Need help with 12mo routine please

[lolsyb1982]

Hi ladies

Am looking for some help with DD's routine. She has recently turned 1. Has been in the 2-1 for what seems like forever and still not quite there yet.

A bit of background. We've recently had about 3 weeks of chaos. First illness and then 2 weeks of what I suspected was developmental and now positive it was causing numerous NW, hysterics at nap time and bed time and didn't want to be alone and just wanted to be held.

The past 2days she's back to her normal happy self and has just started standing by herself and walking holding onto 1 of my hands so has had a lot going on. She's settling fine by herself now too which is great.

Her wu is all over the place, no consistency there. Her 1st A time is 4.5 hrs and will nap for around 2 hrs (although a couple of days this has dropped to 1.5 so A increase needed maybe?)
After that though I have no idea anymore what she needs!!!

Should she have a CN and how long for?
How long would BT be after that?
Should I just go for EBT and try dropping the CN?

Agghhh confused!

[HenaV]

Hi,

Could you post say the last 3-4days in EAS format just so we can get a flavour of your LOs day which may hep with suggestions of what you may be able to try

Thanks

Hena

[lolsyb1982]

Hi Hena

Here are the past 3 days. I know exactly where I am with her the first part of the day but I feel like I've tried so many things to find that elusive perfect amount of 2nd A time and BT to get a good nights sleep I've totally lost track of where I am!

Saturday (her 1st bday party and slept at nan and grandad's that night)
Wu 5.45
Nap 10.15-12.15
Nap 5-5.15
BT 7 (I would probably have put down about 6.30)

Sunday
6.20
Nap 11-12.30
Nap 3.45-4.30 (seemed tired before nap so thought I'd let her sleep longer)
BT 7.45 (no tired signs anymore and seemed happy. Tried putting down at 7.15 but cried as soon as I put her in cot so tried again 15 mins later)

Monday
Wu 5.45 (ugh) we've struggled with ew for ages now and was hoping clock change would help but hasn't
Today at cm so slept
8.30-9.15 on school run (was really tired couple hours after wu so obviously needs more night sleep)
Nap around 12.30-1.35
BT 6.30 (pd at 6.10 after 1st eye rub)
Have heard her a couple of times since bed but hasn't properly woken.

Thanks for your help
Lauren

[HenaV]

Hey Lauren,

"All over the shop' springs to mind which is probably perpetuating the problem. i find when I am trying to implement a change I need to get some consistency in place.

So you average WU from what you have posted is 6am. So If you are going to do one nap then I would try something like this:

WU: 6am
Nap: 10.30-1.30pm
BT: 6pm

Or if you think your LO needs two naps:

WU: 6am
Nap: 10.30-1.30pm
CN: 5pm (for 20m max)
BT: 7pm

What do you think?

Hena

[lolsyb1982]

Yes it has become a bit like that! 

I can't see her ever napping for 3hrs (how nice would that be!) so we may have to stick with 2 for now. She's at a cm 3 days a week and her nap there always has to be at lunchtime as they go to baby group in the morning and the other children are older toddlers so they're all on 1 nap.

I will go with your suggested routine the days I'm at home with her though and see how we get on.

Thanks

[lolsyb1982]

Hi Hena

Couple more questions. I was half asleep when I read your reply last night 

What if she only naps for 2 hours, how would you plan the rest of the afternoon/bedtime for both 1 and 2 naps?
Also I've found her nights only seem to be 11hrs on a 1 nap day (but she can't handle a 13hr day) or 10/10.5 on 2 naps. Do you think this would change if her daytime is more consistent?

Another slightly off track question... I read the sticky on set
 naps/bedtime... How old are they usually before you can really go to set times and forget about A times?

Update today so far
Looks like we need an A increase. 4.5hr A has taken us from a 2+ hr nap to 1.5 to 1.10 today with no interest in going back to sleep.
Wu from nap was 12.10 so how would you play the rest of the day?

[HenaV]

Sorry I missed your post! What did you do?

Oddly enough I was going to suggest that you perhaps try pushing the nap to 11am to get you a better time to BT of that makes sense. So something like:

WU: 6am
Nap: 11am-1pm
BT: 6pm

How do you think she will fare with that?

With set nap, as I understand it you can set nap and BT from 12months. We didn't really until after the 18SR until then we were still working in A times. That's not to say you can't give it a ago. One of the reasons we didn't is because R gets OT rather easily and when you set nap and BT there is always an element of OT. After the 18SR she was OT it didn't really matter so we just went for it!

hena

[lolsyb1982]

Did 30 mins 4-4.30. She was not impressed when I woke her and tried desperately to go back to sleep. Did I do the right thing not letting her sleep longer?

I then didn't know how long she would last after so thought I would pd after 2hrs and started rubbing her eyes after 2hrs but I think she was OT as took 30mins of WIWO to get her to sleep.

So day was

Wu 6.30
Nap 11-11.20
Nap 4-4.30
BT 7
How does that look?

I will try 5hr A Friday when she's back at home with me again and see how we go with that. Her 1st A is always the easiest to increase so reckon after a few days she'll adjust.

She also is pretty sensitive to OT so I think set times might be best left for a while yet.

[HenaV]

Hey!

I would perhaps have done this and effectively treated the AM nap as your CN and swiched your 2 nap day around iykwim:

WU: 6.30
Nap: 11-11.20
Nap: 1.20/30 (for 2h)
BT: 7pm

That would still have given you a 3.5h A time to BT but with a longer morning on a short nap to compensate?

Its a really difficult time when you're transitioning to one nap and not always easy to know how to play it. I'm sure given time that it you'll be fine.

H

[lolsyb1982]

Sorry I don't know what I wrote there. 1st nap was 11-12.10

[HenaV]

Oh ok, then, yes I would have done what you had done and if I thought she was ready maybe have opted for a 6pm BT x

[lolsyb1982]

Ok so on the right track then 
Let's see what night we get

Thanks x

[lolsyb1982]

We had 2 very short NW of 5/10 mins each and she was awake at 5.30 (10.5hr ns). Almost managed to AP her back to sleep but just as I thought she was going off she then opened her eyes and that was the end of that.
I know with her a 10hr night used to be OT, is the same for 10.5?

[HenaV]

Not for us. 10h or under is OT for us and 10.5h usually
Indicates that we need a routine tweak.

How was your day today?

H

[lolsyb1982]

It wasn't good, I was working so she was at the childminders and generally all of those days are pretty poor sleep wise.
She fell asleep in the car on the way there at 8.30 for 30 mins. I thought that might actually work as would then go down for her main nap at 12.30/1 so thought it should be enough I stop OT but she only slept for 45 mins so today (she's there again) I'm going to try to keep her awake on way there and see if she takes a longer nap at lunch???

She then fell asleep on the way home (which I really hoped she wouldn't so I could put straight to bed) for 20 mins. I think I then put her down to early and was a huge struggle to get her to bed and took a good 90 mins, partly as we refused to pick her up and hold her which is what she wanted.

Again 2 very brief NW and I only had to put a hand on her and straight back to sleep and.... You guessed it 10.5hr night!

I don't think it helps that DH is getting up for work around that time too which may partly disturb her as she's only in a light sleep.

As of Friday she's at home with me or grandparents(who will follow my routine) for 2 weeks, so really hoping I can get some consistent routine in place with her in that time!!