3.5yr old disturbed sleep

[rach321]

Wondered if you ladies had any advice , my ds2 is repeatedly waking during the night asking for a drink, a cuddle, blankets sorting etc, if I ignore him he quickly escalates to loud crying which wakes everyone, if I go in and sort him out he goes back to sleep for a few hours until the next request! Any ideas? He's in a BBB and has been for over 2 years, he doesn't nap and hasn't for a very long time, poor kid is exhausted and so am I!

[HenaV]

Hi!

Have you asked him (in the day) why he's waking in the night - just wondering if he's having bad dreams or something bothering him?

Not btdt but just a thought

Hena

[ZacsMumme]

Yeah....Z did a bit of this for a few weeks at 3.5 yrs. it's developmental and a right PITA.

We didn't have nw as such but ew where he was wired. I just made him stay in bed till WU even if it meant I was in there with him. At BT we had shenanigans but I reminded him all day after a few nights had passed what was expected. We covered off toilet, water (bottle by his bed) etc before I left the room and I did a slightly earlier BT and spent longer in the room to compensate for the likely call back.

You have to try to be as consistent as you can without making him feel your not there for him as it is a real thing (Z was angsty) see if you can find a middle road. How long are you staying with him each time?

As hena says do you know what is bothering him? When Z wakes now it's usually lost lovey, scared of bad dream or need to wee. I always ask and try to figure out what's going on.

[rach321]

I've tried asking him why he wakes and all I get is because I did?! He's literally only awake for a few minutes then he's back off to sleep but the constant disruptions mean he is miserable as sin from about 4pm onwards! I've not really got any ideas - I really just hope it's developmental and passes soon because it's driving me nuts!

[ZacsMumme]

If its habitual times to could try w2s an hour before the first nw and see if it helps.

We had a funny night too with Z waking which is different for us
Does pulling BT forward help with the OT at all?

[rach321]

Well we tried ebt tonight and he's still up there wailing because I won't get him yet another drink or sort his covers out yet again- I'm totally at the end of my rope with this! It's never the same time but once he's woken up once for something I can pretty much guarantee that he will then wake every 1.5-2hrs after that.

[ZacsMumme]

After you go on once - after BT - do you keep going on and out? I'd be tempted to be very firm but calm with him and set out your expectations. I did this all day long too, and reminded Z during bath, books, extra wee etc.

Something like this worked for me.
'Its BT now Z. Remember you need to go to sleep now so you can feel rested for a fun day tomorrow. You have your water if you need it (offer it now too) and your night light. You know I will always come if you need me, but if you call me and you don't need me I will note happy as I need to get myself ready for bed too.'

If he gets out of bed, march him right back to bed, 'it's BT, you need to get back into bed and go to sleep. goodnight'

I'd lay out your expectations for nights too. Clear his room at BT of anything he may find 'scary.' Talk about how you will feel very proud of him when he sleeps all night long tonight. That you will come if he needs you - bad dream etc - but he needs to get his rest and sleep till morning. Let him know you need your sleep too.

It is boundary testing, but some of it is probably fear/anxieties etc. so firm but gentle works well here.

No napping am I right? - when was he up. I'd stick to a 12 hr day/night but BT no earlier than 6am

[rach321]

Well once he eventually stopped getting in and out of bed at bedtime he didn't do too badly, woke at midnight and I went in an reminded him that his drink was on the side for him - he can turn his nightlight on and off by himself so he had a drink and went back to sleep. I heard him wake and get a drink again during he night but he didn't call out for me!

[ZacsMumme]

Yay that's great. I feel your pain - it's really tough at this age when the don't just go to sleep

[rach321]

Well we are back to square one again - repeated getting out of bed at bedtime with his latest requests! I am firm and march him back, he has his drink his nightlight his cuddly toys but still feels the need to spend about an hour every night messing around before he finally gives in and goes to sleep. By then he's overtired so then we get the nw! I'm really lost here!

[ZacsMumme]

What about sitting at his doorway and the minute you hear him get oth of bed pop your head in and say 'back into bed DS ' in a firm voice. when Z started this on day two I did just that and nipped it in the bud. It may not work but worth a shot.

[rach321]

Trouble is if ds1 knows I'm up there ( no issues with him going to bed) then he will keep getting out to talk to me and he is a notorious ew so I need him to go to sleep shortly after he gets into bed!

[ZacsMumme]

What about not talking accept saying back to bed. If you have to you export him back into his bed.
I'll ask for more eyes as I'm out of ideas sorry hun

[rach321]

No worries - we will keep plodding on! Eventually he will be done with this and no doubt throw something new at us!

[Buttonbobs]

Have you thought about discussing it with him and agreeing that if he stays in bed overnight he gets a reward of some kind - a sticker reward chart or similar if that sort of thing might work for him?