Want to start EASY but have questions

[laurab0228]

My daughter is almost 10 weeks old and I want to try an EASY routine. I bought the book to get started but have questions.

The example in the book show you starting with a child older than 4 months.  I should of course stick with a 3 hour EASY, so I should start at 7:00 am correct? She's been sometimes waking at 5:00 or so to eat so I should feed her, put her back to bed and then start at 7:00 correct? Even if she won't go back down I should ssh-pat her until then right? The book says to p.u./p.d. (obviously at 10 weeks I shouldn't do that, I will need to ssh-pat) until 7:00 of she wakes earlier, but I should feed her if she's hungry, correct?

How often and at what time do you typically experience your little one at this age waking up to feed in the middle of the night on the EASY routine, even with a dream feed?

After I had established the EASY routine I have other questions:
How do you  handle outings? Do you try to go during his/her A time or S time? My little one sleeps in the stroller and the car so I'm not sure which to do.
occasionally we will have a scheduled event (doctor's visit for example) that lands in the middle of either our E or S time. How do you handle that and get back on track? What about vacations?

Some background on the routine I tried to establish:
6:00-7:00 wake and feed
Awake hour to hour and a half and then nap. (She never has been able to nap without me holding her and I now know that I need to correct that right away). She usually has like one yawn (no eye rubbing or any  other sign of sleepiness) then drift off to sleep in my arms ( I can't ever seem to put her down without crying). She will sleep for about 45 minutes then wake up.  I then try to feed her even if she doesn't show signs of hunger because I was trying to follow a eat, play, sleep routine. This continues during the day and then I try to bath her around 6:00-7:00 then feed her right after a bath. Then I try to cluster feed her again around 8:30-9:00. She is usually pretty sleepy by then and does go right to bed without much complaint in her bassinet. 
Wakes at 1:00-2:00 and I feed her and she usually goes right back to bed until 5:00 which I feed her again then I try to put her back down until at least 7:00 but it doesn't usually work.

 Terrible routine I know. But just wanted to provide some background. 
She's a good eater usually taking about 30 minutes to eat.

please provide some insight for me. I will probably have more questions as I go along but I wanted to get started ASAP. 

THANKS!

[Jbla17]

Hi 

I noticed you had no replies so ill try to answer a few of your questions and hopefully some of the other ladies will take a look as well cos this reply will bump you up on the board.

First of all.... You are doing a great job! As everyone here will tell you EASY is a routine and not a schedule and you want it to work for you and your LO.

Stick with a 3 hour EASY for now I think it is age appropriate. You would be looking at going to a four hour routine after four months old. In saying that I have only in the last couple of weeks started a proper 4 hour routine with my almost 6 month old. You may need to do a 3.5 hour routine before a 4 or even a combo of both has worked for me.

You don't have to start your day at 7am but it is most common. Again what times work for you. Definitely if your LO is hungry then feed at 5am if this is when she wakes. You can then style to sleep and go for a wake up between 7-8.

Different babies will want to feed at different times during the night. By the looks your wants to feed at 1-2 and around 5 and that amount is normal. I always found there was a 5am waking feed or no feed. Now my DD will settle herself back to sleep and I wake her at 7. You might find your LO will drop feeds on her own as mine did. They do it when they are ready though as long as you are not the prop to fall asleep.

With regards to going out a.k.a ....having a life!! I completely understand how you feel about this. When my DD was a lot littler I could take her out at the start of her wake time and wherever we were at her sleep time she would sleep. Around 4 months this stopped happening or would only do one sleep cycle. I would either accept that was it for that nap and just offer her next one a bit earlier. As they get older wake tines increase to the point where you can go out just in A time and be home in time for a nap. That's what I'm trying to do these days. My LO has a wake time now .
between 2.5-3hrs.

Don't worry too much about feeding as soon as she wakes unless she is hungry!! I would just feed at the 3 hr mark so your day would look more like EASAEAS and that's ok. The main thing is to separate feeding from sleeping

As for you questions on shhh/pat an PUPD, I am hoping another poster could give you some suggestions as I don't have a lot of experience with either as DD has generally self settled from early on.

Hope that this helps you.... You are doing great 

[Jbla17]

Settle to sleep not style to sleep!! What the?! 

[laurab0228]

Thank you so much! I spent all day today implementing the EASY routine and I must say I already see improvements and change. Nap time was my biggest problem obviously as it took a lot of ssh-patting to get her to settle on her own. However, now that she's got longer naps she seems WAY happier and more content during her activity time.  She must not have been getting enough sleep during the day.

I haven't quite got the hang of dream feeding so she might still wake up 2 times tonight but we shall see!

[creations]

Hello and welcome to BW

I see you already had great advice from Jbla17   I think most of your questions were answered.
This link may help clarify shush/pat
Shush-pat - How to
We don't call it PU/PD because that method involves timing how long you hold baby before putting down, but with shush/pat you do still pick up if baby is crying and continue shush/pat until totally calm (or asleep) then continue in the crib.

For your morning start, it's ok to begin earlier than the routines shown the books. If you want to begin your day at 6am that's fine, and if your LO is waking at 5am for a feed and not settling back down to sleep you might find getting her up at 6am is preferable to shush/patting all the way to 7am which would be very hard work if she is crying. It's really your choice, Tracy did help LOs to establish a routine by staying with them in the bedroom until WU time, but many of us here know that this can be a challenging way to start the day so often we accept an earlier wake up and reserve some of our energy for the rest of the day.
My LO was always up at 5am and beyond the first few weeks I was unable to get him back to sleep.

You could also use the W2S method to try to extend the naps, scroll down to naps option 1 for shush/patting through the transition
How do I address habitual wakings? (wake-to-sleep and other methods)

You might also find these links useful
Starting EASY - all you need to know and more!
Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!
Teaching Sleep to Newborns and Young Infants

It's also very normal to have 1 or 2 NFs plus the DF at this age. Gradually your LO will be able to do one longer stretch of sleep. STTN is considered a 5hr stretch, your LO might already be doing this - it never felt like sleeping through the night to me

[laurab0228]

Thanks! I do have a few more questions.  Can I use a soother with her ssh-pat? Sometimes she manages to get out of her swaddle during the ssh-pat. Should I swaddle her again?

[creations]

Yes, Tracy suggested using a paci for comfort, I think it's also one of the things recommended that may avoid SIDS.  Tracy's method was to let LO suck during the rapid sucking on the paci and to remove once the sucking slows, removing it avoids it becoming a prop - although it can be weaned much later if your LO likes it and it does become a prop.
You can re-swaddle her, maybe have a look into various swaddling methods (I used the DUDU - down up down up, you can look up Dr Harvey Karp for video clips on this swaddle, nice and snug and she shouldn't get out. Or look into something like the woombie, not used one myself but they seem to get good reviews). I actually stopped swaddling at 10 wks, just used it for calming rather than during sleep. it's up to you and how she sleeps best.

[laurab0228]

Thanks for the help.  I'm into day 2 and I am trying to get her settled into her first nap. I have been sitting here a while! Is it possible to ssh-pat too long? I am afraid I might have done that.

[creations]

If LO is calm and drowsy you can put her down to sleep. If she fusses you can continue to shush/pat in the crib, if she remains calm when you put her down you can leave her   She may stare for a while before dropping off to sleep. If she cries you return to continue shush/pat.
It's hard to say what is 'too long' because at this age she likely needs help and comfort to calm and begin to fall to sleep, although some at this age can and do fall to sleep independently, it depends on their personality and how they are used to sleeping up to now.  you don't have to shush/pat all the way into deep sleep if she doesn't need it, on the other hand it's fine to do so if she does need it - and every nap may be different at this point.

[laurab0228]

Thank you soooo much! I feel the more I go through this the more questions pop up in my head. I'm just so worried I'm doing something wrong at every turn.  I feel bad bothering you with all these questions.

THANKS A BUNCH!

[laurab0228]

Oh god! I have been ssh-patting for hours! a few more questions, again, sorry for all the bother. 

So I put her down for her 10:00 nap and managed to get her to sleep for about 45 minutes after about 20 minutes of ssh-patting, but I could just not get her to sleep again.  By this time it was time for her feed. So I picked her up crying and fed her. Was I supposed to make sure she was asleep before I picked her up and fed her? Does she need to be in deep sleep for a while before I need to feed her? I have only been successful 3 times since yesterday morning to get her into a deep sleep.  I actually could tell because I had to wake her. Every other time she's woken up and noticed I wasn't there so she cried and I fed her because I needed to stay on the routine. Should I make sure she's in a deep sleep or should I get her up crying? Her worst nap yesterday was the same one the 10:00 one.

Also with the soother, there are times I have given it to her with her ssh-pat and there are times she uses it, spits it out and then will settle in fine for a sleep. Then there are other times I give it to her and she will use it, spit it out for a while, and then be rooting for it all through her nap. There was even one time during the night that I got her back to sleep with just giving her the soother.  So I'm confused,  do I use it or not?

I am going insane!

[laurab0228]

I'm going crazy. On day two of implementing the EASY routine.  I don't know if I can preserve!

[Buttonbobs]

Hey honey, I've merged your two topics as they are essentially the same subject. But here to add more support. You've had great advice so far.

What does your routine look like? What times are you trying for sleep each day? A 45 minute nap can just be a developmental thing but it can be because an LO is not quite tired enough to sleep for a long time. Looking at the timings of things can help us to see which it might be. Also, how long are you trying to do shh pat?

Adding hugs, this can be a tough time. What about trying to extend one nap per day, and using APOP methods (allowing baby to sleep in a sling/in a pushchair/pram) to get you some rest for a few naps and then once that one nap gets better applying the techniques to other naps. What do you think?

[creations]

Stopping by with a hug.
Try not to panic, it is very early days and your baby is still very young.  If you just recently read the book you might have all sorts of fears of AP or doing something wrong. Be kind to yourself and try not to panic. So long as you are supporting your baby through her difficulties you are not doing anything 'wrong'. Any kind of prop or AP habit can be sorted out and it doesn't need to be today. The number 1 thing I took from BW is respect for my baby, never leaving him to cry alone, and focusing on building and maintaining the trust bond.  Even if she doesn't sleep you are holding her and comforting her and she knows that.

How did she sleep before you started EASY and shush/pat?  As Naomi has said, if there is a way you can APOP a nap to get yourself a break then do it.  I know Tracy suggested all naps in her own crib but having a baby who *can* nap in a pram is actually very handy for getting out and about.

And don't worry about bothering us with questions, we all arrived here needing help and support just as you have.
You'll get through this.

[Jbla17]

Sending you a hug too 

As creations said dont panic she is so little and obviously needs you!! Please don't think you are doing something wrong.... You are mum and you should trust your instincts before worry too much about whether your LO is on schedule. 

It will all come together for you... I know how you are feeling. That there must be something that you are doing wrong but its simply untrue.

I have a fair few, what I think are silly questions on here but have been met with support and empathy. Everyone here knows how tough the first few months are. It's awful but it gets soooooooo much better!!

Also try to do something for yourself. Do you have any help at home? Grandma or Daddy that can take care of LO for a couple of hours just so you can breathe and relax. Catch up with a friend for a coffee or just go out for a walk or to the shops. Whatever you would like to do 

Let us know how you are doing x