Please help, I think I could cry :-(

[katelinglis]

I posted a couple of weeks ago looking for some advice as was consistently struggling with 45min afternoon naps. Well not only has that not improved but now our 2 hr morning naps has shortened to 45mins and I have a very tired and grumpty baby (and an exhausted mum).

My LO is 5 months old on Friday and has been on EASY since about 6 weeks old. She's a healthy weight and no illness etc. Our rough routine looks like this:

E: 7am
A: 7.20 - 8.45ish (1.5 hours although I'm trying to build on this little by little to see if it helps nap length)
S: 8.45 - 9.30 (always 45mins exactly when she wakes up)

E: 10.45am
A: 11 - 12ish (if I can extend this out till 1pm I do but with her waking early at 9.30 it's not  often possible)
S: 12 - 12.45 (bang on 45mins)

by this point the "schedule" is pretty much gone and I just try to stick to a E-A-S pattern for the afternoon and she will usually take at least one more 45min nap at some point.
Then we try get back on schedule early evening...

E: 6.15pm ish
A: 6.30-7.30
S: 7.30

Dream feed about 10.30pm, then sleeps till 7am.

We have an established wind down routine and she always goes to sleep pretty easily using a variation on 4 S's.
I've tried extending her naps with shh/pat or pu/pd and I don't think I've ever been successful (although have used in the past to help when going to bed and worked well). In fact they seem to just wind her up more, so recently I've been either getting her up and just doing some quiet activity until next feed, or leaving her in her cot to "rest" if she's quiet and happy enough playing with her hands or cuddly toys.
Have also tried giving her a wee top up feed before the wind down routine to see if it was hunger preventing her from transitioning to a second sleep cycle but that made no difference.

We were coping with one longer nap followed by shorter 45mins but now that we've lost that long nap things are getting pretty dire and by the evening she is just beside herself with tiredness (as am I).
Following my previous post I'd started trying to extend her wake times but that just seems to have made things worse and now we've lost the long morning nap.
HELP!
I don't know whether to just forget about trying for longer naps or to just relax and go with the flow letting her nap shorter but more frequently. I think I'm just getting more stressed and exhausted by all the pu/pd'ing than I am by the shorter nap.

Any advice more appreciated,
Thank you.

[Florena49]

Oh hugs, i think the short nAps visited every household, just to test us mums a little bit more!
I know u said that you are slowly extending A time, i think u should continue, the fact that you LO wakes and will lie in the cot quietly sounds to me like she just isnt tired enough to sleep for longer.  When i try a d extend a short nap and lo isnt tired enough he screams and screams and screams whilst wen tired he might cry a little but it is muc easier to resettle. Clearly if she slept well before she can transition between sleep cycles so thays not a problem its a matter of finding that perfect A time.
And whilst you are doing that, go with the flow you can only do so much with these naps, if you can go out and she will sleep in the pram for one of the sleeps then by all means do it!

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

I agree with Viktoria.  Her a times are a tad short for her age. Take a look at this

7-9 months, part 35

Just be sure to increase the a time slowly, about 10-15 minutes every three days or so. Let us know how you get on.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Sarah did you mean to post this link?

Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

I agree with pushing out the A times as if naps were longer before then the issue is more likely UT than an inability to transition between sleep cycles.

[katelinglis]

Ok, will keep going with the A time. I managed to extend morning A time by 10 mins to about 2 hrs today and she went down about 9am but woke after 35mins. Is now just playing in her cot. Will try keep it at 9am for a couple of days then add more if needed. Quick question though, if A becomes greater than 2 hrs how long should she nap for? would I let her sleep beyond her 11am feed time or stick to the 4hr feeds? (not that shes sleeping that long at the moment, but if miraculously she did what would I do?)

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

That's the link I meant to post! Thanks.

Once you get to longer a times you may need to add a small top up feed before the nap so she's  not going to bed hungry. As long as you're not feeding to sleep it should be okay.