Fussy Fussy Fussy!

[Laboroditsky]

Hello. First time poster here! A little about me:
My LO (Hannah) is 6 weeks old.
Her first few days on this earth were not the greatest. At our hospital, the nurses were adamant that I needed to BF, although she was not really getting anything when she did. They told me "don't worry, you will have your milk any day now and that will fix everything. I tried pumping, hand expressing, and BFing a screaming baby ALOT for 2 days, until finally, a doc who could see how frustrated and sleep deprived me AND DH were from dealing with a baby that cried for pretty much the entire first 2 days of her life were, and suggested that we supplement with formula. Lo and behold, little Hannah slept most of the third day. However, this did NOT set the stage for a wonderful BFing experience.
This, compounded by the fact that I did not get my "magical" milk that would solve all the problems of the world on that fated 3rd day, nipples that were too short and flat, and a baby that proved to not really want to do the work to get what she needed, we have supplemented with formula from that day on.
She is currently bottle fed with a 50/50 split of EBM and formula.
I started with EASY about 1 week ago. Like probably all new moms, I am still getting to know my LO, and some days it is more of a struggle than others, so I do my best to be as consistent with everything as possible.

I actually have 2 questions, the main one is about LO's feeding habits.
She is FRANTIC as soon as feeding begins about 85% of the time. She breathes really fast, if I leave her hands free (I usually tuck them away to avoid this) she grabs and claws at the bottle, she fills up her mouth and then swallows, but often there is formula/EMB flowing out of the corners of her mouth. I have tried EVERY nipple out there, so I can say that it is not the individual nipple, and it is not a problem with the flow. (The faster nipple that I tried just made her choke and cough). She does not spit up a lot (when she does it is usually projectile, but that only happens one and a while), she burps okay, and generally takes close to 3 oz every 3 hours. I have tried feeding her more upright, and laying flat. Head straight, and to the side. In a dark room with no stimulation while swaddled, without a swaddle and in the living room with DH chatting away and the TV blaring. I have tried feeding her right out of a nap, (so she is still sleepy) and after changing her diaper to wake her up a bit. (I have tried all sorts of combinations of these as well). I burp her at least twice every feed. Every time that I take the bottle away to burp her or mop up her face, she cries like no one's business. When she does that, I burp her, wait for her to calm down, offer the bottle again. She will take it, and the frantic behavior starts all over again. When I asked my doc, she simply said that it sounds like that might just be her "personality" (She is a touchy baby with a little grump in her according to the questionnaire). I have finally chosen what bottle I am using as it created the best latch for her. I am just not sure if this truly is just how she is going to feed, if it is just her "temperament" and if it is "going to get better" as everyone has told me it will.  Help? Insight?

My second questions is about CUES.
I have been implementing SLOW each time that my touchy little Hannah lets out a cry. However, I still HAVE NO CLUE what she needs. At least once a day, at varying times, she has a meltdown to which I cannot figure out a solution. Generally I find that it is right before sleep time, after her activity. However, today it was right after she woke from her nap, and she only ate 1/3 of her bottle. As long as time wise she should eat soon, I will offer her food, and then I just run through the gamut of what could be wrong and when I get to the end, I just go into her dark room with some white noise in the background and hold her close and shush her until she gets to the end of her rant. There is no 3 hour crying bouts, and they happen randomly, so I am fairly certain that she does not have colic. (Her stomach also does not get hard). I mostly think that perhaps she is overstimulated, but have a hard time telling if she is. What should I look for to try and determine if that is the issue? I watch very closely for her "tired" cues, during activity....perhaps I am just missing that window? She does not generally nap for very long either, which tells me that she is either overstimulated or under tired when I lay her down?

Sorry that this is so long winded, but any help, thoughts or insight from the experts might help out.
Thanks for you time, Lisa and Hannah

[Lolly]

My LO (Hannah) is 6 weeks old.
Her first few days on this earth were not the greatest. At our hospital, the nurses were adamant that I needed to BF, although she was not really getting anything when she did. They told me "don't worry, you will have your milk any day now and that will fix everything. I tried pumping, hand expressing, and BFing a screaming baby ALOT for 2 days, until finally, a doc who could see how frustrated and sleep deprived me AND DH were from dealing with a baby that cried for pretty much the entire first 2 days of her life were, and suggested that we supplement with formula. Lo and behold, little Hannah slept most of the third day. However, this did NOT set the stage for a wonderful BFing experience.
This, compounded by the fact that I did not get my "magical" milk that would solve all the problems of the world on that fated 3rd day, nipples that were too short and flat, and a baby that proved to not really want to do the work to get what she needed, we have supplemented with formula from that day on.

Hello and welcome! I have a Hannah too!

Your early experience sounds like mine. I'm not sure if you know though that in the first  couple of days a feed for a newborn in only a few ml of colostrum at a time so she probably was getting enough if she was latching properly. My milk didn't come in until day 5, so the transition from colostrum to milk can take a few days, I think 3 days is the average. Has she been checked for tongue tie - that can be the issue for fussy feeding and problems breastfeeding. Both my kids are severely tongue ties hence being bottle fed.

I would expect her feeds to be bigger than 3oz at 6 weeks, I think both of mine were taking at least 5oz by now so she could be frantic because she is starving but if she is finding it hard to transfer milk she isn't taking enough to last her 3 hours. You could try feeding her at shorter intervals so you catch her before she is so frantic for the feed.

Have you tried a vari-flow teat, the ones that the baby controls by how hard they suck?

Does she have any symptoms of reflux at all? Reflux 101 - General reflux information

{{HUGS}} the newborn days are very hard!

Laura

[Laboroditsky]

Great name (woot woot!)

Yes, they did let me know that she did not need much, but she also really did not latch, and when she did, she was WAY too lazy to get anything. She is an "I want it NOW" baby for sure, (the nurses even recognized that in the hospital) and if she did not get something after 30 seconds, she resorted to crying and screaming..........not fun to continually try and get a baby doing that on your breast. At least I missed that "bonding" feeling for sure! And once she got a little formula, she did a 360, so I can only assume that she really was hungry! For me, I am JUST getting a decent milk supply at this point, have been on domperadone since a few days after she came.

As far as the reflux information, I can account for maybe 10% of those symptoms. But most of them that I can say she does, I think are also pretty normal "baby" stuff. Yes, she spits up, every once and a while. Yes, there are times that she cries and I cannot figure out why. But she is quite happy to lay on her back, she an okay sleeper at night (We have not made it to 4 hours yet, but from about 7 pm - 7 am she only feeds 3x) Perhaps she has mild reflux?

I do not think that she is starving, she does routinely go 3 hours before wanting to feed, there are times that we only get to 2.5, but mostly she will go 3. She has been steadily gaining weight since about day 3 (she lost quite a bit at first, gained, then lost again -I was still attempting to BF at that point- and since going to bottle only, has steadily gained weight) and read that she should be getting about 2.5oz per lb of weight. That would put her currently needing about 24 oz a day. She gets on average somewhere between 21-24, and doesn't cry after feeds. HOWEVER, I am happy to up the amount in her bottles and see if she goes longer or stays happier! Worst thing that happens is that she leaves a little on the bottom of the bottle if she is no longer hungry, right?

The only nipple here that I could find with vari-flow are the tomee tipee, and when I tried those with her, she collapsed the nipple. She a good little sucker!

The days are hard, but she sure is a sweet little thing! (and we worked HARD for this LO, we went through 3 failed pregnancies before we succeeded with Hannah! - this may make me a little hyper sensitive to everything she does!)

Thank you so much for the quick reply!

Lisa

[Lolly]

I am happy to up the amount in her bottles and see if she goes longer or stays happier! Worst thing that happens is that she leaves a little on the bottom of the bottle if she is no longer hungry, right?

With a bottle feed there should be some left in the bottle at the end of a feed so that you know she has stopped because she is full and not just because the bottle is empty. If she is draining bottles you need to increase them by an oz or 2!

Keep the reflux idea in mind but this could just be new babyness and she will settle down. Are you keeping her A times short and very low key? An hour from eyes open to eyes closed is probably all she can handle now.

It's hard but it looks like you are doing a great job even if it doesn't feel like it!

Laura

[Laboroditsky]

Thanks so much. I will increase her bottles starting today! 

I will keep my eyes on the reflux thing and see if I see anything that would indicate a more pressing issue. I don't think that it is, but you really never do know with babies, do you?

Her A times from the moment she is up to when she goes down are probably closer to 1.5hrs than 1 hr. Especially in the morning when she tends to only nap for 30-45 mins at a time. And it does usually take at least 20 mins to get her to go for her nap.
For her "A" - first thing in the morning, she gets a diaper change, then we just do skin to skin in low light and I sing/talk to her softly (sometimes I have to skip even that as she is already falling back asleep after her diaper change)
For the next A she will do her tummy time (we still only get about a minute of that) and then she will just play independently in her playpen, usually with a B/W picture on one side (I am careful to switch that so she doesn't end up with a flat head!)
For the next A she usually goes into her playmat. There are toys at her feet that make noise when she kicks them, and one toy near her hands to see if she will reach for it. I usually remove the toy by her hands after a few minutes and let her continue to kick with her feet until I see any signs of tired.
For the next A we go for a walk outside. This does last about an hour, and she sleeps through MOST of it.
And lastly, before "bedtime" she will get a bath.
Times will vary as her wake up times vary. We try to have bathtime no later than 7.30pm

I had noticed that a lot of her "fussing" happened before naptime, so once I see any signs that she is tired, I sweep her up, swaddle her, take her into her room away from the fuss and muss of the living room (although there are times that she is so sleepy I just let her sleep right in her playpen) and start pat/sh (and I will admit, some rocking) until her eyes are just starting to close, at which point I will put her in her crib and continue the pat/sh until she is close to sleeping. Once I leave the room I rarely have to return, and if I do, it has only ever been once. Her morning nap tends to only last 30-45 mins (however, more food might just solve this one - if she is fuller!) and has closer to a 2 hr nap in the afternoon. (This will sometimes throw my 3 hr EASY off, but I have always wanted to let her sleep because her naps in the morning are so short, and she is doing not bad at night).

[Lolly]

Those short first naps could be because she is a bit OT (over tired) by the time you get her to sleep. The average awake times for 4-8 weeks are 1 hour to 1 hour 15, that's eyes open to eyes closed so your wind down needs to be included in that time. I think by the time she is getting fussy at nap time you may well be at the time she should have been asleep by. When they are this tiny 10/15 mins can make a huge difference really.

chronological EASY samples, 0-3 months

Increase her bottles and keep an eye on the A times and hopefully it will help the fussiness and naps! Glad her nights aren't too bad though!

Laura

[Laboroditsky]

Laura - Good diagnosis! We are still in the "figure it out" stage, but after a hospital visit and a pediatrician visit, she is on an antacid, as the doc thinks that she has reflux. And seeing as we gave it to her yesterday for the first time and after a nice long nap she fed like a champ, I think that he might be right. The jury is still out as we are only on day 1, but she slept for 4.5 hrs for the first time ever last night and again had a really good feed this morning. Doc advised only 3.5-4 oz per feed (7 times a day) so I am doing 4oz and she certainly left some in the bottle for the last 2 feeds.
Now that we have that sorted, I am able to focus on EASY and getting things in better order when possible. No wonder the little nugget was having such a hard time!
As I said, good diagnosis!! (Just goes to show that you really know your babies!)

[Lolly]

Oh no! I don't like being right about reflux

I'm glad you have had a better day anyway.

If you have any questions about reflux or treatments and help have a look over on the colic reflux and crying board Colic, Reflux, & Crying.

Laura