Is DD supposed to cry so much?

[tinky]

I'm a FTM with ann 11 week old DD.  Dan and I decided to try EASY because DD nursed to sleep every night and for every nap, woke multiple times at night, and took over an hour to put down for naps or bedtime.

I started EASY with her this morning, and at 4:30pm, she's napped just under 2 hours total. The rest of the sleeping time she is crying. I feel like I am using a CIO method, but instead of leaving her I her crib, she is in my arms wondering why mommy isn't doing anything. Poor thing only quiets or sleeps after she has tired herself out.

She is OT, but I don't want to nurse her to sleep and lose the day's work. I'm also miserable and cried with her this last sleep period.  Any help? Anyone else go through this and come out the other side?

Here's our schedule for the day:

E 6am
A 6:10
S 6:35 with shh/pat, fell asleep at 7:15
A 7:51, started shh/pat at 8, cried and didn't fall back asleep

E 8:27
A 8:43
S 9:08 w shh/pat, cried, fell asleep at 10:40'
A 11, more shh/pat

E 11:16
A 11:44
S noon with shh/pat, sleep at 12:20
A 12:50, more shh/pat and crying

E 1:45
A 2:12
S 2:35 with shh/pat, crying, sleep at 3:05
A 3:28, more crying, more shh/pat

She's eating again now (started at 4:13) and I  dreading the next S.

Please, I'm looking for help or encouragement!

[creations]

Hello and welcome to BW

Sorry to hear you had such a difficult day and ended up in tears with your LO
I want to reassure you that you are not doing anything like CIO. I know it is heart breaking when your LO is crying that way, awful, it is very very different from leaving her to cry alone. She is very frustrated that you are changing the rules and letting you know all about it. Crying is her only form of communication to tell you how she is feeling. I would reassure her, tell her you know it is frustrating and you are there for her, and continue shushing.  It's ok to emotionally step back a little whilst you hold her, if you find ear plugs or head phones with music helpful don't feel guilty about it, so long as you are there you are doing every thing you can and she knows she is not abandoned.  At this age keep a hold of her until she is fully calm, even asleep - sounds like that is what you are doing anyway - and if you can/do put her down continue shush/pat for another 20 mins through to deep sleep.

I'm sure tomorrow will be a little improved having got through today.
Keep the A times relatively low, especially following very short naps.  Some of those naps she's only slept 20 mins or so and not resettled, I would give no more than an hour following that (so begin WD at 40 mins to allow 20 mins to fall asleep).

You might find this thread motivational, some success stories
For anyone ready to give up - please read and post your success stories here!

holding your hand.  This will get better.

[tinky]

Thank you for the words of encouragement!  I was cheating and BFing DD when I saw your post.  After reading it, I immediately popped her off, but she was already asleep.  I moved her to her crib, shh/patted for 20 minutes after she re-settled (there was a little bit of crying), and she's been sleeping since (about 40 minutes).

I guess I just didn't expect it to be so hard.  In reading Tracy's sleep interview and reading her book, it sounded like shh/pat would work.  Babies aren't supposed to be able to hold three thoughts at 11 weeks old.  Apparently, my DD has no trouble with that since she continues screaming through my shushing and patting.  And to only have her calm down after she's cried herself silly is, as you said, heartbreaking.

But as you said, tomorrow will be a better day.  DH will be home tomorrow and can help take one or two of the sleep shifts.  I am desperate to get more sleep.  And we are kind of on a deadline as we have a 12-hour road trip to see my family coming up in a couple of weeks.  I hope, at the very least, she learns to settle herself enough to sleep in the car.  She refuses to sleep there now, until she has screamed herself to sleep, but that is another issue...

[Buttonbobs]

Hi there, I can't help but notice that for an 11 week old the A times are really low, even after a full night's sleep. Some of the crying might be because she's just not quite ready for sleep.

Have you see this:
Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

At 11 weeks the average A time is about 1 hr 20 mins. I think if I'm ready your EASY right then that first A time is currently 35 mins, probably leading to a UT short nap and then it's hard to get the rest of the day right. Could you try lengthening that first A time in the day, just by 10/15 mins and seeing if this makes a difference after 3-5 days. If not, you lengthen the A time again, until you get a nap of 1.5 hours or longer.

This together with the suggestions Creations made above should help xx

[tinky]

Thanks for the advice, Naomi. She did not have a great night's sleep last night and I was going by her cues, which is why the first A is so short. Hopefully she sleeps tonight and I can put your advice to work!

[creations]

I think if I'm ready your EASY right then that first A time is currently 35 mins,

Oh I read that as a continuation of the night and the first day time A being from 7.51 - 9.08.  I do agree if the first A needs to be decent length to start the day off.

Tracy did say EASY wasn't easy.  I know it can feel like shush/pat is supposed to be a no-cry solution but there are many examples of babies crying a lot through prop dropping and sleep training in the BW books, though reading it in a book is not the same as experiencing your own baby crying in your arms.  I would say to continue now that you've managed a day because things will get easier from here. With other issues you might want to look around the forums or post a question before beginning so you can ready yourself, know what to expect and see if there are tips to help you all through.

[Buttonbobs]

Sorry I'm on my phone so can't quite from above - creations I see what you mean about the first A time. Tinky, if his is the case and you had had a rough night then that does make more sense. That makes more sene

((Hugs)) for today