Support for dropping the nap part 11

[Aishi]

Sooo she slept 11-12.30. Should I aim for 6pm BT so its one been a 12h day? (She was doing 5.5h pm a on any nap length before but am a was 6.5 not 5h a iykwim?)

[jessmum46]

I'd do 6.30 but J probably copes better with OT than your LO.  So yes 6pm sounds good.  As far as resettling in the am I would just go in, tell her it was still night time and mummy and daddy were sleeping, tuck her back in and sing our bedtime songs again if she wanted.  Rarely she didn't go back to sleep but usually she did.  I do think this is where being a bit more set about times really helps though, the set BT has certainly helped regulate her body clock so she knows when 'morning' is and is likely to resettle if it's more than 30 mins or so before normal WU.

The other thing I found is on most NNDs J would rarely do less than an 11.5-12h night regardless of when I put her down for bed (just guessing that was the minimum 24h sleep total she could cope with) so sticking to our 6.30 BT whatever the morning WU or day length did actually help us here.  I'd be a bit scared to do 4.30pm BT......All LOs are different though.  Perhaps you'll have to offer a nap every day and make it uncapped when she does sleep, with short days on NNDs? 

Although J isn't a car sleeper she would for a few weeks (in the peak of nap refusals) drop off in the car around 3.30pm.  I'd give her 15-20 mins (any more she was awful to wake) and then push through to BT.  Might be worth a shot? Nap transitions are the only times we've had success with car sleeping.

Hugs again Aishi, it's frustrating but I think if you pick a plan and stick to it, you'll come through ok

[jessmum46]

And just by way of encouragement, we have stopped naps here and last night J did 6.30pm-7am without a peep . There is an end!  ( I hope......)

[Aishi]

Yay for J. Thanks Katherine! I guess I'm going to have to think about the best route forward. It all seems up in the air whether she will nap or not, how long, when to do bt. Its overwhelming even second time round!

[Aishi]

Wrt to set BT Katherine how long did it take for J to regulate? 1-0 was gradual for you wasnt it? Dd was easily napping 2+h a week ago then suddenly she had 2 nnds, a few 45-1h naps and then few nnds again. It feels like she wants to drop the nap ct.

i'm wary about 4.30 BT too so I guess I can only try a short nnd if wu is late enough...so I guess if she doesn't nap I'll try set BT for 6.30 (what u said about having had enough ns by 11.5-12h  makes sense too)

[jessmum46]

1-0 was fairly gradual, took about 7-8 months from first NND to no naps, but started similarly to how you describe - napping fine one day, refused the next and went to 1-2 NNDs per week which gradually increased.

What exactly do you mean by regulating?  Consistent WU time?  It's hard to say really as Js BT has always been 6.30pm give or take 30 mins or so.  So I haven't really gone from A times to using a set time. 

[Aishi]

No I meant to get used to 6.30 BT following nnds WO getting really ot on the long days iyswim

ETA 7-8 months to get through it? Ugh I was hoping it could be done in a month!

[rachsk8]

Still going here, 8 months on as well. Sorry to say! Some kids do transition quickly and easily others not so much. :-(

We had a 12hr night here finally! There was a 10-15min NW at 11.20pm (seems like clockwork lately there's a NW at that time). He has had a string of 11hr nights and he was definAtely getting grouchy and fracious last night... That was an almost 13hr day! Sounds too log to me, I'd like more than 11hrs ONS. What time would you make BT tonight? Remembering I'm trying to move it out gradually later. Although I did a 5.45pm BT last night as he couldn't have handled much longer. So he did 6-6 with one NW.

[rachsk8]

Also, do you think W2S could help this 11.20pm
NW we have got almost every night the past week? Couple of weeks ago we had sttn!

[Aishi]

I would stick to 6pm cos he prob needed a cu night. Re w2s I imagine it word work for the 11.20,wu. Its worth a try ??

I had dd in bed by 6 and she was asleep for 6.25! Quickest BT in ages! Hopefully she's caught up on some of that horrible ot and will sttn...so do u think I should still offer a nap tom and if so what time? How can I get some consistency in planning nap days vs nnds?

[rachsk8]

I think one of the trickiest things about this transition is working out what works for your child - as they are all so different, and this transition is no exception.  Mine is a champion nap-refuser and does not tack on easily at all, so I have to do EBT and cross fingers.  He's only JUST now doing some decent length sleeps, but as you can see, we have lots of 11hr nights and EW too.  Some kids will happily nap when they really need to, and will tack on too.

In my experience, it's been really hard to get any consistency.  I have kept offering a nap all along, and accepting quiet/rest time if it's a NND.  My kid will also nap late and still go to bed at a reasonable time (at the moment) so especially earlier in this process, if he didn't nap but really needed to, I would do a later afternoon emergency car nap - just be sure to cap it!  :-)   We eventually fell into a pattern of 1 nap day/1 NND which was great for a while, then he extended it out to 1 nap day/2 NND's etc.  I pretty much have always given him the opportunity for a nap since we started and he has napped sometimes when it surprised me, and other times not when I really wished he would!!!

Not saying my experience will be yours of course.  It's really a hard phase, has made life quite stressful for me over this period of adjustment.  I am finally seeing some light at the end of the tunnel, but we still get OT days and I just try and have some quiet, low-key days at home if needed, especially in the afternoon, and try get some fresh air and activity outside in the morning.

We will get there, sooner or later.  :-)

[Aishi]

She sttn!! 6.25-7.10 without a peep! Its such a relief that she caught up! I'll pd for nap by 1.30 but I don't expect she will nap. Wwyd?

Rach- i agree figuring out what they need is the hardest part of this transition especially since it seems to change on a daily basis!

[jessmum46]

No I meant to get used to 6.30 BT following nnds WO getting really ot on the long days iyswim

Hmm.....a few months I'd say......but it increased gradually.  So to start with it was too much on one NND.  Then she'd be ok for one NND but get NWs the second day.  Etc etc.  But she would almost always settle easily at BT which I really found helpful.  The odd short NW I can deal with

Agree with rachsk it is hard to get consistency for LO in terms of a regular nap day/NND pattern, same WU time or whatever, but we kind of decided consistency for us was more important than chasing a consistency for LO which may not happen.  So we always offered a nap, at the same time each day, and kept a consistent BT.  So it kind of took the stress away

[Aishi]

Thanks Katherine that makes sense. I'm going to try really hard to relinquish control for this transition! I think pd for nap or quiet time every day and either do 10.5h nnd or 6.00 depending on wu. If im getting consistent ew cos she can't do more than 11.5/12h ons i can set bt at 6.30. Wdyt?

Wish me luck. She woke at 7.10 today so I can test the 10.5h nnd theory today and see how she gets on with a 5.40 bt!

[jessmum46]

Good luck hun x