Started EASY schedule with 11 month old Day 2 is not so happy!

[greenbean144]

We started the EASY schedule yesterday with my son and the first day honestly wasnt bad.  Today is a nightmare though.  For his first nap he slept for 20 minutes and refused to go back to sleep screaming and crying the rest of the nap period.  My husband is working on the second nap right now and he hasnt slept at all.  Is the second day supposed to be this rough?  Here was our day yesterday:

Wake:640
E:  7
A: 730-10
S: tried to start nap at 10.  He actually slept from 11:23 until 11:57
E:  12:00
A:  1230- 3
S:  cried one time when I put him down and immediately fell asleep after I put him down the second time (was like magic!) Slept from 3:13-3:45. PU/PD and slept from 4:19-4:55
E: 5:00
A:  5:30-7:30 play time and bath
S:  started at 7:30 breast fed, sang lullabies, rocked in chair and put down in crib drowsy at 750.  Not a single cry!! He sat up and crawled around in the crib and I softly told him it was bed time and I did PU/PD until he finally went to sleep at 900.  Again, not a single tear..it was very unexpected.
He slept from:
9-950
9:54-1017
10:47-1208
1:43-300
3:30-420
450-6:30

at 630 my husband said he was super mad and refused to lay back down so he rocked him in his chair and then left the room at 7 to begin our day.  So for day one it wasnt that bad.  Today has been insane!!

Wake: 630
Eat: 700
A 730-9
S 1008-1028 (PU/PD the rest of nap time with a very mad baby.)
E  1200
A 1230-3
S PU/PD until he finally zonked out at 415 and is currently asleep.

Im scared for tonights events, he really didnt sleep that great last night and my husband and I are doing our best to support each other and help our son sleep on his own.  Does our EASY schedule seem ok?  Is it normal for him to be this mad on day two? 

[nevinsmama]

I suspect his rage is actually not being quite tired enough for his naps. Most 11 month olds can do closer to 4 hours A time, some can do more. I would also be putting him in the crib awake, not drowsy. For PUPD to really work you pretty much have to swear off all AP and stick to it for all sleep. But don't worry, it will get easier, especially if he is more ready for a nap and sleep. Hang in there!

Would you like to describe exactly how you are doing your PUPD? It could be that he is needing more time to settle in the crib, especially as you don't really pick up in PUPD for this age, unless they are truly hysterical.
Hope this helps and keep us posted.

[nevinsmama]

Just wanted to drop off these age adaptations in case you want to take a look.

How to PU/PD (inc age adaptations)

[greenbean144]

Thanks Nevinsmama!  Our routine so far has been go into his room, make it dim.  Change diaper and get into PJs.  Sing soft lullabies and rock in the chair for 5 minutes (no more than that, we have found he is nodding off in the chair if we stay there more than 5 minutes).  When we sit up from the chair he will start wiggling and kicking his feet in protest already because he knows what is coming next.  I will tell him "goodnight, I love you, sweet dreams, its sleepy time" and lay him into the bed.  Immediately he will flip onto his stomach and start to crawl around and pull himself up.  I will pick him up and lay him down and repeat, repeat, repeat.  The first day or so he was only sitting back up and I could softly lay him on his side.  Somehow he has caught onto that and will try to stand as soon as possible. 

My husband is having better luck with putting him down to sleep.  He will only protest for 5-30 minutes and with me he will protest for hours.  We are still breastfeeding and I am sure that is a huge reason why he protests with me..he can smell his food source and loves his snuggles on mommys chest. 

We started the EASY process on Thursday and my husband took off of work the entire weekend so we could tag team help out.  Today was the first day at home where it was just me and the two kids.  It is not going well.  The first nap of the day he protested and screamed and jumped in the bed and I did PU/PD for as long as my three year old would let me, which was about 20 minutes. 

Out of desperation and frustration at the situation I decided we would take a car ride to grab some lunch that way at least my son would get a nap in without me holding him and my daughter could enjoy some scenery besides the house.

We are getting ready for nap number two and thankfully my daughter will go down first and then I can focus on the nap time with my son. 

At night he is still waking every hour or sooner.  I feel like our progress is going extremely slow.  When he finally starts to settle in (with sobs and heart sluffs) we have to keep our hand on his side until he is almost asleep or he will jerk wide awake, scream, and pull himself up and start the entire process all over again.  Its so defeating to almost have him asleep after being screamed at for an hour only to have your arm make popping nose and startle the baby and start the mad cycle all over again.

I can try extending his A time longer, but at the three hour mark he already looks so tired and will yawn, rub his eyes, and tug on his ears (doesn't have ear infections, just a sign that he is sleepy). 

[nevinsmama]

OK. It will get better! I would use white noise ( fan, white noise machine etc..) to help block out out external stimuli. That can really help them settle too.

Did you have a look at the age adaptations for this process? Tracy does mention laying them down if they are pulling up, but I would not lift him up into your arms first, if you are. With  my DD ( do you know your LO's type?The BW "Know Your Baby Quiz") picking her up made her LIVID and I would try to stick to sitting quietly by the crib and patting the mattress, repeating your sleepy phrase and generally trying to keep things very calm, bland and sleepytime!

I would extend A times, even if you have to go outside or something to distract him

I feel your pain on the screaming for hours. It is emotionally exhausting and can really stress you out. I am glad to see your DH is supportive and helpful. Be sure to step outside the room if it is all getting on top of you! I kept a chart to look for progress and would put one earbud of my Ipod in my ear to help me stay calm and supportive for my screaming DD when we did this. We are here to hold your hand, you will get there!

Any sign of teeth? The waking every hour "could" be just part of the process, but waking THAT much sounds a tad uncomfortable to me.

OH! Does he have a lovey? A lovey really helped DD at this age. Hugs!

[greenbean144]

We have a sound machine playing a rain sound.  He does not have a lovey and doesn't really have any attachment to anything.  He has never taken a pacifier either. 

He may be cutting teeth, though it seems like he has been for months now.  Maybe tonight we will try some tylenol to see if that helps any. 

I have read the modified PU/PD page and will try to work on those things a little better.  I have been pretty consistent but my husband has been going about things a little differently.  When DS gets upset and stands, he will try to lay him down a few times, but then goes to rocking him in the glider until DS is asleep or almost asleep.  He can then go to the crib and sleep for an hour or so, but once he wakes it starts over again.  We need to work on this, but I have some questions.

When he wakes and sits crying, do we do anything at all or just wait?

When he stands and is crying, do we do anything at all or just wait?

When we put him back into the crib, do we lay him down or sit him down?

We have been sleeping on a twin bed in his room, should that stop?

I know that's a lot of questions, but as of yet we have never seen him go from sitting or standing to laying down on his own.

Also during the night, around midnight I have been nursing him, that's less night feedings than before since he was co-sleeping and eating on demand.  Is one night feeding a problem?  Should I try to cut out night feeding altogether?     

[nevinsmama]

When DS gets upset and stands, he will try to lay him down a few times, but then goes to rocking him in the glider until DS is asleep or almost asleep. 

This will definitely hold the process up. I would make sure you are both on board and then move forward together. Your LO isn't going to understand why things are different with you vs. your DH. Consistency really is key here.

When he wakes and sits crying, do we do anything at all or just wait?

When he stands and is crying, do we do anything at all or just wait?

If he is doing his "I NEED YOU NOW!" cry then go to him, repeat your sleepy phrase, sit by his bed if you like, pat the mattress, reassure him, if rubbing his back or patting him helps then that is fine but I found with both of mine that a hands off approach worked better at this age.

If he is doing a mantra type cry, or fussing, or not elevating then I would hold back, listen and wait.
 

When we put him back into the crib, do we lay him down or sit him down?

I would lay him down.

We have been sleeping on a twin bed in his room, should that stop?

I did this with DD, I would stay until you can comfortably go in lay him down, walk out and he goes to sleep without you there. One step at a time, right?

Also during the night, around midnight I have been nursing him, that's less night feedings than before since he was co-sleeping and eating on demand.  Is one night feeding a problem?  Should I try to cut out night feeding altogether?   

Not a problem. Keep it as long as you want, just be sure that you don't PUPD or resettle and THEN feed him as this would not promote his independent settling. Just decide before you go in, or over to his bed, whether you will feed or settle.
Hang in there!

[greenbean144]

Ok I'll pass this along, we will try to be more hands off as much as possible.

One more question about the schedule, on a 4 hour A time I am not sure how to get in two naps.  Do they get shortened?  Starting at 7am would it be like this?  That makes a short A time somewhere, unless I'm doing something wrong.

E 7
A 7:30-11
S 11
E 1
A 1:30-4
S 4
E 6
A 6:30-8
S 8

[nevinsmama]

I would expect that 2nd nap to be somewhat shorter at this age. It may be 1-1.5 hours and most LOs need this one shortened to 45 minutes ( or less later on in the 2-1 transition). That should keep the day from getting too long. And of course, after a shorter nap would come a somewhat shorter A time, maybe 2.5-3 hours after a 1 hour nap. Hope this helps, with consistency you will get there!

[greenbean144]

Hi there!  We are still chugging along.  I am feeling a bit down today because both naps were complete failures.  My son completely refused his first nap of the day and I couldn't stay in his room to work through the entire allotted sleep time because my three year is also home and awake during that time of the day.  He was tired and ready for sleep (or one would think) and was drowsy after rocking him for five minutes in the rocking chair, but as soon as I put him into his bed the battle began.  I only tried for 20 minutes to get him back to sleep, because my daughter was in the other room watching a cartoon.  The entire time I am with my son I am so worried about something happening to my daughter.  It still takes me 30 minutes to an hour to get my son to sleep.  Do you think it would be crazy to try to switch him from two naps a day to one?  This week is my daughters last two days of school and she will be home every day of the week and I just dont know how I am going to be able to continue to try to get my son to sleep while she is home.  Since she still naps it would be easy to put her down for nap and then focus on getting my son to nap.  So that is something I have debated about today in my head.

Things are going better for my husband.  My son doesn't fight him nearly as much as he does me.  On Friday night he was able to put my son down at 730 and he slept for four hours!! That's a first!! And then put him down again within ten minutes and he slept another four hours!! AMAZING!  We are working in shifts (one person does 730-2am and the other does 2am-wake up)  that way we can get a little sleep.  The nights seem to go smoother and my son gets more sleep when my husband puts him to bed.  Even though things go smoother with my husband, my son is still waking up every 1 and a half to 2 hours throughout the night. 

I am exhausted and I wish I could help my son get to sleep.  He is so attached to me that he screams and cries and yells my name every time I put him into the bed and lay him down.  I repeat the sleep phrase, gently lay him down, keep my hand on his back or pat him if needed, but it never fails he will calm for a second and then kick over and scream and crawl to me.  It breaks my heart.  Here is an example of what the past couple of days have looked like:

Wake:  730
Both Naps failed
Sleep:  814- 948
958-1128
1235-108 (breastfeed only right side and he nodded off)
121-145 (breastfeed left side)
155-223
234-430
434-552 (stayed up at 552)

Wake 650
First nap:  1026-1106
1122-1212
Second Nap:  415-447
Bed:  8:27-950
958-1023
1030-1123
1217-256
315-645 wake up


So as you can see he is all over the place!  We are trying really hard to be consistent with the four hour easy routine, but it makes things so so so so hard when my husband is at work and I dont have hours to dedicate to sleep training by myself, and when he skips naps it just throws everything off after that.  He will be one in a week and a half and all I want for his birthday is sleep for everyone!  My daughter told me today "mommy, I heard brother crying while I was trying to nap.  I think you need to go to him next time."  Poor guy is waking her up during the middle of the night too, they share a wall and she has a white noise machine