How do I do the EASY routine with a catnapping 5.5 month old?

[Mayflower7]

This is my first time posting here and I'm hoping the BW community will have some help for me!

I've tried for a very long time (since DS was about 8 weeks) to get a proper EASY routine going, but we are still all over the place. The main problem is that since about 9 weeks, he has only ever cat napped (30 mins). 

He is 5.5. months now and still only catnaps. We have no schedule to speak of. We do have a general pattern which is eat, play, sleep. But, nothing ever really happens at the same time, day after day, if you see what I mean. One day, he may wake up at 6.00 am, on another at 7.00. So because I follow his wake times, bed times also vary day to day, from 6pm to 7pm.

Each time, I put him down for his first nap 90 mins to 2 hours after he wakes. The morning time is the only time during which I can reliably read his tired signals (eye rubbing, lowering head when carried), and put him down without relying on the wake-time length too much. He self settles in his cot and wakes 30 mins later. I'm not sure why but his tired signals are much more difficult to read and interpret during the rest of the day so I always put him down too late or too soon for the other naps. I often end up putting him in the pram just to make sure he sleeps and we prevent ot/ut.

I am really confused by so many things I should be doing. Here is a whole list 

- Should I keep following his awake/tired rhythm, or should i give up on this and schedule naps at the same time each day? Is scheduling something he's likely to get used to? I've heard that some babies take about a week to get used to a scheduled nap time and then 'naturally' go to sleep at this time.
- Seeing as I can't prolong his naps (tried many times; failed), what should I do? 30 mins is clearly not enough for him as he's fussy during some awake times and wakes a lot at night. He's often tired only an hour after getting up. (But is impossible to get back down for another nap).
- How do I get a proper daily routine going under these circumstances? 

I will be going back to work soon, and I would really like to have more predictability to the day.
 




 
 

 

[Buttonbobs]

Hi there and welcome, a thirty min nap can be sign of being a little OT when going down for that nap, but it could also be a sign of jolting out of sleep for some reason. Those A times look on the short side for a 5.5 month old, have you seen this:

Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

This suggests the average A time for an LO of this age would be between 2 and 2.5 hours. So it perhaps seems he might actually be a little bit UT for that first nap. It is possible he has a shorter sleep cycle and 30 mins is his one full cycle. How is he when he wakes for that first nap?

I agree that if you're getting a short first nap it is often important to shorten a second A time perhaps by 30 mins or so, but it is difficult to get that right.

Could you lengthen that first A time and see if it makes a difference?

If you go to him before he wakes and hold him still would that help him to stay asleep?

[Mayflower7]

Hi
Thank you so much for your reply.

Ok, first, I tried going to DS to shush pat as he stirs to get him to go back to sleep but no avail - he doesn't really stir he simply opens his eyes suddenly once 30 mins are up.

I've tried to lengthen the wake time but this resulted in utter chaos - I did sometimes get a 40 min nap after a 2 hour awake time in the morning and sometimes not. What happened after that is that is that his sleepy signals are sooo unreliable and I've no idea when to put him down.

He will start showing sleepy signs an hour after getting up. If I put him down for a nap then - it doesn't work. I try at 90 mins - doesn't work. At 2 hours, he's still resisting. So I've completely lost track by then as to whether he's UT or OT.

Is there a foolproof way to do this? 

[Mayflower7]

I forgot to add - he is definitely tired after waking from short naps as he spends most of his wake time being fussy and grizzly.  He often wakes crying.

[lauradj]

Could you post your EASY so we can take a peek?  I'm a visual person 

[Buttonbobs]

There's no foolproof way unfortunately as LOs don't read the manual

What I would say is each A time might be different as what an LO can manage will depend on a number of factors including length of he sleep/nap immediately before. As pps have asked, could you post your day in EAS format, then we may be able to help a bit more?

[Mayflower7]

Hi all

Sorry, slightly delayed response as due to catnaps I don't get any free time


OK our EASY looks something like this


6.00 Awake (although this is anywhere between 6 and 7am)
6.15 Breastfeed
Active time - playing on the mat
7.00 solids (baby rice with some fruit)
7.30 nap (usually DS becomes drowsy within 90 mins of waking, and falls asleep on his own within minutes of being put in the crib. We have also done naps after 2 hours of waking but for those, I 'artificially' stretched the wake time)
8.00 awake from nap

- At this point, our day completely disintergrates and naps from this point on are pretty much guesswork.
- If DS wakes from nap crying, it means he'll be tired the whole wake time. Attempts to extend nap fail, and attempts to put him down early, and at 90 min and at 2 hr after waking. If he wakes in a good mood, putting him down for a nap also often fails at 2 hours, 90 mins etc.

The below continuation is what happened yesterday - Sorry this is not a strict EASY, more like a log of what happened (and you can see why we don't have an EASY!)

8.00 Breastfeed (these are very short; DS feeds only minutes on each side)
A: playtime but very fussy and tired the whole time.
9.30 - 9.45 attempts to put down for a nap - 'meltdown' which lasted until 10.20 at which point he fell asleep
10.20-11.00 nap
11.15 breasfeed
A: Walk in the pram, fell asleep whilst we were walking
12.20-12.50 nap in pram
13.00 quick BF
13.30 solids (puree)
14.10 attempt to put down for a nap; lost of crying and resistance (crying for 20 min until he fell asleep)
14.14-15.00 nap, wakes up crying and fussy (failed attempt to extend and put back down for a nap shortly after)
15.10 feed
16.40 overtired meltdown but on a 'second wind' afterwards
17.00 solids
17.20 bfeed, then bath, massage, and wind down routine.
17.45 in cot - fell asleep right away, no fuss (this is what puzzles me - awake time was 3 hours and he was clearly tired but made no fuss when I placed him in the cot)

- Although he was clearly tired in the daytime, DS slept well at night, semi-waking only at 22.40, 2.40 and waking up at 6.00am (this was our best night yet, we usually have about 4 wakings, especially in the early parts of the evening and in the light sleep stage after midnight...)

Notes:
- We do have a solid nap routine and I always take him up for a wind down in a blackout room white noise, nappy change, sleeping bag.
- He can self settle easily if I get the wake time right
-He's a great eater, we've just started experimenting with solids, eats really well
- No medical conditions, no obvious teething etc.
-He doesn't respond well to shush pat (only sometimes) and PU/PD drives him nuts
-Active times are usually rolling around on the mat, playing with toys, playing with family members, tummy time, walks etc.

Sorry guys, this is probably not very coherent but our days are generally not very coherent either! I'm either putting DS down too early or too late and I don't know which.

Help me get onto an EASY routine!!

[Buttonbobs]

I don't have time to post a full reply right now (I'll be back) but just wanted to say in response to this:

The below continuation is what happened yesterday - Sorry this is not a strict EASY, more like a log of what happened (and you can see why we don't have an EASY!)

Very few babies will follow a strict by the minute 'textbook' EASY, this is a flexible routine not a schedule Thank you so much for posting your day, the actual detail will, as lauradj has said, help us to see more easily what might help. Don't be disheartened that it doesn't look like a perfect EASY - very few do. ((Hugs)) for now, will be back later x

[Mayflower7]

Wow, thank you for the support! That's great to hear.

I forgot to mention that we have an early bedtime (6pm) based on max wake time from last nap. If DS happens to have a nap around 4.30, bedtime is 7pm. In fact, it was 7pm for quite a while, but it goes back and forth.

[Buttonbobs]

Well it's a little tricky to say after one day (please do post the next days' EASY as they happen) but it does look like he might be OT generally, but I think that the cause of the OT is actually him being UT generally for naps and the naps just not being long enough. I do think if you push out the A times to nearer the average for his age and hold them there for at least 3-5 days to help him adjust then you will start seeing some improvement.

Something like this:

WU: 6 (or if later just shift the whole day later as needed)
Nap 1: aim for 8.30 am but no earlier than 8am

If he sleeps for an hour and a half or more then go for another 2-2.5 hour A time before a second nap
Nap 2: 11.30/12

And then you'll need to put in another nap in the afternoon to get you through, possibly around 3pm/3.30

If the first nap is less than an hour, you'll need to shorten the A time following, so say he wakes from that 8am nap at 8.30ish, go for 1.5 hours A time instead and the second nap will then be at 10am. It may take a week ish for him to adjust and he will still show tired signs earlier than this as he is used to sleeping sooner. Also, at this age, LOs start to appear tired (yawning etc) for other reasons, it can be they are just looking for a change of scene, so perhaps try going into a different room and doing something new or going outside if it is nice enough, and see if that helps you extend the A times.

You may have a few grumpy days as he gets used to it but it may well make a big difference - consistency is the key

Good luck xxx

[Mayflower7]

Oh thank you! That really gives me something concrete to go on. I did have an inkling that this was an UT/OT loop of some kind due to naps being so short.

Good point about tired signs being about something else. Ok, will try this new approach for a few days and see how it goes. I'm sure I'll think of another question before too long!

PS - most days are pretty much like this

[Mayflower7]

Just a quick update to say we've tried to have the first nap two hours after waking (3-4 days now I think) but so far no luck, still getting 30 minute naps on the dot!
 
The rest of the day is scheduled according to 90 min wake times following the first nap. But again, no luck - they are almost all resisted!

[Buttonbobs]

What is her mood on waking at the 30 min point?

Has she ever taken a longer nap?

[Mayflower7]

He  is actually quite happy most of the time on waking after the morning nap; most afternoon naps are followed by a bit of crying and general fussiness during A time that follows.

Yes, in the past there have been longer naps: when he was about 7-8 weeks old, naps were between 1h to 2.5hrs, then suddenly stopped as he turned 8-9 weeks.

Then, when DS was about 5 months, there were isolated naps of 90 mins each and some of 40 mins. This was after a 90 min wake time *and* after a 2 hour wake time in the morning.  By isolated I mean, they happened one day (without any intervention) but the following day(s) just went back to 30 min morning naps. 

The EASY you see above is pretty typical of our days since DS was about 4 months old. 


 

[Buttonbobs]

Sorry about getting the gender of your lovely LO mixed up - it had been a long day

The pattern you describe does sound a bit like an OT/UT spiral - short A times at the start of the day leading to OT and grumpiness by the end of the day. It might be that your LO has  nap sleep cycle of 30 mins rather than 45c, so a 30 min nap cod be UT.

Have you tried lengthening those A times?