8.5 month twins, night waking and early morning waking,

[4isstillnighttime]

Babies are so funny - C woke up, I handed her her dummy and she fell asleep cuddling it like a teddy! Her sleepytot has arrived today, perhaps that will be the thing for her.

Sarah - I leave them if they are fussing as in general I make things worse, but They both ramp up to full on screaming v quickly at night.  They both have quite a bit of separation anxiety in the daytime, and I don't think all these teeth are helping.

Laura - I was talking to DH about that this morning! I think that in our case we were so overwhelmed by twins that we were the most extreme accidental parents ever - esp as I was on my own with them from v early and also wasn't all that well after they were born. But even now they are quite clingy - they often need a kiss and a cuddle even when they are playing, and they go beserk when I leave the room unless they see me go - I mean if I sneak out they raise hell when they realise I'm not there. I never have left them so I don't know why they are so worried, but maybe it's because they know they've got a rival for my affection. They get quite cross even if DH kisses me!

[4isstillnighttime]

Last night C was awake at 10:30 and 12:30 but settled easily, fed and meds at 2:15 then screamed for an hour. She's surrounded by dummies and I had my hand on her back but no patting or rubbing. She was then up again at 4 for 10 mins of screaming, then up for the day at 5:20. Z woke at 12:30, fed at 3 then up for the day at 5.

Did I do right letting c cry for so long in the night? I've just decided no more back rubs or patting. And how long before I stop having a hand on her back and what do u do next?

At bedtime they just lie there and chat, then sometimes I have to hand C her dummy but often I'm not even in the room.

Where do I go from here? Should I just go cold turkey on night feeds? And when is this likely to get better, I need a timescale!!!! Weeks or months or years??

[babybarr]

Hugs. I wish I had some answers for you. Have you tried feeding the sleeping one when the other wakes or is that not possible with bf?  We don't do it cos the sleeping one always vomits.

[nippo]

You did brilliantly!! You did really well, and looking at the night as a whole it wasn't too bad (even though it doesn't feel that way). One hour isn't bad really, mine took 3 when I started but I realised once I had started shush patting I couldn't stop until they had gone to sleep otherwise they would learn to cry for as long as it takes.

It's really hard to say how long it will take as each baby is an individual and learns at different speeds and have different needs etc.

I remember really pumping my friends for an answer to when it would change. And they couldn't tell me. But I don't think you are far away. I went cold turkey with feeds until 4am but you could cut a feed at a time if that is too hard or you are unsure. Mine were feeding much better in the day when we cut night feeds and it really helped their moods too.

I remember our BT was always lethargic, she would just lie on the floor and not really move. Once she stayed sleeping she was a totally different baby, she was playing in the bath and laughing etc...

You will get there you might be month away - for ours to sleep completely through it took around 2 months. But we were happy with 2 wake ups as that was an improvement on 10 wake ups before 10pm!!

[nippo]

Forgot to add, once they start to settle quickly with hand on back then start removing the hand before they fall right into sleep so they do the last bit themselves. You can still say soothing words so they know you are there if that helps

[Buttonbobs]

Just a thought. Can you play lots of peep-o with them? It's supposed to help with them getting used to you disappearing and reminding them you will always come back. You can start with the simple hiding behind your hands and slowly move to leavingn the room and coming back in over and over. I think it really helps with SA.

[4isstillnighttime]

All good ideas, I will!

[Uglybethy]

It sounds like you're timing bed time perfectly as they're lying there for a little bit and then letting you know when they're ready to sleep and need a little help then off they go to sleep. Well done you
Re night wakings. Pretty hellish between 2 and 5am... And then to start the day... Uggghhhh! But I agree that you did brilliantly. Similarly to what I just said on Laura's thread, technically they will deep sleep until midnight, then light sleep until 4/5am then they should be able to deep sleep from 4/5am until you wake them up for the day. I'm wondering with you about going cold turkey on the 2am feeding with maybe a small feed at 4-5 am when they wake to push the start of the day later for you??
Not sure what you or others think about that and I'm in two minds because part of me thinks that you're getting there slowly anyway, but the other part of me wants to help you get there quicker iykwim (I'm sensing the urgency in your need for sleep and predictability at night)?
Sending good nap vibes for the day!

[4isstillnighttime]

Thank you all. We had a bit of a funny day today as we had to go and visit family. So 2 car naps but reasonably long and reasonable times. C is knackered though, so I have put them down early tonight and will just deal with the fallout. Can't wait for a little rest from them! And she's crying a lot going to sleep so I think it's the right thing. She prob only had about 8 hours last night, so it's hard for her to catch up.

Am going to try to make that feed later and later UB, think that's a good idea. So will try 2:30 tonight. Then if we manage that 2:45 tomorrow, etcetera, and see if we can get them back into deep sleep. It sounds lovely!

C has just screamed herself to sleep. I think sometimes that she just passes out from exhaustion rather than really learning how to go to sleep on her own. I think tomorrow I am going to put them down for their morning nap early just so they really know they are going to sleep on their own in their cots, as I feel like that's part of the problem. And no back rubbing, just firm hand and sleepy words. Deep breaths all round as I am on my own now til Wednesday lunchtime.....

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

You can do it.

[4isstillnighttime]

Wine, chocolate, coffee!! And BW forum of course!!   

[nippo]

Would a firm hand chest help too, you're kind of holding them in place then and sometimes it's calming for them....?

Mind you, you've started on a strong path so maybe just keep going.

Xx

[Uglybethy]

On your own until Wednesday.... You are Wonder Woman! It's official!

[4isstillnighttime]

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!
Was in bed by 8, reading and chillaxing. Dropped off about 9 I think

Z woke at 12:30 - hand on back, settled quickly
C woke at 2:30 - feed and meds, settled quickly. Just as I was settling her Z woke up so fed her and straight back down.
C then woke at 4:30 - hand on back, settled quickly.

Both awake at 5. Chatting and happy so I left them to it and they just played in their cots til 5:30!!!

So I've had about 7 hours sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feel amazing!! Babies (esp C) look better than they have for ages!!! How do I make this happen again?!?! I didn't really do anything differently. Was going to try a slightly earlier nap today at 8:30 so they don't go to sleep so quickly and get the hang of the ST a bit better. Any ideas??

Off to do a little dance around the kitchen and make pancakes for breakfast!!

[nippo]

Yippee!!! They were learning what to do the whole time - they just didn't tell you! BUT you will have good and bad nights it takes a bit of time for them to consistently go down in my opinion.

Well done you, HUGE pat on the back for doing it all on your own. Amazing lady!