Want to start EASY but have questions

[laurab0228]

Thanks a bunch.  I just feel overwhelmed.  Yesterday wasn't so bad but today seems worse and I was expecting it to get better

my routine:
7:00 wake up
7:00-7:20 E
7:20-8:00 A
8:00-8:15 wind down
8:15-10:00 S

10:00-10:20 E
10:20-11:00 A
11:15-11:15 wind down
11:15-1:00 S

1:00-1:20 E
1:20-2:00 A
2:00-2:15 wind down
2:15-4:00 S

4:00-4:20 E
4:20-5:00 A
5:00-5:15 wind down
5:15-6:00 cat nap

6:00-6:20 E
6:20-7:15 A
7:15 bath
7:30-8:00 E
8:00 Bed time
10:00-10:30 ish dream feed

3:00-4:00 night feed

She usually sleeps in the car or stroller but I've had mild success with that. She usually wakes up about 15 minutes when we come home and then she wakes.  I've tried the swing but she only sleeps about 30-45 minutes and then wakes up. 

My biggest problem is the naps. She usually goes down at night pretty good but she used to only nap if I was holding her and usually only for 30-45 minutes. I am really trying to break the nap habit of her only sleeping with me. I can get her to nap for about 30-45 minutes (45 minutes if I'm lucky) and then she wakes.  Maybe it's habitual waking?

She also HATES being swaddled when I try the wind down.  She cries pretty loudly.  I have a sleeping bag where she can have her arms free and I haven't tried it yet. It may be that my wind down is the problem.  She protests so loudly to being swaddled that I need to calm her big time with ssh-pat right after I swaddle her.  There is no sitting quietly and relaxing unless I ssh-pat. Then I lay her down after she's calm. Sometimes she snoozes for 30-45 minutes and sometimes she wakes right away and I'm ssh-patting for an hour.

I do notice that she is WAY happier between naps even if she hasn't had a good one. Probably because she gets more sleep even if she wakes. (I have been committed to keeping her down for almost her whole nap time, unless she's really screaming, even if I have to ssh-pat the whole nap). This last nap I ssh-patted for 7-10 minutes and she was able to settle and sleep for about 40 minutes. Again I think it might be that she's habitually waking during her naps.

I really want to get her to nap on her own so I can have some Y time as I haven't had much since she was born.

Thanks a bunch!  I feel better now. I just need some reassuring.

[Jbla17]

Hey, just wanted to add something about swaddling. It can be hard to get right especially when she is protesting. I used the Woombies and Ergo Cocoon. The just zip right up with no fuss. The Ergo have a little more give in them so LO can move her arms to where she feels comfy. Some bubs like to have their hands near their face as that's how they were in your tummy. If it was me I would hold off on the sleeping bag until she has more control over her hands and arms. I think we did the transition about 3.5 months.

Don't give up on naps just yet. You might find your LO is a legitimate catnapper and end up organising your routine around that. My friend had a catnapper and found that once his A times increased to the point of a 2 nap possibility his naps came together and he slept for 1.5 hours or more. Sonetimes their sleep development takes longer than others. It seems as though you have been successful in extending done naps though so as I said dont throw it all out the window.

Hugs mummy x

[laurab0228]

She always seemed so grouchy when she awoke from her cat naps with me or even when I laid her down on her own. How do I adjust her routine if she is a cat napper?

She was a good night sleeper as I said, but it was because one of us would hold her until she fell asleep and then lay her down. And she would sleep up to 6 hours sometimes 8! I have a crib aquarium thing that she likes to watch.  Could I lay her down in her crib and let her watch it until she fell asleep?

As for swaddling she protests the instant you lay her down on the blanket, like before I have even attempted folding it around her.

To give you some background.  When it's her A time I lay her on her play mat to play or in her bouncy chair. Then she gets a little fussy and I pick her up to play with her on my chest or read to her. Then I notice her getting sleepy so I start my wind down. Holding her the whole time.

Also I think she might have a little acid reflux every now and then. She sometimes coughs while feeding but I thought maybe my letdown was too fast. She has vomited after a feeding though that hasn't happened often. And she does get cottage cheese like spit up sometimes.  It doesn't bother her to sleep at night though. It the ssh-pat not good then? You're not supposed to pat babies backs to burp them if they have reflux.  Could the pat be bothering her? What else should I do?

I also lay her in her bassinet and not her crib to sleep yet. Should I try the crib?

[laurab0228]

Thanks for all the support.  I had a bit of a breakdown but now that my husband is home I feel better.  He took her for a while  so I could calm down a bit. I think for tonight I will just try to relax. I will bath her like I always do and them feed her and settle her in to bed like I always did before so I can get a break.  I will try to dream feed tonight again ( I've only tried it once) but other than that I will try to get some sleep. I try it all again tomorrow though.  But I did think of a few things I can try tomorrow. I will sit back and observe for now.

[Buttonbobs]

Hugs honey, you are doing absolutely fine. When babies are so small it can be overwhelming looking after them - it certainly was for me.

Looking at the routine you've posted, I assume that's what you're aiming for rather than when she is axial leg sleeping - so she's sleeping the first 45 mins or so of the nap time and the rest you are leaving her to lie down and shh pat? The thing is, EASY is a routine but it is a flexible one. It's not times to the minute and you can be more relaxed about trying to settle for the whole nap time. Personally I could only manage that once per day without going stir crazy.

So are you getting a 45 min nap for the first nap of the day at 8.15am?

As I mentioned above, 45 mins can be an indicator than LOs are getting ready to want to be awake a little longer between naps. As your DD is 10 weeks old she might be starting to lengthen her A times. This link shows you the average A times for different ages:
Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!
At around 3 months of age, babies start to need a little longer in between sleeps. If you are getting a 45 min nap, why not try putting her down a little bit later - say aiming for 8.25 rather than 8.15 and do that for 3 days and see if it makes a difference. If she wakes at the 45 min point, stay with her and try to shh pat for a short while but if she won't settle within 15-20 mins get her up and play for a short while before feeding again and then go for a slightly shorter A time so that she doesn't get OT.

A WU from a nap at 30 mins can indicate an OT baby going down for the nap. These WUs are usually easier to resettle, particularly if you are able to get to her before she really wakens.

Then for the rest of the day, for yourself a break - go for a walk, have a coffee with friends or drive in the car, try not to worry how much she is cat napping. Then the next day is a new start and we'll be here for you.

If you are keeping a note of her sleeping times, you can post them here in he same format you did your routine above, and we may be able to help a little more.

You're doing brilliantly!! ((Hugs))

[laurab0228]

Yes that is what I would do. She would sleep 45 minutes then I would try to ssh-pat her the rest of the day. For every nap. Yeah I am going to try to extend her a time a bit and lay her down a bit later. There are also some other techniques I'm going totry. The only reason I was trying to be fairly strict with the routine was because the book said I was going to have to be fairly strict for the first couple of days.

The evening went better than the day. I bathed her around 7:15 and then fed her until about 8:00. I her until 8:30 and then laid her down asleep.  She woke at 8:50 or so, so I fed her a snack to calm her and my husband took her while I went to bed out of exhaustion.  He laid her down at 10:30 to which she woke at 11:00 so I fed her again to which she ate about 30 minutes and then went right to sleep after eating.  So I laid her down right away and she slept until 2:40 and now I'm feeding her again.  We'll see how she goes down again.

[Jbla17]

Try to get some rest tonight sweetie  Tomorrow is a new day....

Lavender oil on your temples and a drop or two on your pillow will help you to relax a little more  I don't want to sound like a big hippie but it works for me if I'm feeling a bit on edge.

Some young bubs don't settle for a longer stretch of sleep until later in the night. A friend of mine used to tell me how she was camped out on the couch feeding on and off from 6/7 until 11pm every night for a while.

Your LO is 10 weeks is that right? I don't know if you are familiar with the Wonder Weeks but if your bub was born on or close to her due date there is a wonder week at this point. I don't want to bombard you with too much info but knowing about wonder weeks has really helped me understand my DDs development. Wonder Weeks tracks 10 major mental leaps in the first 22 ( I think) months of life. Bubs can become fussy, clingy, cranky and cry more, sleep less etc.... After the leap their little world has changed and they start to understand more and be more aware. It helps me understand any out of the ordinary behaviour and when to prepare for it. It may sound like a bunch of nonsense but honestly my DD has acted differently throughout each of these leaps at exactly the time it was meant to.

Don't worry too much about APOP at the moment it's something you can work on when you are getting more rest. Just try to deal with one thing at a time. It is so overwhelming if you just look at every thing you need to "fix".

Sending some sleepy vibes your way x

[laurab0228]

Okay, update on my day so far, I have been writing down every detail (all times are approximate of course)

6:45 wake up, she actually woke up at 6:30, but I managed for her to soothe herself with her soother for 15 minutes.
6:45-6:55 E
A- 6:55-7:40 (put her in her bouncy chair had was happy and playing. She started fussing a bit and then I picked her up and sat with her a bit while I nibbled on my breakfast with her sitting on my knee)
7:40 started wind down
7:50 laid in bassinet drowsy and put my one hand on her chest and other on her thighs.  I listened to ipod just to give me something to focus on
8:10 very slowly took my hands off her. She instantly jerked awake and started crying. 
8:10 picked her up and spent about 5-10 minutes calming her. I then laid down with her and we snoozed
9:30 wake up
9:30-9:45 E
9:45-10:45 A- put her in her chair again happy and content while I showered (I always move her chair into the bathroom with me so I can watch her.)
10:45- start wind down
10:55 laid in bassinet ( I think I started wind down too late.  Might take me a bit to figure it out)
10:55-11:15 laid hands on her again but as I took hands off I placed a magic bag (heating bag I warmed up) on her chest to initiate my warmth and weight of my hands
11:15-11:30 slept okay for a bit but then woke up at 11:30
11:30-12:00 picked up and couldn't get her completely settled and by then she was hungry so I fed her.
12:00-12:15 E
12:15-A- laid her on her play mat and seemed happy for 20 minutes. I ate lunch.
12:35 fussed a bit for 5 minutes
12:40-1:30 went out for walk in stroller where she napped a bit
1:30 got home where she woke up as soon as the stroller stopped. Seemed content so I put her in her swing for a change of pace
2:00 started fussing quite a bit and I gave up and fed her a bit to calm her
2:00-2:15 E
2:15 light A- cuddles on couch
2:25 starting to look sleepy so I laid down with her again because we were both utterly exhausted by this point so I just needed a rest and cuddles.
3:10 woke up
3:10-3:40 SCREAMED. I put her in the baby carrier to give my arms a rest and keep her close.
3:40 finally calmed and slept in carrier.
4:20 started preparing supper with her in the carrier.
5:00 awoke
5:00-5:20 E
5:20-5:40 seemed content
5:40 started to scream again but fell asleep again at 6:00
6:00-6:30 S- fell asleep in my husband's arms.
6:30 woke up crying again
6:30 bath, seemed to calm her a bit.  Fussed a little bit in the tub.
6:50-7:10 E
Was somewhat fussy for about 20 minutes and my husband is holding her right now and she's awake.  I will probably try to cluster feed her again at 8:30-9:00 and then bed.

So we started out on routine but really went off the rails mid afternoon.

I think my problem is I have a perpetually over tired little one. I just don't know how to get her to nap longer in order to avoid it. I also don't know how to really calm her when she's over tired.  I was finally just letting her snooze on and off as you can see because I figured she was so tired I might as well let her try to get a little shut eye, but I don't know if that is the right approach. I can't even seem to get her to sleep longer than 45 minutes even if she's with me. Any suggestions? At this point I just want to see if I can get her to sleep longer than 45 minutes no matter what I do just to observe her temperment. then I can try to correct later maybe.  I might try wake to sleep if I can get her down properly during her wind down which I think is a big part of my problem. I will try again tomorrow and see how it goes.

I have noticed that she is waking at  about 5:00 in the morning every morning for the last week or so even if she only ate about 2 hours previously, when before she would usually sleep until 6:00-7:00. I will try wake to sleep at about 4:00.

I will give an update tomorrow to let you know how the night went, but in the mean time I am going to try to get some sleep tonight. 

In the meantime, please send any suggestions you may have. I have had a trying day and I'm still tired from the last two days. 

thanks so much for all the support! It really does help me feel better.  I just feel so bad for my daughter.  I want to help her so bad but don't know how to do it.

 

[Jbla17]

Hey there 

I was actually going to ask you did you have a sling or some sort of carrier that you could pop her in. Youve tried a whole bunch of things today!

Has she always napped 40 minutes from birth? I meant to ask before...

Like I said earlier sometimes bubs naps wont develop into long ones til they are a bit older. It seems like she is just doing that one sleep cycle for you. Waketimes are really tricky as I have just been figuring my DDs out for the last week or so. She seems to have had a huge jump in A time and is now awake for 3 hours and having two naps! It took me couple of weeks to figure this out though!

5pm - 11pm is known as the ''witching'' hour for bubs, some will be affected more affected more than others hence the unsettled behaviour for your little one at that time. They grow out of it! Your DD might be a sensitive little soul and the stress of the day just catches up with her by that time. Have you done the baby personality test? I'd put the link in but I don't know how yet! Its on the EASY boards on FAQs right at the bottom...It gives you a little insight into the personality of your bub.

Hope you are doing ok today x

[Buttonbobs]

Hugs honey. Just remember A time include the E so is actually all the time from eyes open to eyes closed. That means the first A time you went for was 1 hour and 5 mins. I do think it is worth you trying another ten minutes so go for 1 hour 15 mins A before the first nap.

She does sound a bit OT generally, but this could be caused by too short an A time leaving her with short naps all the time. We call this a UT/OT spiral.

The previous poster (pp) is right, some LOs do sleep only short cycles until they're a bit older. My DD was like this. But I do think it's worth going for a longer A time (often LOs need a big leap in A times at this age) to see if it makes a difference.

[laurab0228]

Thanks so much! She never really was much of a cat napper before but maybe she's changing and prefers them now. I was including her A time with her E time.  I will have to try and catch her sleepy signs earlier so I can start my wind down.

Just a few notes on the night:

8:30-9:00 cluster feed
9:30 bed
2:10-2:30 night E
Put back to bed and she awoke at 3:20. I left her in her bassinet to see if she would calm on her own (she wasn't crying just awake).
4:00 started crying calmed her and brought her into our bed to sleep
5:30 woke up
5:30-5:50 E. She really was hungry
laid back down and S until 7:45
7:45-8:00 E

I know I really shouldn't have slept with her.  I'm a bad mummy! But it did give me the rest I really needed to get to get through the day better.

She used to sleep so well at night on her own so I don't know if it's something I'm doing wrong or she is just changing. I will keep track of today and let you know how it goes.

[Buttonbobs]

Babies at this age change so much all the time. And like pp has said there is a wonder week round about now.

It is also prime time for change between now and 4 months of age, so don't worry about catching sleepy signs earlier and don't rush your wind down. Just take your time and settle her as you feel able.

And one last thing, you're not a bad mummy at all for sleeping with her, enjoy those lovely small baby cuddles while they last! A bit of AP at this age can be undone later with a bit of work so please don't worry. Xxx

[Jbla17]

If sleeping with her will get you both rest then do it for now  You are definitely not a bad mummy for doing that...

One thing at a time 

Hugs to you

[laurab0228]

So Friday was a better day for us.  Managed to get her to nap without me holding her for about 30 minutes. She then woke up and I did some light A with her. I couldn't really get het down for her later afternoon nap so it was mostly A time. I then fed her around lunch time and then some more A time and then went for a walk when she fell asleep and slept for two hours! She had a snooze in the baby carrier while I made supper and then I fed her and then she had a fussy period around 6:00-7:00 but that was always typical of her. She then went to bed at around 8:30 and had two night feeds, so not so bad. I think I may be getting the hang of this better.

Thanks for all your support! I will keep you updated if you would like. 

[Jbla17]

That's fantastic!! Well done mummy!!

Sometimes the wheels fall off for a week or so but it comes back together maybe a little different than before. She will be constantly changing and it seems like a puzzle at times but it so worth it 

If you persevere with a routine for her she will eventually understand what to expect next and things will be calmer.

Well done! I'm glad you are feeling better..... I don't know if its Mother's Day where you are but Happy First Mother's Day to you!