thanks everyone again
Well, L is nearly 4 so I guess that means she should be getting around or just below 1l of drink per day according to those NICE guidelines. I'm pretty dubious as to whether she's getting this though TBH...
However, she's been like this for ages and seems to be fine as far as I can tell. Some of you said that some LOs just tend to drink more than others. Do you think this means it's ok for them to drink a bit less than the recommended amount and they just "know" what they need (like food)? L does ask for a drink when it's hot and she's been running around, for example. So I know she does sometimes feel thirsty!
Our approach to drinks sounds similar to lots of you. L has a cup of milk with breakfast, some water with a morning snack (which is then left out, available to her for the rest of the day, topping up if needed), water on table with lunch, water with afternoon snack, water with dinner and cup of milk with dessert. I.e. these are the times drinks are specifically offered/presented to her. However, she almost never actually finishes a cup that she's give (they are only small cups, too). She also usually has some water at BT (although I think this is more a stalling tactic/habit than thirst).
Sometimes if she hasn't had a drink for a while, I will ask her to have some, but usually I can't get her to have more than a few sips (if that). She is not some one who likes doing what is suggested of her and me suggesting/asking for her to drink actually makes her less likely to do so (we had this with PT - me asking her about going to the loo always meant she def would not go!). Because of this I try hard to get the balance right - I don't want me mentioning it too often to mean that she actually ends up drinking less!
I think it all comes down to pee! 
Honestly, if her pee is overly concentrated or dark in colour, or she pees infrequently, then I would push the drinks a bit more. If not, not.
She doesn't pee that often. Only two or three times/day usually (occasionally more), but it isn't dark or overly concentrated - looks fine really. They are quite big pees. She still wears a pull-up at night though and this is always soaked and heavy in the morning.
I push drink more than food. Both my kids are really bad at drinking and would go the whole day on one 200ml drink if I let them I think. I didn't used to worry about it too much as I assumed they just didn't need much but actually when Cadan had allergy tests done they commented on his kidney function and said he needed to drink more as he was showing signs of dehydration.
this makes me wonder though if perhaps she should drink more...
How do I know though??
TBH I think the only way to get her to drink more would be to introduce some kind of flavoured drink (straws/different cups etc don't seem to help..). But I don't want to do that if she doesn't really need it iyswim.
She does like fizzy water (calls it wine!) when we are out but I think if I introduced that it could get expensive...
