4 Month Old, Multiple Night Wakings, Getting Worse!

[jbdomen13]

Hi All

I'm not sure where to begin…my son is exactly 4 months old today (Christmas Baby!). After much research and deliberation, and many sleepless nights, about three weeks ago we started him on the 4 hour EASY plan and began training him with PU/PD. It started working almost immediately, in that his naps extended out from over 30 minutes to 1hr30 min, 2 hrs, 45 min (on a good day). However, his night sleep continued to get worse. Where he was only waking up between 12 and 1, and then again around 4, for feeds, he is now waking up at 9:45/10pm, 12, 1, 3, 4, 5, etc…he is EBF and I pump during the day while at work. (Although I don't pump enough for him, so we have been talking about supplementing with formula, today we used the last of the freezer stash.)

We ditched the pacifier during this and he has not had it since. He also just started rolling over from back to front, so we have been trying to ditch the swaddle, with limited success--it works for some naps/night sleeps to just be in a sleep sack, but not for others. He does seem to prefer sleeping on his tummy, before this it was on his side.

He goes to bed between 6:30 and 7pm every night, and about 50% of the time we can leave the room and he puts himself down. He does not yet regularly suck on his hands, only if they happen to be near his mouth. He has a lovey and he sometimes sucks on that. We have had some success with him putting himself down for naps, but more often we have to use SH/Pat and he falls asleep within ten minutes or so. He wakes up for the day pretty regularly around 6:30/6:45.

I would LOVE to cut out some of the night wakings, but I am not sure how to do this, and which one to tackle first. He never woke up around 10pm until a week or so ago, so now I think it has become a habit. I don't really think he is hungry, as he eats for about 8-9 minutes, on one side only, and goes right back into his pack n play. I do pretty good feeding and getting him back down for the other wakings, although by 4am I am exhausted and he comes into bed with us. He then snacks every hour for about 5 minutes before putting himself back to sleep. We want to break this habit.

He is still in our room, as we have been slowly renovating our very old house and his nursery is not ready yet. (We estimate about 3 more weeks.) Has he hit the 4 month sleep regression and we should just ride it out? I don't want him to use me as a pacifier, but I think he is. Plus, I feel like he is now getting more of his calories at night then during the day.

Advice? Thoughts?

Thank you!

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

Hi there. It sounds like you've got a lot of things happening all at once!  It sounds to me like he's swapped the pacifier for you at night :-/ and using your breast to go back to sleep. The other thing it could be is reverse cycling - I don't know a whole lot about it, but it sometimes happens when moms go back to work, baby is bottle or cup fed during the day and then wants to nurse all night to make up for it. How long have you been back to work?  If it's fairly recent, that might be your problem. If not, then I would say he's using your breast to fall asleep. Do you try to settle him without feeding?  How?  My dd2 at 4 months was having 2-3 feeds each night. I finally decided that I wouldn't feed her before 11 (bt is 7) and not less than 3.5 hours after that. I did pat/shh to help her back to sleep instead. Does that sound like something that might work?

[jbdomen13]

Hi Sarah

Thanks for your response. I have been back at work for a little over a month…so not too recent, but this has been a gradual thing as his sleep has been getting worse over time. So they definitely could be related. I am only in the office 3 days a week, and work from home the other two days, so perhaps the inconsistency is also an issue?

He has also become very distracted while nursing during the day now too. It needs to be absolutely quiet in order for him to get a full feed in. So I think he has been swapping his day calories for night calories. Should I try and increase the calories he is eating during the day, and then cut him off at night? Sh/pat does work, but perhaps I am not being consistent enough…like the other night, he woke up screaming at 8:30 (went down at 6:30) and took a full feeding…then ate again at midnight…and then I sh/patted him down at 2:30 only to have him wake up 45 minutes later. We end up with him in our bed between 3 and 4 every morning, which I know we can't sustain as it does not result in good sleep for anyone. (Well, maybe for him.)

We went for his 4 month appointment yesterday and is hitting all his milestones and is ahead on a lot of them. The Pedi advised starting rice cereal since he thinks it might help him sleep. I remain unconvinced but am willing to try anything at this point.

He also had his first night of being completely unswaddled last night, and his first full nap was unsaddled today too. Then for his second nap I had to swaddle one arm back in as he was very agitated.

Should I just pick some night feeding cut off times? But what if he really is hungry--like the other night when he ate a full feed at 8:30? I hate the idea of him being hungry, and would Sh/Pat even work if that was the case?

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

If you are going to wean the swaddle, you'll have to expect a few rough days and nights. Medi went straight from being swaddled to tummy sleeping, she was about four months old too. This is such a tough age with feeding. Some others have advised feeding straight after waking from a nap, in a quiet dark bedroom for minimum distractions . As far as settling at night - I would always try to settle if it's less than four hours since the last feed, but sometimes it just doesn't happen and I'd end up feeding anyway. I always used pat/shh as pupd didn't work for us. Could you post your daily routine in EAS format, in case something jumps out.

[jbdomen13]

His schedule today was:

Wake up 6:56 (where he used to sleep until 6:20/6:30, he is now sleeping until almost 7)
E 7:30 (he was not ready to eat upon wake up, as he had eaten so much in the early morning…)
A until 8:56 (just about two hours on the dot)
S 8:56-10:20 (no swaddle)
E 11:00
A 10:20-12:22
S 12:22-1:56 (one arm swaddled; wouldn't go down with no swaddle for some reason)
E 2:45
A 1:56-4:12
S 4:12-4:50 (one arm swaddled, again)
A 4:50-6:45
E 5:45 (ate for over a half hour on this last feeding. I feel like this was the best feed of the day. He did fall asleep at the end, but when he came off, he stayed awake for about 20 minutes finishing his wind down routine)
S 6:45 (he put himself down, unswaddled--this is the second night with no swaddle)

I hope I did that right! I feel like the amount he eats in the early morning hours, puts him way off for the first half of the day…

[jbdomen13]

I should add that he started rice cereal today. We gave him a tablespoon at about 8am. He was mildly interested in it. But didn't finish the full tablespoon.

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

Your day looks pretty good, your routine looks great. What about the days you work - where is he and what's his routine like there?

[jbdomen13]

When I am at work, my husband has him or my Mother-in-law (so three days out of 7). My husband does pretty good with sticking to our schedule, although he gets more frustrated than I do when he won't easily go down for a nap, or when he wakes early, so he doesn't do as many extensions. But, this is getting better as the naps continue to get better. My mother-in-law tries, but he still only does 30 min to 45 minute cat naps for her…I think now that he is unswaddled for naps, this might change too.

Should I be trying to get more calories into him during the day so that he isn't waking as much at night to feed? or is he waking for comfort too? Although I can barely pump enough for him now as it is, I am will to supplement here and there with formula if it means that he has better night sleep.

This morning he woke up at 6am and did not go back to sleep, and looked exhausted by 7:30am. Went down very easily for my husband before 8am.

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

You definitely want to get as much milk into him as you can during the day. I can see he is only having four feeds during the day. While it's great he goes four hours between feeds during the day, it might be better to fit an extra feed in there somewhere if you can. I would probably feed after every nap ( when naps are good like on the day you posted) so then you can fit an extra one in at 4:50 and then just before bed.  Then maybe commit to not feeding again before say 10:30 and 2:30, and use pat/shh to settle the other wakings. Four months is the age where sleep patterns change and Los don't just wake for milk anymore, they come into light sleep every hour or so - and some ask for help to get back to sleep at every one!
I have to say Medi was having two nf (going no more than four hours between feeds) until she was very nearly six months.