I.AM.VERY.TIRED. Waking every 1-2 hours for the last month.

[kjr928]

My DS will be 7mo on 4/20. I do not bf him to sleep - I put him down for naps and bedtime awake. The only time he gets bf'd to sleep is during night feedings, but I think he's usually just drowsy when I put him back down because he shifts around to get comfy, but it's hard to tell because it's so dark.

He WAS waking only 1-2 times a night until he was about 6 months and this was also the time teething started, and baby food was being introduced. 1-2 wakings a night turned into 3-4 wakings. I figured it was a "phase" that would go away, but almost a month later and it's only gotten worse. Sometimes I bf him, sometimes I can just soothe him by giving him his paci and/or letting him hold my fingers for a couple of minutes, but most of the time I bf him.

Last night I think he had woken up 4-5 times by like 3am, and then a few more times before 8am. TOO MUCH.

I'm not sure how to deal with this since I've got a 3 year old daughter right across the hall from him - I really don't want him screaming at night and waking her up. Incidentally, since this nonsense has started, my DD has started waking up at night as well. She drinks down all her water in her sippy cup and needs more because she's thirsty. Before this all started she would sleep through the night without a peep. So now I've got 2 kids who are just killing me all night long and it's really starting to affect me during the day.

Oh yeah, and they're both waking up SOAKING wet these days too. You know, to add to all the fun. Please help me here - I'm DYING.
Thank you!!! Kate

PS - I don't *think* his paci is a prop, since he does spit it out and it doesn't wake him up. Sometimes he spits it out as he's falling asleep and it doesn't seem to bother him.

[mycatmonet]

Oh gosh, no help from me I'm afraid, but going through the same sleeplessness with ds, so I understand how tired you are. And any noise waking up his sister, urgh, it is the same here. Big hugs and sleepy vibes for your ds xx

[Layla]

(((hugs))) for the night wakings.... could you pls post your daytime routine (including feeds) as it may have something to do with that. It *could* be that the paci wasn't a prop before but is now... it could also be that he's so used to being bf at night? Do you have white noise in your dd's room?

[kjr928]

Usually this is the routine I shoot for:

8 wake
8:30 bf
10:30 sleep
12 wake
12:30 bf
1:30 solids
2:30 sleep
4 wake
4:30 bf
5:30 solids
6:30 bf
7:15 bed

One thing I can say is that I can be pretty inconsistent with what time I feed him (my 3yo can be very interfering). So sometimes DS will be fussing and I have to ask myself "when was the last time I fed him?" and sometimes trying to mentally backtrack and remember is difficult for me. Also, he does not always take a 1.5 - 2 hour nap - quite frequently he will only take a 45 minute nap. Sometimes it's the morning, sometimes the afternoon, but I feel like this always throws things off track.

Last night went something like this:

7:15p bed
8:15p wake
9:15p wake
11:30p wake
1:30a wake
2:30a wake
3am - 5:30am - awake the whole time. By this time I was so upset I was screaming at him in his room (only making him more upset of course) and it got that bad that my husband came in because he was afraid I was going to hurt him. I wanted to hurt him.  Then I took him into my bed at 5:30 and cried myself to sleep with him in my arms.

When he wakes up I either bf him (maybe twice +/- a night), or I give him a paci and sit next to him for a few minutes until he's calm & relaxed. He likes to hold onto my fingers when he's calming down. There isn't one particular thing I do every time he wakes up, so if it IS a prop, I'm not sure what it is.

Now tonight is going just as bad - I put him to sleep at 7:30, and now it's 9:30, and he has already woken up FIVE TIMES. I'm just sitting here a sobbing mess right now because everything just keeps getting worse and worse, and I don't know why this is happening and so I can't fix it.

[Layla]

I am sorry i don't have time to reply properly as i am at work but I'll be back tonight with a proper reply....i would get Dh on board tonight if possible to give yourself a break...

[KookyK]

I'm sorry its so awful. Big hugs. My 9 month old isn't much better I'm afraid - if it makes you feel any better not to be alone.

[Layla]

Hi again,

Now that I have some more time, I will note some things that I believe may be contributing to the night wakings... hopefully we can get to the bottom of it!

Routine wise, at 7 months, we were doing 2x1.5 hr naps with 3hrs A time however a lot of babies start to show a preference towards one shorter, one longer nap, therefore if he does that, that may be all he needs. I would increase his first A though.... that way his A is 3 hrs across the day and even if he's had a short sleep in the morning, he isn't awake too long before the next sleep period. I can't remember exactly how old dd3 was but I think it was just after 7 months that we started shortening her morning nap to 1hr to help her sleep longer in the afternoon as I found the afternoon nap was much better for her, better for her mood, better for her to have a better night and it also fit in with our school runs.

With regards to feeds, I would actually cut out lunch and dinner solids and only offer breakfast. It would be interesting to know what he's eating too as some foods cause discomfort and that may be another reason for his night wakings! Do you feel like he's uncomfortable at night? We didn't do any baby cereal as I found that caused constipation in my LO and more night wakings!

To take the guessing out of when you've fed him last... can you try and follow the EAS pattern and feed him right after he wakes up (with solids 1hr later), right after 1st nap (offer both sides); right after 2nd nap, a cluster feed before bath and then final feed right before bedtime... so it looks something like this:

7am - wake and feed
8am - some solids
10-11.30 - morning nap
feed both sides
2.30-4 - afternoon nap
feed both sides
5.30pm - feed
bath and bedtime routine
7ish - final feed and bed

I understand it must be tricky to follow a routine with another child around... I've attached a link for you to look through, which may give you some ideas on how to entertain your toddler when feeding the baby. Although it does say a newborn, hopefully you can pick some things out that will help you....'How do I breastfeed a newborn with a toddler running around?'

What I would do is pick a time when you will feed him at night and for all the other night wakings, resettle him. At this age, we still had up to 2 night feeds... one around 11-12 and then another one towards the morning (approx 4-5am, sometimes as early as 3am).
I know you said you don't think the paci is a prop but to be honest, if you're having to replug it.. maybe it IS a prop and you might have to think about either weaning it/sleep training without the paci or teaching him to replug? Not sure at what age they start to do that... we got rid of the paci at 4 months with dd2 because she was up all night wanting it and the boob. You mentioned there isn't one particular thing you do and so you're not sure which one is the prop... I think sometimes its us responding too early that can mess things up as well and so I would encourage you to stay back and listen to his cries and if he's just mantra crying, don't intervene at all and only if it turns into a real "I need you" cry, I would go to him and you could try shushing and maybe gently patting his bottom to resettle him or pu/pd. With us, shh/pat was more effective as pu/pd would only make things worse and I would shhh until she was settling down and then leave. Wait outside to see what she would do and if she'd start crying (not mantra cry), go back, shhh/pat until she was settling down and leave. Repeat, repeat, repeat. It's not the easiest thing to do in the middle of the night and I actually found she would settle much sooner when DH would resettle her than when I would go to her.... so I would encourage you to get him to help you out if possible.

Is he working on anything new like rolling? or could he be teething?

[kjr928]

Thank you so much for your response. Last night was a *little* better - I put him down at 7:30pm and by 9:30pm (only 2 hours) he had already woken up 5 times screaming. I just kept going back up there to sooth him. A lot of the time he is crying with his paci in his mouth - another thing that makes me question if it's a prop or not.

After 9:30pm he woke up every hour until 5am, and then slept for 3 hours, and that was enough to make me feel a little better. Today went something like this:

8am wake & bf
11:15 -12:30 nap
1pm bf
2pm solids (peaches, which he mostly refused)
3:30 - 4:15p nap
4:30 (?) bf
6:30 bf
7:30 bed
___________
8:15 - 8:45p crying
(Right now it's 10:15pm, so we'll see how the night goes)

I am trying to feed him as soon as he wakes up from now on, so thank you for that suggestion. Might take a couple of days for me to remember.

While I was trying to settle him after bed, I think I had a mini-epiphany. It just occurred to me that he didn't poop today, or yesterday, and possibly the day before that. He was eating a lot of bananas a few days ago (really likes them). Is it possible that he's constipated and that's the problem here? And if he's been backed up for 3+ days, what's the best way to get things going again? If this is the case he must be TERRIBLY uncomfortable. (And I was yelling at him the other night for crying  )

Here are some of the foods I've been introducing to him over the last month: rice (just for 3 days and then cut it out), oatmeal, wheat (new), carrots, sweet potato, applesauce, peaches, bananas. I'm adding something new about every 3 days.

Aside from that, I am going to try to make sure that his awake time is 3 hours (this seems to be difficult in the mornings though). I will also start offering solids only for breakfast and maybe I'll cut out the cereals?

If he is having a constipation problem, I would like to resolve that before I attempt taking his paci away. What do you think?

[KookyK]

If he's bf he might not poo every day and it might not be constipation. DS sometimes goes 2-3 days without a poo where daily is his norm. If tht happens he then does 2-3 in one day!! But normal poos and no straining. Maybe try a baby purée with prunes in if you're worried?

[Layla]

It does sound like discomfort to me to be honest. Bananas caused some pretty bad constipation for us too... I forgot to mention that!!!

I have attached a couple of links for you to look through re: feeding solids
Constipation and Laxative Foods
http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/index.htm#.U3sgFXYkQtU - I love this site and used it as a guide when introducing solids to dd3. It does mention there that bananas in large quantities causes constipation, so be careful with offering too much!

I used to do a pear, apple and prunes pure (cut the same amount into small pieces and boil with water until soft) and I used to give Jenny about a teaspoon right after solids as a dessert and helped with her not being constipated. I must admit, we haven't gone a day without a poo and we're breastfed but I have heard that BF babies are known to skip days and its not so much of a problem...

So, for now,  I would do solids just for breakfast and maybe in a few weeks you can add lunch (very small amount and an hour after BF). I remember when we first introduced solids, we were only doing 1-2 teaspoons to start with and then slowly build that up to 1-2 tablespoons, and the same with lunch and dinner (which was only at 9+ months)... and yes, I would cut out the cereal and look at other foods. Like I said before, baby cereal caused a lot of issues with my LO and I only used it for 3 or so days and then we had a lot of trouble with her not being able to poop and straining when pooping and I cut it out and looked at other foods.

So maybe a change in the diet will help and if you're not too keen on taking the paci away, I would start with that and if its not that, we'll look at other things.

Please don't worry about what happened the other night and how you handled it.... I have been there so many times myself and I struggled lots with dd2 (she had colic and screamed a lot as a baby and there were plenty of times I felt the way you did!)

Let me know how you go tonight

[kjr928]

Tonight was also really bad. I've been trying to pay closer attention and I realized that a lot of the time, the paci doesn't really calm him down at all. It stops the crying momentarily and sometimes he just starts up again with the thing in his mouth. Then I sit with him and stroke him and let him hold onto my hand and that's what settles him down eventually.

So when I first started feeding him solids, I did notice that his poop changed immediately. It used to be that really liquidy breastfed poop, and it became solid and formed - I only mention this because I'm not sure if that's normal. So taking his solid poops into consideration, and the fact that he hasn't gone in days and days now, that's what makes me think it's constipation. Also, I've been feeding him like 3-4 tbsp of baby food every time I do solids with him. So when I read that you gradually built up to 1-2 tbsp, I was a little surprised - I always just let him eat however much he wanted. And let me tell you, he ate A LOT OF BANANAS over the course of like 3 days and he hasn't pooped since.

Now I'm worried maybe he's impacted or something - is it safe to give him a baby glycerine suppository? We are seeing the doctor tomorrow for a couple of shots, but if he's really this uncomfortable I don't want him to have to wait another 24 hours. Is there anything that can be done to give him immediate relief? I'm afraid he's got a brick wall up there or something!!!

Thank god for this site!!!

[KookyK]

I heard dilute orange juice or brown sugar dissolved in warm water are v effective? Or maybe gripe water would ease discomfort? Bit of tummy massage and bicycle legs?

[kjr928]

Last night was pretty bad again, and he woke up at 6am instead of the usual 8am. But I fed him right away and did solids (prune & apple) about an hour later. Now he's asleep.

We're seeing the doctor today, so I will talk to her about the possible constipation!

[kjr928]

Took DS to the doctor today for some shots and asked about possible constipation. He suggested giving him a suppository to get things going. I did - and it took about 3 minutes before he was hollering and squirming and made the biggest poop you could imagine. Poor guy, it was like he was giving birth! (Think about 5-6 big wine bottle corks). LOL!!!

Anyway, immediately afterward, he became very relaxed and started closing his eyes right then and there. Must have felt good!

Bedtime went very easy, I'm really anxious to see how the night goes. Keep your fingers crossed that things get better for us tonight. From now on - very limited bananas and LOTS and LOTS of PRUNES!!!

[Layla]

I gave Jenny a suppository when she was really constipated (the time she got really constripated after being rice cereal and bananas... the incident I was talking about before). I gave it to her because I could tell she was really struggling to poop... I am glad he ended up pooping and I bet it was a big relief for him too. With regards to lots of prunes... just be careful not to go overboard with laxative type foods because you don't want to go the other way and him having diarrhea either. I found a little bit of my apple/pear/prune pure was enough to help her when we started solids.

Good luck for tonight hun.... I hope he sleeps a little better than he had been. Do you remember if all these night wakings began when you introduced solids?