Help with 3.5yo sleep

[*foxy*]

I think I know what to do but I could do with you guys confirming it! Our DD wakes every night at the same sort of time 12.30-1 am. And comes into bed with me. Falls straight to sleep. It's been happening since new year following one cold after another. It's now a habit. She's independent at BT - doesn't need any props from me. Im 35 wks pg so I need to sort this before baby comes. It starts tonight as we're back from being away over Easter. I guess I need to take her back into her room when she wakes in the night and do as we do at BT? We will start using her gro clock again so I will say to her not to come in to us until the sun comes up.
Does that sound ok? I know she'll protest - she's good at that but I'll just keep taking her back into her room and reassure her from outside her room?

[Khalam's Mama]

Will you Talk to her about how you need your sleep and you all sleep better your own beds etc so she knows why etc. She is old enough that that might be enough to start the ball rolling so to speak.  Maybe Talk to her about what she wants in bed instead of you etc so she is still comfortable. Good luck. Am having similar issues with my just 3 year-old but as it is more like five or six and not ever night I am enjoying it for now. Would be a different story if I had a nanny due soon for sure.
good luck. Hopefully lots more btdt advice will come soon.

[Buntybear]

You are totally right - it is a habit that needs to be broken. It shouldn't be too hard  Take her straight back in and stay with her if you need to to get her back to sleep then do less and less. Would you consider going into her room BEFORE she wakes and settling her when she does start to stir? Might take even less time to break the habit that way.

[*foxy*]

Thanks guys. Would I wait for her to stir? It could mean me waiting outside her room for half an hour or so. But I guess that's easier than having to take her back to her room as she's now used to climbing in next to me - I barely wake up which is why I've let it go on for so long!
Yes I'll talk her through why she needs to stay in her bed. Won't mention baby, just, as you say, that she'll get a better rest in her own bed and then have more energy to play and have fun etc.

[Buntybear]

Would I wait for her to stir?

Well - yes    Just a thought - not sure I could do it! Could you sleep in her room so you are there when she stirs? Then go back to your bed when she is asleep again?

[*foxy*]

Um, not really Im afraid. There wouldn't be a bed for me as she's in a single room. And Im 35 wks pg so sleeping on the floor isn't really an option.
Im just going to have to take her back to her bed when she comes in. I might be awake and hear her stirring and get there before she's out of bed, Im not sleeping all that well anyway

[Buntybear]

Good Luck - sure it won't take too long for her to get used to it xx

[*foxy*]

Thanks. I'll just have to make sure she's ready for it and explain why. Hopefully she'll get the message quickly!

[*foxy*]

We had a chat before BT about her staying in her bed but if she did wake up and come into our room that I would take her back to bed. This caused lots of tears but I reassured her that I'd stay with her until she fell asleep.
She unusually woke at 3.30am last night. I went in, had some cuddles and she fell asleep pretty quickly. She then woke us at 6.45am when the sun on her gro clock came up.

So tonight I'll go in again and try to do less with her. She's great at BT so Im sure we'll get her resettling at night well too

[Buntybear]

Great start 

[*foxy*]

So it's going ok. Very brief wakings still but I go in, quick kiss, go out again and she goes back to sleep on her own. But now she's waking at 6am! With a 7.30 BT! That's not enough sleep surely? She's LSN but 10.5 hours isn't enough is it?

[Buntybear]

Olly doesn't have much more TBH. We went through a patch, must have been around 3.75 - 4 yo - when he would get that or less regularly. Do a catch up night once a week maybe.

Now he has settled down to a BT of 7.30 (although that seems to be getting later) and a WU of 6.15-6.45.

[*foxy*]

Ok looks like shorter nights are what we've got to expect. she was asleep at 7.15 last night and woke at 6.30 this morning - that was a long night for her and she slept through!!

Tonight was 7.30, Im hoping for a 6.15 - 6.30 wake up. But the main thing is we are getting more nights where she's not waking and calling for me

[Buntybear]

I have found with Olly that the better the quality of sleep the less he needed. Makes sense really!!

[Khalam's Mama]

Well done. B always sleeps less overall if he sttn, I guess it is more restorative that way. Another reason I am letting it go on for now.