Book vs. Forum - CONFUSED!

[JamieD2013]

I've been reading "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" and I've noticed a few discrepancies between this site and Hogg's book.

(You can read my issues here: HELP Early Wakings vs Night Wakings vs Early Bedtime)

I checked out the section on "Starting an EASY Routine After 4 months" to see if I needed to start from scratch, and I noticed that, according to Hogg, the typical A time for my DS (7.5 months) is 2-3 hours. I'm thinking, according to Hogg the 3 hour A time is suited more for a 9 month old! Based on the average A times on this site, my son should be awake for 3hrs - 3 hrs and 15 minutes.

Should I be putting him down earlier?

I'm very confused, exhausted and bewildered. Can someone please clarify this for me? I've been forcing my son to stay awake for at least 3 hours in hopes that it would help him nap better during the day and sleep better at night with little success.

Also, (again referring to the Introducing EASY section mentioned above) if my son wakes up at 5 a.m. and does not fall back to sleep after PU/PD, do I keep him up until 9 like Hogg suggests? That seems tortuous for both my baby and me!

Basically, I'm losing my mind. EASY was SO much easier with my first and I'm ready to throw in the towel!!!!

[michaeljacknnugg]

Hugs, I'm sorry you're finding things hard.

What I found was, with my low sleep needs boy, that the book bore very little relation to the timings that suited him. And as I hadn't found the support here, I just went with his cues and my instinct and muddled along until I found something that worked.

What the book did give me was an order of things that minimised the reliance on props and ultimately helped me to get my son into good sleep habits. So I would concentrate on that, and try not to worry too much about timings. Focusing on ideal times rather than trying to listen to my baby would have driven me mad.

That said, there is some wonderful support here that can help you figure out what you need to adjust if you're struggling to work out where to start - you'll need to post your day in an EASY routine.

Hth!

[weaver]

I agree with MJN.

Do bear in mind that the heart of Baby Whispering is listening to your baby.  Any example Tracy gave is based on an 'average baby' and there really is no such thing. I know she wasn't keen on writing down sample routines for fear that people would read them as something they 'should be doing' rather than just an example.

So please give us some specifics and we can try to help a bit more for your individual situation.

[creations]

I checked out the section on "Starting an EASY Routine After 4 months" to see if I needed to start from scratch, and I noticed that, according to Hogg, the typical A time for my DS (7.5 months) is 2-3 hours. I'm thinking, according to Hogg the 3 hour A time is suited more for a 9 month old!

Sorry to read you are feeling confused, exhausted and bewildered.  Would you mind giving the page number for the section/s you are referring to?  If my memory is correct there are a couple of known typoes in one of the BW books but off the top of my head I am not sure which sections. I'd be happy to look up the parts you are referring to and try to clarify if possible.

[creations]

Actually even without the page numbers I think I may have the answer to your confusion. Having skim read a few parts (including pages 33 and 44) to remind myself of the contents I believe the discrepancies you may be seeing are due to the difference in how the A time is counted between the book and forum.
In the book Tracy counted the A time as starting *after* the E time and nappy change.  If E is calculated as lasting 30 - 45 mins (as per her examples in the book with WU and E at 7am, A starting at 7.30am) the Activity time suitable for age takes place *after this*.
p 44 "take him out of his cot and feed him. Follow this with an activity time. A four-month old can usually sustain 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 hour play period"  So the TOTAL amount of time from eyes open awake to eyes shut asleep adds to 2hrs (or 1hr 45) which is the same as the guidance A times for 4 months given on the forum FAQ.

On the forums the E time and A time have already been added together - giving a total A including the time taken to E - it's a clearer set of guidance times really. This means that slower or quicker feeders are given the same guidance A time.

I know this doesn't solve your LOs sleep difficulties or how exhausted you are. But hope it does help to clarify why the two appear to be saying different things when they are instead saying the same thing two different ways.
Please do ask if you are still unclear.

[JamieD2013]

Thank you for your replies! I'm sorry if I came off ungrateful or snippy - I'm just overwhelmed and exhausted.
I have written several previous posts. Here is the most recent, which includes several days worth of EASY. (I don't want to be redundant.) HELP Early Wakings vs Night Wakings vs Early Bedtime

In short, we're trying to do the 3:2 nap transition by extending A times from 2:45 to 3-3 hrs and 15 minutes with a 6:30 bedtime. For about a week, my DS (7.5 months) has been waking frequently at night (every 1.5-2 hours) His naps during the day are hit or or miss. Sometimes he takes a solid 1.5 hour nap (mostly in the mornings) and sometimes a 45 minute nap (mostly in the pm). For the short naps, I hold him back to sleep as I can't spend too much time doing shush/pat or PU/PD for naps (I have a three year old as well).

Creations: The section I'm referring to starts on page 43.

Weaver: I thought I was following his cues, but in previous posts after going over my EASY, several fellow moms said that he was likely UT and, as a result, was waking up early from his naps. I saw some success with that theory so I kept at it and pushed his A times to meet the recommendations on the forum. I read in Hogg's book today that early wake ups could mean OT, too, so I'm thoroughly confused! (Again, not trying to sound unappreciative - I know that it's hard to give advice when you aren't personally involved in the situation!)

Thank you again for all of your advice!

[JamieD2013]

Creations - that makes TOTAL sense, and I'm ashamed I didn't catch it before. Thank you for clarifying!

[creations]

No need to be ashamed about it!!
I wasn't around when the A times bookmark was first created, but my guess is that it was put together the way it is (with the *total* A time) is a much simpler format to follow.  I haven't asked admin about this (although could if you wanted) but based on how most FAQs are produced and worked out my guess is that this format worked most suitably on the forum.
When I was naps mod and EASY mod in the past I found it more time consuming and confusing to work out the total A time if people posted their EASY with separate times for E and A starting.

WRT your other question about keeping a LO up from 5am (if he won't resettle) until 9am nap time. Tracy does say about such examples that it is extremely hard work, the point is to re-set the body clock to get onto a suitable routine. Once the routine is established you revert to following cues.  This approach is rarely the first suggestion on the forums as we know how utterly exhausting it is, personally I would not be able to do it, and instead we tend to try a route that is a bit gentler on parent and baby. That said there are certainly people who prefer to have the very hard work for a few days and get the job done, it's faster.  LO can protest long and hard about changes but so long as you are with him the stress level is extremely low - even when the crying is loud.  All in all I think we are quite a gentle bunch here, Tracy suggested A time increments of 15 mins to 30 mins (and keeping him awake with a fan dance if necessary), on the forums you are more likely to see suggestions of 10 to 15 mins.

As you have a current EASY thread I suggest anyone who would like to support you on your routine questions post their advice to your current thread so we can keep all the relevant information in one place for you.
HELP Early Wakings vs Night Wakings vs Early Bedtime

If you have any further questions regarding confusion between the book and forum please do feel free to ask.

[JamieD2013]

Thanks again! It all makes sense and i can see how, when giving guidance, it's easier to consolidate the A and E times. I'll keep posting to the other thread from now on. 

[creations]

You're welcome