. But really how can he consistently pull these huge A times? It can't be just lsn...


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Hmm..even for LSN it does sound like he could do with a bit more sleep doesn't it?
How's the baby wearing going? Are you still able to get a decent nap out of him in a sling?
Is he generally healthy? (and can you remind me was he full term and average weight?)

Could you post your EAS times in the regular format like this
WU 6.30
E 6.30
A 1.5hrs
S 8.00 - 8.30
A (if you don't have regular EAS but instead EASAEAS then show this)
E 9.30
etc

Did you want to get him sleeping independently now in his crib? Or are you continuing to co-sleep? (just need to know where we are up to if for example you want some naps in the stroller etc). Could you also show on your EASY where he sleeps for each S (sling, arms, co-sleep, crib etc).


Offline jessmum46

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Not got anything to add advice-wise hun (creations totally has it covered!) but wanted to drop off some hugs for you :). Remember in some respects a second LO is always going to be harder once you have an awareness of OT/UT etc - J was very much like you're describing but I was blissfully ignorant (hadn't found BW at that stage) and just took it for what it was.  Some LOs do easily fall into a predictable pattern early on, but some don't and that's no fault of yours :-* you're doing a great job however it feels xx

Offline mycatmonet

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Thanks ladies! My bedtime so will try to make sense here...
Ds was born 40+5, was 8lb 1oz and is healthy and growing nicely, no concerns healthwise.
Love babywearing - he naps fine in the emeibaby carrier, he can go a good 2-3hrs in it. I haven't used it at home for a bit, but I had him nap at the shops on Wednesday for 1h45min.
He naps in a swing atm. First part of the night is also in the swing, and after nf I cosleep. A couple times I pd again in swing after nf and he diid 45min more there. He has done a few good 5-6.5hr stretches at bt. The swing only rocks for an hour and he is swaddled.
Today was:
Wu not sure as bf and fussing with gas on and off from 3am really. We got up at 6.45am
E a few times - feeding on demand and also to try and get him sleepy so we do lots of E... I will keep track tomorrow. I just know it is all.the.time
A 3hrs ish?
S 9.25am-11.25am 2hr nap
E 11.30am and few times until next nap
A 2hr 20min
S 2.15pm-2.50pm 35min nap in swing
E 3pm, periodically until bt. I was bf from 6.45-8.45pm pretty much constantly except at 7.45pm I got fed up and did the dishes. I was trying to make him sleepy rather than him really being hungry yk though he is more than happy to hang out on the boob!
Bt asleep 8.45pm... in the swing
I do want him to sleep in his cot, the swing was an attempt to help him sleep alone but it isn't appropriate to keep going!
So I have been bf to asleep, swaddle, generally wakes and put in swing. I have seen him ss in transitions, eyes wide open and he goes back to sleep so I know he can do it! Just not all the time it appears.
Will try keep better track of our day tomorrow. Xx