12 weeks - need help tweaking the routine - evenings not working

[juliem]

Hi, this is my 1st time writing.. so if I'm not posting in the correct spot, or not following proper etiquette, please just let me know.  I'm writing because I would like to make some changes in our routine, and would like some advice on where to start. 

Our little girl just turned 12 weeks old.

From about her 4th week, we've been on an E-A-S routine.  We follow her sleep cues.  When she yawns, we head upstairs and start winding down, which is usually an hour after she wakes up.  I feed her as soon as she wakes up.  We then have an activity. 

Her cycle has been roughly 2 - 2.5 hours, 4-5 naps per day, but she's now starting to stretch out to 3 hours, 4 naps. 

At night, the bedtime routine used to be: quiet activity, bath, pyjama, drink, and fall asleep. 

Her 10th/11th weeks were difficult - possibly a growth spurt - she started being very cranky from 7pm - 10pm, screaming in the bath, and protesting sleep alltogether.  @ 10, she'd finally take the boob and pass out.  We stopped the bath at bedtime for a few days and moved it to morning, as it was agitating her instead of relaxing.

She's much better this week, so we've re-integrated the bath at bedtime again, and it seems to relax her.  We seem mostly back on track, but something is 'broken' in our evenings - she's still crying 8pm - 9pm, then she'll drink @ 9, exhausted, and fall asleep.   

Here's a snapshot of our last few days:

3/22 (skipped bath today)
8:45 wake up, drink, diaper change, morning routine (wash face, change clothes, play under mobile while mom gets dressed, hang out in kitchen while I make breakfast)
10 nap
11: wake up, drink, diaper change, car ride to pick up dad
12:40 nap
1:20 wake up, drink, diaper change, play on mat with toys
2:35 nap
3:35 wake up, drink, diaper, chat on mom's lap and exercise legs
4:55 tried to nap, woke up, finally back to sleep 5:55
6:20 wake up, drink, diaper / PJ, sit and read books / relax
7:50 bed time (was really hard to get to sleep)
8:05 wake up.. fuss until 10.
10 fell asleep drinking (drank 1:30, 4:30, 9:30am awake)

3/23
9:30 wake up, drink, diaper, bath (1st time bath in morning)
10:45 nap
11:20 wake up, diaper, play on mat
12:40 nap
1:40 wake up, drink, diaper, play on mat
3:10 nap
4:15 wake up, drink, diaper, read books and relax
5:45 nap, but woke up, fell back asleep 6:30
7 wake up, drink, diaper, pyjama, fuss from 8pm - 9pm
9pm short sleep (10 minutes), then drink again and fall asleep on boob
Didn't record nighttime feedings, but roughly same as previous night.

3/24
7:30 wake up, diaper change, drink, hang out in bed
8:30 nap (fell asleep drowsy, yay!)
9:30 wake up, drink, bath & morning routine
10:40 nap
11:20 wake up, drink, diaper, mat
12:30 tried to nap, woke up, back to sleep @ 12:55
1:45 wake up, drink, diaper, baby gym
3:05 tried to nap, woke up, back to sleep @ 4
4:45 wake up, drink, diaper, hang out on mom's lap
6:25 nap
7:15 wake up, drink, diaper change & PJ, relax
8-9pm fuss
9pm drink and fall asleep on boob - could not move her to her bed (she woke up and cried every time) Drank 3 times through the night.

3/25 ->I've been trying to get her to nap longer, and stretch her cycle a bit.  Am trying to increase time between feeds, and also have increased our wind down time before napping.  It seems to have helped with the daytime routine.
8:10 wake up, drink, diaper, morning routine
9:30 nap
11:30 wake up, diaper, drink, play on mat
1:30 nap
2:30 wake up, drink, diaper, gym
3:40 nap
4:50 wake up, diaper, drink, play on mat
6:20 nap
7:05 wake up, drink, bath, PJ
8pm - 9pm cry
9 drink and fall asleep, woke up 2:30 & 4:30 am to drink

Any advice on how I can tweak our routine?

Thanks!
Julie

[creations]

Hi there and welcome to BW

You aim to increase the time between naps and easting sounds like the right direction to go. I notice some of her A and E times are quite short, and the naps are a bit inconsistent sometimes 40 mins sometimes an hour.
If she was full term and of average weight we'd expect her to be able to go easily 3hrs between feeds, she might even feed better with a longer time between which could then help her naps too.  If you have specific questions about breast feeding or moving to 3 hr E rather than on-demand feeding to feel welcome to post on the BF board.
You do not need to feed the moment she wakes up, it's perfectly fine (and common) for there to be a bit of A between S and E if the 3hrly E has not yet been reached when her nap ends.  So it's fine for your routine to look like EASAEAS so long as there is just a little A between E and S to avoid a feed to sleep habit.

A times at this age are around 1hr 20 - 1hr 30
Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!
I would try to make each A time at least 1hr 15 the next few days and then increase a little again after decent naps.

It looks like she only fusses at BT, is that right?  I wonder if she'd like her BT a whole cycle earlier?  Morning WU times are variable so I can see why BT is coming later but as you extend the A times and if the naps go longer I would be prepared to get her into bed earlier, it might be possible for her to sleep right through all that fussing from 8 - 9pm if she's in bed by 7.00/7.30pm.

hope this helps

[juliem]

Thank you for the feedback!

You're right - I was feeding her before she was actually hungry, and I think she was fussing at night because she wasn't actually tired yet (the last stretch of A time in the day seems to be her longest).

So now we're on more of a EASAEAS routine, and she's eating roughly every 3 hours, and eating more at those feeds.  She seems to have settled in to one long nap in the morning (1.5 - 2 hours), 2 shorter (35 min - 1hr) naps in the afternoon, and a catnap in the evening.  BT seems consistent between 8-9, and awake times are 1.5.

The only thing is that now we don't seem to really be on a predictable EAS routine, specially in the afternoon with the shorter naps.  I'll keep watching this for a while to see if this is her actual cycle, and whether I need to make more changes..

Thanks!
Julie

[creations]

Sounds like things are working out well.
If you record your EASY each day for a little while you might see a pattern in those afternoon naps. She might need a slightly longer A time if her morning nap is 2hrs.