How to get rid of nursing to sleep with an older child

[georgeo]

Dd is 26 months old and for a variety of reasons when she wakes at night I nurse her back to sleep. I'm ashamed to say it but I do.

Her dairy intollerance is under control now and the other reasons are pretty much sorted so it feels like the time to do it. I've been doing it for the past year so it's all she knows. I don't do it to get her to sleep at night. I also break the latch ASAP so she's not doing it until into a deep sleep. I'm also really really done with doing it at night.

So my question is, should I just try and get her back to sleep anyway I can, other than nursing, tonight or should I just be lying near her and repeating a sleep phrase? She's in a big girl bed. What do you think will be easiest on her?

Ugh I can't believe we're in this situation.

[Shdef]

Don't be ashamed! Tracy said if it ain't broke, don't fix it!

If nursing to sleep has worked so far, that is fine (well done for nursing so long!), but if you feel that LO can sleep more independently maybe it is time to introduce a lovey? You could carry lovey in your bra for the smell, interact in the day with it (blanket, stuffed animal, whatever...) and then have LO cuddle with lovey to sleep.  DS did that from 9 months onwards and still does at 8 years 

[georgeo]

Thanks steffi,

It is broke.... And needs to be fixed. She bites really hard when I'm breaking the latch and I really want dh to be able to get up with her one night a week so I can hopefully have a night of unbroken sleep. She has a cat that she loves but she refuses to cuddle with it. She will pack it around most of the day but not for night. Maybe if I carry it around for a few days. I had hoped to stop as of tonight but maybe that's too rash.

[Erin M]

Have you talked to her about it during the day?  We didn't nurse that long, but I know other ladies have had success by telling their LOs that "mommy's boobies don't make milk at night anymore" or something like that and then sticking with it.  You could give her options during the day -- if you wake, you can have a cuddle and some water, but no milk.  And expect some mighty large tantrums for the first few nights.  Most people say their LOs get over it pretty quickly after a few rough nights.

[*Ali*]

Yes I would tell her she is a big girl now and so the boobies need to sleep at night so she won't be able to have any milk at night from now on.  My DS2 was 15mo but he understood this I think.  He tried to argue of course but he knew in advance that there would be no more milk at night.  I gave him a sippy cup of water instead for when he is thirsty at night.

How does she settle at bt? I would use that method at night so you aren't just replacing one prop with another.  If you would use wiwo I'd go with that.  If you normally rub her back for a bit and leave I'd try that etc.

My older sister (not a bw) replaced bfing to sleep with cuddling her DS to sleep in his bed at 23mo and he still wakes and needs cuddling one or twice a night at 5yo!

[anna*]

Hun I'm going to move you over to Toddler Sleep as your little one isn't a baby any more!

[georgeo]

You're right Anna, she is definitely NOT a baby anymore.

Well we did it. It wasn't pretty but no milk last night. Interestingly about 10 days ago she didn't ask for it at all during the day for three days! I was about to rejoice at the return of chocolate and cheese to my life (she is lactose intollerant). Then my sister came to visit for five days and dd loved it but wouldn't let me out of her sight. She also started asking for milk all of the time! Poor thing. Having someone in her space must have unsettled her.

[*Ali*]

Well done. Keep it up