I think I'm the problem -23 mth old NW

[Jaxsta81]

Right, I'm beginning to think I am the cause for my son not sttn at nearly 2 yrs old-basically I'm way too soft and hate hearing him distressed at night. I'm not like this in the day and can be quite firm with May boundaries but at night I turn into a complete sap!! I think I read too much about the damage of controlled crying and connection between a loving mum ands son and how if that isn't achieved by Bligh blah date your e set them up for a life of thearpy.

Anyway, I think we have that challenge, plus the NWs and plus a dummy bunny. I gave no idea where to start.

The NWs could be 2 in a night , one around 10pm and another around 1am.  Settling is normally guiding him back to lying down, dummy in and walk out, silent. My husband has a 100% success rate but with me my son goes into a crazy spin sometimes asking for milk (cos I did that once about 2 wks ago) or just crying out for me. I don't think it's SA, I think he knows I'm a soft touch.

Do I just need to grow some balls and get tough and firm with his NWs and do wiwo?

Should I leave the dummy till after or whilst sleep is so bad throw it in there?!?

Thanks for reading xxx

[HenaV]

Bless you, don't be too hard on yourself, haven't we all been there. If your DH is able to settle him without difficulty then it is likely he's playing you. Well done you for recognising it though. You'll be amazed at how many people don't!!  Now, does he SS to sleep at BT / nt - is it just the NW that he 'needs' you?

Do you think the NW are habitual or caused by routine issues etc?

Can you post his day in EAS so we can have a look?

Hena x

[Jaxsta81]

Thank you, I'm not too bad turning the critical eye upon myself. After all we're all going in blind first time round!!

Average day is

WU 6.30am
Nap 12-1.30 (sometimes longer if at home at wkds, generally dies 1-1.5 hrs at childminder, will be capping at 2hrs when at home)
Bath 6.15pm
Bottle 6.45pm
Bed- 7pm

Never really have issues at bedtime, goes off like a dream. It's more the NWs which are around 9/10pm and 12/1am and then he is sleeping through to morning.

I mean it's not hellish but it's still broken sleep for dad and me.
We had an EW this morning, 5.30am but I think that's more to do with him resettling into the schedule as was not in childminders last week as he had chickenpox, but these NWs have always been happening.

[HenaV]

Ok, at nearly 2yrs I'd be looking at pushing that nap out to closer to 1pm, capped at 2h if it needs capping.

He clearly knows that you will be there for himfornyhe NW and stay etc and tbf that what he knows, so it's time to get tough. Which for you IMO means either DH deals with alll yen me until your LO realises the game is over and starts SS when be NWs or you do Wi/WO.

What do you reckon?

H

[Jaxsta81]

Well I'm getting a bit more tough. He's crying at the moment but we have no idea why and we're only going up every few mins. Ok that might not sound like much but we were going in within 10 seconds of us first hearing him, resettling and walking out, so it is an improvement. As I've typed this he's gone silent so it might be working. Oh no...he's started again!

It's so much worse when they cry out for you!! It actually crushes me inside!!

Good idea on the nap times, was thinking that myself.